tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59380396769008105572024-03-26T08:47:48.573-07:00Misadventures of a mystic gentFlash fiction, short stories and a few poems written by Smiran Bhandari. Email: smiranb@gmail.comSmiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.comBlogger55125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-6732451725472605002020-07-27T08:59:00.000-07:002020-07-27T09:13:19.569-07:00The Mind Reader<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It was a near perfect Sunday
morning. Clear blue skies and a cool breeze which would kiss your face softly
if you stepped outside. It was a great day to relax, unwind and get ready for
the upcoming battles in the coming week. I made myself a cup of tea and started
reading the newspaper. Tea and newspaper was a satisfying experience, especially
on Sunday mornings. So, while I was reading the newspaper an ad caught my
attention and it suggested an interesting way to spend my afternoon. A saint
claimed that he was enlightened and was giving a discourse on the inner
workings of our universe. I decided to attend the discourse as I had nothing
better to do. I was mostly suspicious of Godmen and organised religion but the
saint's claim of enlightenment made me curious to know more. Not that I
believed in the concept of enlightenment but I definitely had a fascination for
it. Listening to what the saint had to say would be an interesting experience.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Anyhow, I arrived at the place of
discourse and saw that a substantial number of people were interested in what
the self proclaimed saint had to say. I hoped whatever he had to say would be
interesting enough to make my sunday afternoon worthwhile. I took my seat in
the hall and eagerly awaited the saint's arrival. I was expecting an old
gentleman in flowery robes and a beard that would reach till the man's stomach.
But, I was quite surpised to see a young professional looking gentleman in his late-thirties. He wore a prim blue shirt and nicely fitting black pants with formal
shoes to boot. His rimless glasses, clean shaven face and neatly combed hair
reminded me of a news reporter. I could see that I was not the only one who was
surprised as many of the people had bemused expressions on their face. The
person sitting next to me thought he had arrived at a business conference
accidentally until I assured him that he was indeed at the right place.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The saint began his discourse by
clarifying that he was not really a saint but a philosopher. A philosopher who
had experienced enlightenment and that's why people considered him a saint. His
philosophy was quite straightforward and personally I thought that it was a
ripoff of Buddha's teachings. Anyways, his idea was that all human actions
emanated from one source. Thoughts. The stream of words and sentences that come
in our heads quite randomly. Thoughts were random but they defined our lives
and would be a precursor to our behaviour, actions, emotions and feelings. But
his philosophy was not the reason he claimed enlightenment. He claimed he could
read people's thoughts with pinpoint accuracy. And hence he could understand
any person's feelings and emotions. He claimed he could even predict people's
future actions as thoughts propelled action. To prove that he could read thoughts
he would randomly pick five people from the audience and predict their
thoughts. He was a human thought detecting machine. And he claimed only an
enlightened being could be that. He argued that thoughts signified the true
inner nature of an individual. After hearing these words, the atmosphere in the
hall had become electrifying. The experience was akin to attending a magic show
where incredible things could be witnessed. Even I was eager to see how things
would proceed from here.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The saint initiated the process
by randomly picking a woman in the audience as his first volunteer. The lady
promptly walked to the stage and stood beside the saint. The saint explained
that to access any person's thoughts he would have to gaze at the individuals
eyes for a minute while holding the person's hands. He proceeded to hold the
lady's hands and looked at her intensely for around a minute. "Whom have
you lost recently my dear lady. I can see so much of grief in your
thoughts" he asked her abruptly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The lady seemed genuinely
startled at this proclamation and she looked a little unhinged. " I lost
my son three weeks ago" she answered slowly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"And I sense guilt too in
your thoughts. Do you feel you could have saved your son's life"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Yes. I feel extremely
guilty. I feel I could have taken better care of him. Maybe then he could have
survived"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"No my lady. There is
nothing that you could have done. You cannot fight destiny. No one can. Forsake
your guilt. I can see that it is crushing your heart. Take a deep breath. Let
go and be free."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Thank you Sir" the
lady replied gratefully and proceeded to take her seat in the crowd. The
gathered crowd was both impressed and shocked at this magical display of mind
reading. My logical brain was inferring that this was probably staged and
rehearsed. But my instincts were telling me a different story altogether.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt that the reaction in the lady was
extremely genuine. There seemed to be a visible improvement in the demeanor
after the saint reassured her. Her drooping shoulders had picked up and it
looked like a huge burden had been taken off her shoulders. That gave me reason
to believe that perhaps it was not staged. Still, some people were just good
actors and hence any judgement at this stage would be premature.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The saint then began to pick
another person from the crowd. He picked a sleek and sophisticated person in
his late twenties. The person was slightly hesitant to go to the stage as if he
was scared of his thoughts being strip searched. But he eventually took the
plunge and reached the stage.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The saint held both the
volunteer's hands and looked at him squarely. After a minute or two, the saint
remarked "You should not have come to the stage son. Now I know why you
were fearing to come to the stage son. You wanted to hide your thoughts"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"No no. There is nothing
like that" the sleek man stammered in a rather alarmed way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Ofcourse it is like that. I
can sense fear in you. Fear due to infidelity. You have cheated on your wife
haven't you"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The lady who was sitting next to
the sleek man, presumably his wife, suddenly broke down at those words and
started crying incessantly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"It's not true. It's not
true at all" denied the young man.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Do not give me untruths and
insult my powers by suggesting I am saying untruths" shouted the saint.
"I suggest that you confess everything to your wife. the burden of lies
will eventually eat you away to the core. Go and unburden yourself without
regard to the consequences."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The sleek man stood there for a
while before meekly nodding his head and proceeded to his seat. It looked like
he was going to take the saint's advice and confess to his wife.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The whole family drama that had
unfolded in front of our eyes had elicited a lot of gasps in the crowd. This
time, nobody seemed to be in doubt about the saint's capabilities. Meanwhile,
the sleek man and his wife had left the hall with the wife still crying
profusely.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The third person the saint called
for volunteering plainly refused to go to the stage. A few people laughed and
someone in the crowd made a wisecrack statement of hidden affairs and dirty
underwear being washed in public. I personally could not blame the person for
not volunteering as the idea of having your thoughts being X-rayed publicly was
indeed scary and not everyone's cup of tea.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Eventually, the third volunteer
was found in the form of a thirty something male with a moustache. The saint
again responded by holding both the hands and staring intensely at the
volunteer. This time the saint reacted differently. He quietly hugged the
volunteer and clenched his shoulders. "Do you want me to share your
thoughts. I can understand if it's too personal" asked the saint.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"No. You can share whatever
you have to say I have no problems with it."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Thats very brave of you I
must say. So, have you attempted it or are you planning it" the saint
asked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Attempted?"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Yes. I think you know what
I mean. Suicide"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"I attempted it three days
back. I was about to hang myself but my wife intervened and saved me"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
This time there was an uproar in
the crowd with quite a few "Oh my gods" from the people at this
revelation. I was taken aback and shaken too. I observed the volunteer closely
and saw a normal looking person. I could never have guessed that the person was
suicidal.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"What led you to this
situation. I am not able to pinpoint the exact reason" asked the saint.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"I lost all my money in the
stock market. I gambled it all away" the volunteer replied solemnly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"I do understand your
anguish. But I suggest that you do not take this extreme step. If you go who
will take care of your family. Do not orphan them. Restart your life. Get a
job. And build your wealth again."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
These words seemed to re-energize
the volunteer. He nodded vigourously and worked back to his chair with what
seemed like a spring in his step.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
After this episode, I was
virtually convinced of the saint's thought reading skills. And so was the
crowd. Whether this constituted enlightenment was debatable but even I had to
admit that what I was seeing was remarkable and extraordinary. After seeing the
three volunteers, I was quite confident that the process was not staged. No one
could be this good in acting. Not even Oscar award winners.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The saint called on the next
volunteer. She was a middle aged woman, most probably a housewife. I cannot
recount the exact details as her thoughts were mundane and unremarkable
especially when compared to the other volunteers. She was worried that her
daughter was not eating her food properly or something on those lines. One of
the crowd yawned loudly at that. That was perhaps the most remarkable incident
with regards to the fourth volunteer. Even the saint seemed a little disappointed
at the anti-climax.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
For the next volunteer, the saint
pointed at the general direction of where I was sitting. "You!" he
exclaimed. I looked around me wondering whom he had chosen.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"You in the yellow
shirt" said the saint. Yellow shirt! I thought excitedly. That has to be
me. I looked at my shirt and confirmed the colour. Of all the multitudes of
people, I was chosen as a volunteer. Wow, what were the odds! I had no reason
to object going to the stage as my thoughts were as boring as the lady's before
me. After this, there would not be a semblance of doubt about the saint's
thought reading abilities since I would be a part of the experiment.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
My head was in a tizzy as I was
walking towards the saint. I was extremely nervous and excited and my knees
trembled as I walked. Someone was going to read my innermost thoughts and
feelings and perhaps my innermost nature. I was generally skeptical of people
who purported to do anything supernatural. But if there was ever a person who
could read my mind the saint was one. I reached the stage and stood next to
him. He clasped my hands as he had done with the others. His hands were
ice-cold and sent shivers through my body. The first thing I noticed about him
were his eyes. They seemed glazed and intoxicated. Yet he seemed in total
control. He then went on to look at me intently. I realised that he was not
looking at my eyes alone. Infact for the first thirty seconds, he looked
everywhere but at my eyes. My shoulder, my chest, my stomach, my legs, even my
crotch before he finally settled on my eyes. I looked back confidently,
comforted by the fact that I had nothing to hide and no troublesome thoughts.
Meanwhile, even I was also staring and observing him. His arms were twitching
involuntarily. Something told me he was getting uncomfortable. He took around
four minutes before he eventually stopped staring at me. My instincts were
telling me that there was an art and science behind what he was doing. I felt
he was trying to tune in to my body language by mimicking it and thus
understanding the vibes. His approach seemed extremely scientific.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
When he finally spoke he seemed
disturbed about something. "Since you are my fifth and final volunteer and
there were so many others with whom I have accessed their inner nature, I feel
exhausted. That explains why I have taken more than my due time. Anyways, here
are your thoughts, my friend. You like to be alone. Intensely alone. You can
remain alone without company than most people can. And, uh, you are worried
about the health of someone beloved. Isn't that true my friend" His
diffidence in mentioning the second part told me that he was not completely
sure of it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Yes sir. You are right. I
have a tendency to be alone. And yes, my father has suffered an accident. I am
extremely concerned about his health" I replied.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The saint heaved a sigh of
relief. "Meet me after the discourse" he said quietly as he shook my
hands.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I walked towards my seat and as
expected the crowd were none too happy with my thoughts. The crowd had got used
to fireworks after the first three volunteers. But, I was quite satisfied with
the experience. I sat down at the seat while the saint went into the finer
details of his philosophy. There were far more buyers to his philosophy now
that he had impressed everyone with his performance. I was not paying much
attention to the discourse as I was busy piecing together the experiences I had
with the saint. The more I thought about it the more I was getting confused. He
had successfully penetrated my thoughts and found out something very few people
were aware of. Was it due to a supernatural ability that he was able to access
my thoughts. What he had done was unbelievable. He had guessed what could be
considered my inner nature. And most remarkably, he knew I was concerned about
someone close to me. Unless he followed me regularly there was no way he could
have done that. What he had done was truly magical.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I was shaken from my
introspection when I heard a loud applause from the crowd. His discourse had
ended. Many people decided to honour him with a standing ovation. I stood up
too and clapped enthusiastically. While everyone were departing, I proceeded to
the backstage as he had asked me to meet him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The saint seemed to be waiting
for me and shook my hands warmly as I entered the backstage. "Hey. I found
it really difficult to access your thoughts. I would like to conduct the
exercise once again. For my satisfaction. I take this very seriously. Would you
care to join"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Of course. I would love to
join" I replied.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Great. Meet me at Hotel
Ramada then. Say tomorrow 6 P.M"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Sure. I will be there"
I said excitedly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Very well. Thank you so
much for catering to my whims and fancies" he said smilingly. "By the
way, do you play Poker?" he asked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Yes. Occasionally"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"That explains. Anyways, see
you tomorrow" he said and departed to his room backstage.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I could not believe my luck. I
would get another opportunity to interact with the magician. In my eyes, that's
what he was. And I wanted to find out his tricks. Because every magician had
one. I could not wait to see him the next day</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The next day, I reached the
Ramada hotel at the designated time. I had a hard time sleeping the previous
night as I was recollecting and analysing the events of the day. I felt that I
was missing something. Some trick or sleight of hand which could explain
something as mysterious as thought reading.But, I was hoping that my meeting
with the saint would change the equation.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I knocked at the saint's room and
almost immediately he opened the door and led me inside. "I am glad you
could make it. You know, yesterday I found it difficult to understand what was
going on in that head of yours. I almost guessed at what you were thinking and
going through. But for me there is no room for guessing. That is why I take it
really seriously. So I want to take another shot at it"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Sure" I replied.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"If you don't mind, I would
like to take this medicine before I start. It really helps me you know" he
said pointing at a box containing a green coloured powdery substance.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"The medicine helps you in
the process?" I asked. I was quite intrigued. The medicine looked like a
psychotropic substance and maybe it was the reason for the saints glazed look
that I had noticed the previous day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Yes. This is no ordinary medicine.
Without this, it is virtually impossible to access other people's
thoughts" he said while putting two spoons of the green powder into the
glass of water. Once the powder dissolved, he quickly gulped down the glass.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
And sure enough, his eyes had become
glazed and his body had completely relaxed while he was sitting in his chair.
His eyes were gazing at me intently as if trying to penetrate me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Now come here my friend.
Let me hold your hands" the saint said calmly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Wait. Can I try this too.
Can I try to gauge your thoughts and inner nature.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"What. How can you? You
don't know how to"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"What if I try the medicine
too"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"No. You still wont be able
to. You are not me. You are not a saint. You need enlightenment for that"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"I know I am not. And if I
am not able to do what you do, it will just confirm you are a saint. If I am
also able to gauge your thoughts then it is basically the medicine which does
most of the work. Right?"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The argument struck a chord with
him but he was not totally convinced. I realised that he still had doubts of
his saintliness. So, I decided to use that point in convincing him further</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"If I fail to read your
thoughts which I most probably will, it will show for sure that the medicine
only works for saints like you. There will be no disputing that you are a saint
and not some street magician"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
My persuasion seemed to be
working. "There is no way you know a thing about this. You wont be able to
read my inner nature and what I am and what I have done. And that will prove I
am a saint" he said while handing me the medicine.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Surely" I said while
gulping down the medicine. The medicine tasted like a pungent version of
vanilla. It was nothing like I had ever tasted before. And its effects were
instant</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The colours in the room suddenly
looked brighter and with a clarity I could not imagine existed. I looked at the
saint and smiled at his smiling face,. But after the medicine the saint was
looking like a totally different person. After around two minutes, the effects
of the medicine really started kicking in. It exponentially improved my
observation and made my thinking extremely sharp and acute. I stared at the
saint and observed him intently. I could observe the minutest of his
expressions in his eyes, face and even his nose. The medicine introduced
intuitive, perceptive and discerning abilities that I never knew I had.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"So, how does it feel my
friend. Is it working" the saint asked curiously.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"You have trained for years
haven't you"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Trained in what" said the
saint taken aback at my observation. He had not expected this.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Trained in the field of
face reading and body language. I can see that in you." I replied.
"That's how you are able to make the accurate judgements about
people." I said. The medicine was actually working. It was not like I was
reading his mind. I was just reading the signals that his mind was emitting
through body language and facial expressions. I was just able to discern things
that I normally wouldn't. Someone like the saint<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>who had years of extreme training could
combine his experience of reading people along with the acute observation that
the medicine induced to make it look like he was mind reading.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Listen. It's enough. Stop
observing me. The medicine seems to be working to an extent. I don't want you
to read me anymore" the saint said. His expressions were changing. He was
extremely worried about something. I wish I had his skills to make more refined
judgement. But my mind was still piecing things together slowly. The saint had something
to hide. That had become clear to me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"I think you better leave.
It was a bad idea to give you the medicine" the saint continued.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"But don't you want to read
my thoughts anymore"</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"I want to but I don't want
you to read mine. Do you know who I am" he asked. His voice had suddenly
changed. It had become more edgy and dangerous. He looked at me without
smiling. I suddenly realised what he seemed to be hiding. His eyes reflected
the answer. I got the vibe that he was a hardened criminal. He was not your
usual conman who pretended to be a saint. He was far worse. I suddenly realised
that he could sense the fear in me. He could read my mind and know that I had
found out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Do you have a revolver with
you" I asked. I did not intend to ask that but the sentence just poured
out of me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"No. I do not carry a
revolver. But since you already know, the knife is the weapon of my
choice" He opened the cupboard in his wardrobe and showed me a large glittering
knife to prove his point. "I intend to use this on you if you try any
funny business" The way he smiled at me told me that he meant it too. The
look in his eyes terrified me. It told me that he was very capable of murder. I
had to keep my calm but. I knew I was not dealing with a reasonable person. I
knew If I panicked he would use the knife as a reaction. I did not have many
options in front of me while he was contemplating killing me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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"But you have changed. I
have read you. You are a saint now. The past is behind you. You have reformed
now. Killing me will not help you. It will only take you back. And you need to
go forward" I said pleadingly. I was bluffing at this point. I had no idea
whether he had changed or not. But I was desperate and I could not think of any
other choice.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"You have changed right. you
are a saint now remember" I continued calmly. He kept looking at me with a
strange expression while I said this. I was not sure whether my strategy had
worked or not. I knew he could read me much better than I could read him. I
half-expected him to say "Nice try kid. But it doesn't work on me"
and then use his knife to perhaps slash my neck.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"You are a philosopher now.
Remember, that's what you said during the discourse. Philosophers are rational
people" I tried again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The final sentence had a definite
effect on him. Mentioning the word Philosopher had done the trick. His reaction
was completely different. He kept the knife on the table and fell on the chair.
He was on the verge of breaking down. My bluff had worked. It was strange to
see a self proclaimed murderer almost cry in front of me. But I was more than
relieved. He was trying to reform and luckily my words had reminded him of
that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"I assure you that I will
not mention this to anyone" I said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
"Get out of here before I
change my mind" he replied quietly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I overcame the temptation to run
and slowly walked out of the room and closed the door behind me. As soon as I
was outside the room, I ran down the stairs and fled the hotel as fast as I
could.</div>
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Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-36660566373778492692020-05-06T04:19:00.000-07:002020-08-08T09:24:29.872-07:00The disillusionment of Sultana<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In the eighteenth
century, a genie gave a certain Sultan a magic ring which, when rubbed, would
force a woman’s private parts to speak, and confess all their indiscretions. In
the end, the Sultan’s misuse of the ring led the genie to take it back. Two
hundred years later, in Mumbai - just the other day, in fact - the same genie
gave the ring to a good woman named Sultana Begum, and told her that it worked
just as well on men.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The genie had been
looking for a deserving candidate who was worthy of the ring and decided to
present it to the most chaste and virtuous woman in Mumbai. From the vantage
point of the genie’s astral dimension, Sultana Begum was an easy choice to make
as she had never lied or wished ill for anyone in the fifty two years of her
existence. She was also a loving, caring and gentle person who could not hurt a
fly. The genie visited her in her dreams when she was fast asleep and found her
fantasising about devouring besan ke ladoo alongside badam ka doodh to gulp it
down with. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sultana Begum” the
genie proclaimed “Keep the ladoos aside and pay attention. I am gifting you a
magical ring. As soon as you wear it and rub it while pointing at a man’s
groin, the man will have no choice but to divulge his innermost secrets. But do
not be surprised when the voice comes from the man’s most precious belonging,
his genitals. Since you are the most virtuous woman in Mumbai, you are granted
this amazing gift. Now go ahead and peek at souls of men you wish to unveil.
Take care and do go easy on the sweets my sweet lady. Sweet dreams.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sultana awoke with a
start and frantically looked around for the genie. All she could see was her
husband Mahboob Khan snoring blissfully besides her in their tiny windowless
room. As she was going back to sleep, she noticed a gleaming object near the
table lamp. She pounced at it and was elated to find that it was the same ring
that the genie had shown to her in her dreams. Her dream had indeed come true!
She went back to sleep glowing in the satisfaction that she was the most
virtuous woman in the city and the proud owner of a magic ring. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mahboob Khan awoke the
next morning as the sun rose and glanced at the sleeping figure of his
beautifully rotund wife. An angelic smile was plastered on her face. She must
be dreaming about jalebis dipped in rabdi I am sure, Mahboob thought to
himself. Mahboob Khan considered himself lucky that an auto rickshaw driver
like him had managed to find a wife like Sultana. It was not just because she
was lovely and beautiful albeit leaning on the plumpier side physically; it was
because she made it worthwhile to continue living meaningfully in an otherwise
difficult and dreary existence. All the aches in his aging body and the never-ending
migraine resulting from a stressful day at work became tolerable due to the
inexhaustible supply of her smiles, her charms and her silliness. Had he been
stuck with a shrew, he would have had run away from home a long time back to
become a fakir in some faraway place where no one could find him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He woke Sultana up as
the day was long and the chores were plenty. As soon as she woke up she began
to prattle about some genie and a magic ring which made men reveal their
secrets. Mahboob gave her a glass of water to contain her jabbering and to calm
her down. Once she caught her breath, she showed him the ring and narrated the
dream. Mahboob examined it and came to the conclusion it was no ordinary ring.
The colourful jewel that adorned the top of the ring glittered luminously;
clearly it was worth a fortune.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“There is no such thing
as magic Sultana. I hope you have not started lying for the sake of an expensive
ring. Tell me where did you really find it?” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“If you don’t care to
believe me then I will prove to you about its powers. All I have to do is rub
this ring and point it at your junior and your junior will begin to speak” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mahboob looked at her
with a quizzical expression. The conversation was getting too weird for him.
“Have you lost your mind early in the morning? What do you mean ‘point at my
junior’?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sultana began to blush
like a schoolgirl. Three children and advancing age had not managed to quell
her prudishness about sexual organs. She pointed to Mahboob’s groin and covered
her face to suppress her giggles.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What a fine specimen you are Sultana. Go
ahead and let me also see the wonderful powers of your amazing ring.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sultana
enthusiastically rubbed the ring and waited for the magic to unfold.
Immediately there was a noise of clearing of throat and then a robot like voice
arose from the penis of Mahboob and spoke “Your husband Mahboob Khan has hidden
many things from you. Once a week he goes to a local bar and gulps down half a
bottle of whisky and lies through his teeth once he comes home. He is also in
the habit of chewing tobacco everyday but hides the smell by eating cardamom
before coming home. Other than you he does not have any other sexual partner
even though before marriage he was a total rogue with girls. He would whisper
to school girls that he has an amazing secret to tell them but would do so only
if they let him caress their breasts. After having his fun he would admit he
had no secret to tell and would run away from there. After marriage he almost
yielded to your neighbour Nafisa’s charms when she wanted your husband as she was
unhappy in her own abusive marriage. But your husband controlled his
temptations in time as he remembered your face and remained faithful. Also,
once he slapped two children who were renting his auto as he found them making
out through his rearview mirror. He was too ashamed to narrate this to you.
Enough said.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The colour drained from
Mahboob’s face as this peculiar confession from unexpected quarters left him
dumbstruck. There was no doubt in his mind that the ring held powerful magical
abilities which could easily extract the innermost secrets of a man as it had
done with him. His head hung in shame and he found it difficult to look his
wife in the eye. His carefully constructed image of a virtuous person who was
pious and upright in his behaviour had been shattered in an instant. To keep
his wife in good humour, he had decided he would say only those things that he
anticipated would make her happy, thereby hiding those matters which were
unpleasant. This he believed was the secret recipe for their happy marriage so
far, until the magical ring came along and had other plans in store.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The look on Sultana’s
face though was becoming more colourful by the moment. Initially, her face
reddened with astonishment but slowly turned a tone of green as she processed
the words and became more livid. Mahboob glanced at her uneasily and tried to
figure out which of his misdemeanours was hurting her most.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Don’t you feel ashamed
of striking young children? The Almighty will never forgive you and will
unleash his wrath on you for hurting them” Sultana shouted while continuous
streams of spit sprayed from her mouth and on to Mahboob’s face.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“But they were doing
unspeakable things in my auto. You should have seen how that boy’s hand slid
inside the girl’s top as he was kissing her. I could not allow this kind of
haram to desecrate my auto” Mahboob declared in his defence as he wiped the
spit from his face.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh! Haram is it? Have
you forgotten what you did when you were a kid? Fooling innocent girls and
trapping them with your lies. Hey Almighty, give me the strength to carry on
living with this hypocrite!” Sultana exclaimed and began to sob. Mahboob had
never seen Sultana this hurt before. He internally cursed the ring for souring
his wife’s mood. She had not raised the topic of his hidden vices yet so he
needed to think of a way to divert her attention as quickly as possible. He
immediately came to the conclusion that the ring should be used on one of their
three sons. Hopefully it would distract her from her misery and stop the
barrage of admonishments flowing from her mouth. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He contemplated which
of the three sons would be the right choice. Their eldest son Afzal was a lazy
good for nothing bugger who whiled away his time doing nothing. The ring could
be used on him to extract a distracting enough confession. Afzal would finally
be of some use and could be relied upon for this work at least. Mahboob got up
from the bed and called Afzal from the adjoining room which he shared with Abdul,
his brother. He made Afzal stand in front of Sultana and requested her to test
the ring on their eldest son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sultana hesitated for a
moment until curiosity got the better of her. She wiped away her tears and
rubbed the ring while pointing it towards Afzal. Instantly, a deep electronic
voice erupted from Afzal’s crotch. “Your eldest son Afzal has hidden many
secrets from you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His sexual escapades
are innumerable. Girls from the age of 14 and women up to the age of 40 have
fallen victim to his inexorable seductive charms. His sexual appetite is
immense and insatiable. Every afternoon, when you believe he is wasting his
time with friends, he is on the lookout for fresh sexual partners as he gets
bored easily and needs variety. He visits prostitutes when his daily
requirement is not fulfilled and even they who are not easily pleased are
enamoured by his abilities and are ready to provide their service for free.
Once, he had sex eight times in a single day with three different women...”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sultana quickly rubbed
the ring again to silence the impudent voice as she could not bear to hear
anymore of Afzal’s exploits. No words came out of her mouth to rebuke her son.
She looked forlornly at Mahboob as if wishing he would tell her it had been a
joke all along. Mahboob shook his head and scolded at his son “Had you put half
of this energy in a productive business we would not have been so poor. Get out
of my sight and make sure you end this indecent pleasure-seeking of yours.”
Afzal gave a sheepish grin and went back to his room.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Afzal returned soon
after, dragging along with him the half asleep figure of his brother
Abdul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Ammi, please use your miraculous
magic ring on Abdul too. Let his true nature be revealed to us. I am sure he is
not as sweet as he looks.” Abdul was the apple of the eye of his parents and
his pleasant countenance had swept away the hearts of most people in their
chawl. His curly hair and the look of wide-eyed innocence bestowed a
permanently angelic expression on his face.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">By now, Mahboob had
become more circumspect about subjecting anyone else to the tyrannical powers
of the ring, especially more so when it would be used on his favourite child
Abdul. “Sultana, let sleeping dogs lie. Do not use this ring on Abdul or anyone
else for that matter” Mahboob pleaded but his entreaties were to no avail. Once
again curiousity got the better of Sultana as she pointed the ring at a bleary
eyed Abdul and rubbed it vigourously.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A squeaky voice emerged
from underneath the half pant of Abdul “Your middle son Abdul Khan is a master
of deceit and guile. He is a compulsive liar and inveterate cheat. He has kept
hidden many aspects of his life from you. He pretends to represent the
interests of factory workers in the chawl but secretly relays all information
to his paymasters, the factory owners. He even fooled his Chacha Taufiq to
accept a far lower amount as gratuity after his retirement. His agreeable
nature and sweet demeanour makes him seem very trustworthy which he uses to his
advantage. He has splurged most of his ill-gotten income on his girlfriend
Alice whom he takes to fancy restaurants and expensive malls. He is also a
puppet of the partners of a major real estate development firm who pay him to
pretend to oppose them while slowly cornering all premium space in the chawl
with his help. In short, your son Abdul is highly corrupt and opportunistic.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Did I not say Abdul’s sweet demeanour is just
pretence? But he has crossed all limits and has turned out to be a bigger
player than I could ever imagine” Afzal muttered in exasperation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Abdul’s body language
remained defiant. “Just because I am born into a poor family does not mean I
have to stay poor for the rest of my life. I will do whatever it takes to lead
a good life and no one can come in my way, not even my family” he remarked
disdainfully and stormed out of the room. Afzal too slipped out of the room
without looking at his parents.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sultana stared blankly
at Mahoob. Nothing made sense to her anymore. A sense of a loss of innocence
was creeping into her. The shine in her eyes was dimming and her enthusiasm for
life was abating. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life was no longer
black and white as things could no longer be divided into good and bad. The men
in her life whom she believed to be as innocent as her turned out to be capable
of deceit, guile and cunning which were beyond her comprehension. The battles,
lust and greed of men was too much for her to handle.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mahboob tried to put up
a brave face even though he was highly distraught at the turn of
events which had transpired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At that
moment, Aamir the youngest son entered the room holding his stomach with both
hands to indicate his hunger. Aamir was considered the dullard of the house. He
hardly spoke as he seemed incapable of any complex human interaction and stayed
in a small corner of the house mostly glued to his cheap smartphone.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sultana looked at Aamir
with hope in her eyes. “Let me try my ring on Aamir. At least he will turn out
to be a good person.” She said pleadingly to Mahboob. “Sure, sweetheart. What
secrets can poor Aamir hold? His junior will go mute within two sentences”
replied Mahboob, not having the heart to refuse her request. Sultana
immediately swung into action and rubbed the ring perfunctorily. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A deep baritone voice began
to sing from the groin region of Aamir “Your youngest son Aamir has hidden from
you the fact that he is a highly knowledgeable person with genius level
intelligence. He is extremely proficient in subjects as diverse and
wide-ranging as Sociology, Astrophysics, Economics, Botany and Anatomy. He is
an author of many papers across these fields. His most important work “The
conclusive refutation of big bang theory” (Which is considered as the origin
point of the Universe, Aamir’s junior added as a sidenote for the benefit of
Sultana) was not even taken for consideration because of Aamir’s lack of
physics degree even though Aamir had backed with considerable evidence that the
Universe grew billions of years ago from the size of an atomic particle and
gradually kept growing in a slow and steady manner which is contrary to what
the big bang model proposes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Had this
evidence been proposed by someone with appropriate credentials, that person
would have been an easy candidate for the Nobel Prize because the evidence is
presented with scientific precision and mathematical elegance. His other
important work “The manifesting force of myths in development of civilizations”
was rejected by the Brahmins of the Social Science department because they did
not want to encourage a Muslim from a humble background. Aamir pretends to be a
good Muslim but secretly prefers the symmetrical verses of Bhagavadgita over
the profound wisdom of Quran. The only sexual act that Aamir has ever experienced
is when Zaira, his friend’s sister, put me in her mouth more out of pity than out
of any real attraction. He has also contemplated suicide many times since no
one has managed to understand him yet and he feels extremely lonely but his
intellectual pursuits have deterred him from committing the final act. I have
no more secrets to reveal”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As the revelation
ended, Aamir shrugged nonchalantly and proceeded to the small corner where he
could read important ideas in his cheap smartphone without being disturbed. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sultana felt completely exhausted by this time
and could feel the walls of tranquillity, which she had erected so carefully
over time, being breached and shattered in her mind. Nothing was the way it
seemed and everything was shrouded by illusion and secrecy. Even Aamir, whom
she believed to be straightforward, turned out to be deviously complex. He even
wanted to commit suicide!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
disillusionment of Sultana was complete. Fearing she would go insane if she was
dealt more truth, she closed her eyes to summon the genie mentally and implored
him to take his wretched ring back. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When
she opened her eyes, the ring had disappeared. Sanity prevailed thereafter.</span></div>
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Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-88700577621286431812019-12-10T22:32:00.004-08:002019-12-10T22:33:37.814-08:00Golden Girl<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">There was a palpable sense of excitement in the air as
nervous enthusiasm intermingled with pulsating energy. It was the first day of
college at Carmel College of Arts & Commerce; the most elite, prestigious
and renowned undergraduate college in Mumbai. It was no easy task to gain
entrance to this college. Students had to be exceptional in one way or the
other to make it to the hallowed grounds. Most students had made it on the
merit of academic scholarship and there were others who made it on the basis of
their accomplishments in sports, dramatics, music and other spheres of life. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">The first year students were the most nervous lot.
Even though Carmel College was too cultured to tolerate excessive ragging, many
students were tensed about fitting in with their peers and their seniors.
Everyone had a similar aim which was to be accepted, make good friends and be
popular. Many of the first years were also excited because it would be the
first time they would experience a co-ed atmosphere. The St. Mary’s Convent for
Girls and St Anthony’s school for Boys supplied the bulk of students to Carmel
mainly due to the emphasis on discipline.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">All the students had gathered around in a massive Gathering
Hall to hear the commencement speech which was to be given by Prof. Raj Khosla,
the Principal of the college. At first glance, the first year students were
enamoured by the charismatic personality and the elegant poise with which the
Professor carried himself. To the delight of the first year students, Prof. Khosla
made it very clear that Carmel College focused on developing a well rounded
personality of its students. Unlike other colleges which excessively focused on
academics and made life miserable for students, Carmel Philosophy incorporated
a holistic approach. Extra-curricular activities were as important as studies
in building the foundations for success in later life. The second and third
year students vehemently nodded in unison to show their agreement while the
first years were bursting into wide grins. They could not have expected a
better first day!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Among the first year students, four childhood friends
had already formed a small group at the back. There were high fives and fist
pumps all around in the group at the announcement given by Prof. Khosla. The
four friends Sunehri Malhotra, Ambuj Kothari, Farah Tyrewala, and Junaid Khan
had grown up together in the same apartment complex in Bandra. There was no
doubt that Sunehri was the magnetic centre of attraction within the group. She
was the glue that kept the four together. There was just something fascinating
about Sunehri.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">There was a hypnotic quality in Sunehri’s eyes that
would mesmerize people around her. Many boys in her colony had tried their luck
in initiating romance with Sunehri but other than Ambuj, she never had a deep
enough connection with any other boy. Though she could make friends with any
boy or girl in an instant, serious romance was something that eluded her. She
had a long list of boys who had been friend-zoned but that did not stop the
boys to constantly vie for her attention. It was as if a smile from her face
would light up their whole day. There was a majestic magnificence radiating
from her inner being.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Junaid and Farah had decided that they were the one
for each other ever since they were fifteen years old. Everyone in their
apartment and even people in their colony were aware that they were a couple. Farah’s
parents knew too and they completely approved the relationship as they liked
Junaid a lot. Yet Farah’s Ammi was slightly traditional and expected Farah to
follow some rules. No more than hand holding was allowed till they were 21 and
if ever Junaid tried to kiss Farah’s cheeks she was to immediately bring it to
the notice of her Ammi and Abbu. Boys of Junaid’s age need to be kept in a
tight leash lest they assert themselves too much, she warned. Farah put on her
most angelic expression and assured her Ammi Jaan that she will maintain all
propriety by keeping Junaid in check.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">It is the irony of contemporary era in New India that
parents are innocent and gullible while their children are street smart and
cunning. Farah’s Ammi would have been distraught if she ever discovered that
Farah was the assertive partner in the relationship while Junaid was coy and
docile. When Junaid was too hesitant to make the move towards their first kiss
at their apartment’s terrace, it was Farah who warned Junaid to stop doing time
pass as she did not have the whole day. Get on with the business, her dancing
eyes were expressing and make sure it’s memorable. Junaid did as he was told
with the thought that their first kiss better be special if he ever hoped to
win Farah’s heart for good.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Sunehri, on the other hand, tried to make up for her
lack of real romantic adventures with a vivid imagination. When she would get
too bored of studies, her mind would drift off into a pleasurable day-dream
about Ambuj. She would imagine that they were the only two survivors stranded on
a desert island. Ambuj would lift Sunehri with his muscular arms when she would
be too tired to walk and take her to a cozy fire-lit corner where they would
make out gloriously. Other times she would imagine that the two are travelling
the world in a cruise ship having amazing conversations with interesting people
from around the world. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Yet, she would wonder why she and Ambuj had not
seamlessly intertwined as a couple just like Farah and Junaid. It was obvious
that Ambuj cared for her the most and made her laugh all the time. Many times,
Sunehri was plagued with self doubt that maybe she was not as attractive as she
believed she was. Maybe the mirror was a lie, reflecting a different picture
which did not match true reality. But there was always a hope inside her, alive
and kicking, regarding Ambuj. Maybe Ambuj did not prefer displaying affection
as easily as she did.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">On the first day of college, the gang of four was
lucky to be placed in the same section, which was section C.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Harshad, who was well known to the gang as a
lighthearted prankster who always had a trick up his sleeves, had colorfully
named the class as ‘Sec C Stallions’ winking naughtily while emphasizing the
words ‘Sec C’. Harshad’s announcement met with wild approval from all his
classmates. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">The junior class was happy that the first week of
college had a light schedule so that students had time to orient themselves.
The college seniors had arranged for an icebreaking session at the college
auditorium where all juniors would introduce themselves and say something
interesting which would strike a chord with the seniors. It was in this
icebreaking session that Ambuj first noticed Shlok Mehta and excitedly pointed
him out to the rest of the gang.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Shlok had already developed a reputation in school as
a ‘Heartbreak Kid’. His extra-ordinary good looks and athletic personality had
girls swooning left, right and centre. The fact that his father was a big time
Real Estate tycoon immensely added to his charm. He was an intense loner who
hardly hung out in groups and he only travelled in a chauffeur driven Mercedes
during day time and rode a Hayabusa superbike by himself during night. He was
also a champion football player who had helped St Anthony’s win the
inter-school trophy. As soon as he entered the auditorium where the orientation
was taking place, time seem to have paused to allow everyone to soak in the
sight of Shlok. Even the seniors were impressed by the assured ease with which
Shlok carried himself as if he was a royal prince who deserved all the attention
showered on him. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Most of the girls at St Mary’s school had heard about
Shlok and his reputation but seeing him in person was even more enthralling. There
was intensity in his aloofness which went well with his personality. Junaid
felt a pang of unease as he saw Farah ogle at Shlok. Sunehri could not suppress
her giggles at the sight of Junaid’s visible discomfort. Sunehri found his
attempts at hiding his jealousy cute and funny. It seemed only Sunehri was
immune to the immense charm of Shlok. Hmmpf, what was so special about Shlok
she could not imagine. She thought he had an oafish expression as if he had
just been struck in his head with something heavy. She thought Ambuj would be
pleased to see Sunehri’s complete lack of interest in Shlok but Ambuj himself
was too busy being mesmerized by Shlok as if he was a celebrity film star. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">She looked around to see who else was as uninterested
as her and was happy to notice that the boy sitting right next to her seemed to
take no interest in being a part of Shlok’s fan club. She caught his eyes and
was startled to see a shining gleam in his eyes. He introduced himself as Nayan
Lakhanpal, who had come all the way from Lucknow to study at the esteemed Carmel
College. He shared to Sunehri that he was nervous at the prospect of talking in
English in front of such a huge audience as his English was weak. Sunehri was
touched by his polite demeanor and shyness and tried to make him feel better.
“Arre don’t worry; just speak in Hindi if that makes you comfortable. We are a
chill crowd you know. We don’t judge like that”. That brought a smile to
Nayan’s face and immediately decreased his anxiety.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">When Nayan’s turn came he conversed confidently in
Hindi and explained that he was a Poet and Musician with a ‘Sufiana Andaaz’. He
even sang a couple of lines from his own poetry which was a hit with the
audience. When he got back to his seat, he clasped Sunehri’s hand gratefully
and thanked her profusely for making him feel at ease. Sunehri instinctively
developed a liking for this old school kid who looked wise beyond his age. She
immediately introduced him to the rest of the gang who welcomed him warmly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Sunehri had a fondness for standup comedy and when her
time came to introduce herself she gamely entertained the crowd with a couple
of jokes that she had created herself. But the crowd was too busy appreciating
her enchanting beauty and hardly paid attention to her words. She got a raucous
applause from the audience more for her personality than for her jokes. She had
particularly created a great impression on Shlok, the only person she had
managed to dislike so far. Shlok could not take his eyes off Sunehri even after
she had resumed her seat. Sunehri’s beauty was unmatched and there was a depth
in her personality that he had never seen before. Farah had observed that Shlok
kept craning his neck back towards where Sunehri was seated. When she shared her
observation, Sunehri replied “That mannerless, uncouth oaf can go to hell for
all I care”. The next time Shlok craned his neck, Sunehri squinted both her
eyes and stuck her tongue out and gave him a scorching go away look. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">But that was not enough to shake Shlok off her tail.
He approached her after the session and gave her a friendly smile and tried to
strike a conversation. Sunehri saw a group of junior girls who were already
star-struck by Shlok and were looking at Sunehri with venomous envy for
catching Shlok’s fancy. Sunehri tried to shoo Shlok away but he was not to be
deterred. He was used to winning, and winning easily. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">“Have you heard about the ‘Mr and Miss Junior’ pageant
that the seniors are conducting?” Shlok said hoping for a long conversation.
“Of course I have. Who hasn’t” Sunehri interjected rudely. “Well, they don’t
need to take the trouble. They should just hand over the prize to us right away”
Shlok replied. “Don’t be so cocky, Mr. Shlok Mehta. There are far better
deserving people than you”. “Who is it Miss Sunehri Malhotra? Can you name even
one?” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">“Ambuj! He is way more beautiful as a person than you
can ever be” Sunehri instantly replied. Sunehri realized that she was being
more rude than necessary but she could not help it. Something about Shlok
repulsed her. Yet, the more caustic Sunehri was the more interested Shlok
became in her. Here, finally he had found a worthy girl who was not so easy to
catch. He loved the prospect of wooing a girl and winning her affections.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">“So do you think you are dating Ambuj?” Shlok asked
while making an unbelieving face. “Yes, I am!” Sunehri replied proudly and
vehemently. “But you are not his type Sunehri. I went to school with him, so I
know. Oh, you are so clueless, sweetheart. Catch you later” Shlok took his
leave with this cryptic remark. Sunehri was shocked by what she had heard. He
had caught her weak point and pinched her where it hurts the most. Her
relationship with Ambuj was not progressing beyond a point and Shlok had sensed
it somehow. His mocking words were ringing in her ears which prompted her to
run towards the canteen where Ambuj was hanging out with the rest of the gang
eating pakodas along with a steaming cup of chai. “Ambuj, I need to talk to you
alone” She remarked urgently. Ambuj knew that it was no use to argue with Sunehri
when she was in such mood.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Sunehri took Ambuj by his hands and placed him in an
empty classroom. She immediately confronted him about what Shlok had said.
Ambuj bowed his head and replied “I owe you an explanation, Sunehri. You mean
the world to me; I can do anything for you. But it’s true. You are not my type.
I did not mean to lead you on, but you took this romantic fancy towards me and
just ran away with it before I could explain”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">“What do you mean that I am not your type? What the
heck do you mean Ambuj? Am I not beautiful enough for you or not smart enough?”
Sunehri began to sob. She did not cry easily but now the dam was bursting and
overflowing. Ambuj wrapped her in his arms and consoled her “It’s not like
that, Sunehri. You are really amazing. It’s just that.. It’s just that I prefer
boys. But please, please keep this to yourself. There are many people in this
world who are yet to get out of medieval age. You have no idea how regressive
people can be” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">“What!” Sunehri exclaimed. “How did I never realize
this? We hung out with each other all the time. You could have told me at
least. Don’t you trust me?” For the first time ever there was bitterness in her
voice when speaking to Ambuj. She had placed him in a pedestal and had imagined
a future with him in such intricate detail. But all of that came crashing down
right in front of her. Now it was Ambuj’s turn to break down “You have no idea
what I have gone through Sunehri. My family is not liberal like yours. They
will never accept me for who I am. Do you know how I felt, when my own parents
reject people like me as freaks, as disgusting creatures who should be jailed?
You were the only person I wanted to talk to but you complicated things by
falling in love with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are my best
friend and yet I could not talk to you, just because I knew you would get
hysterical. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please try to understand. I
have enough on my plate and have suffered enough by keeping this bottled up
inside. I cannot reciprocate your love but I do genuinely believe we are
besties forever. Right?” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Sunehri melted completely at this outpouring of
emotions by Ambuj “I am so sorry for shouting Ambuj. Please forgive me. Your
pain is much greater than mine. Of course we are besties forever. I always
wanted a gay bestie and I had one right under my nose! You are really cool
Ambuj. I am sure your parents will understand. Give them some time, they will
eventually grow up and get matured enough to accept you.” She hugged Ambuj with
all her might as tears rolled down both their eyes. “But tell me one thing Ambuj;
how the fish did Shlok know about you. Is he actually smarter than he seems?” Ambuj
looked a little embarrassed and his cheeks were getting rosier by the second
“Actually, I have been crushing on him since forever. He must have noticed. Now
stop crying silly. Let’s go, Farah and Junaid are waiting for us” he started to
leave, wiping his own tears with a kerchief. “You carry on, Ambuj. I need some
alone time right now” replied Sunehri</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Sunehri had shown a brave face when Ambuj was around,
but as soon as Ambuj left, she completely broke down. Sunehri was a person who
felt things deeply and intensely. When she loved, she did it completely and her
love poured from every cell in her body. The shock that Ambuj did not feel the
same way towards her was too much for her to handle. As she sat crying alone in
the empty classroom, Nayan Lakhanpal noticed her while passing the corridors.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">“Sunehriji, what happened? You looked so happy just
like an hour back. Is everything alright?” Nayan asked. “Nothing happened,
Nayan. I just realized that the one love of my life, the perfect one, does not
love me. It was just a stupid one sided love affair from my side. It was all an
illusion.” “So what Sunehriji, the whole world is your oyster!” Nayan replied dramatically.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“When one door closes, another door opens!
So please stop this ‘Dil ke armaan aasuyo main behe gaye’ and smile! This
outdated tragic queen look does not suit you. Smile please. It’s really simple
Sunehriji. Just widen your lips and show your teeth. Like this” That managed to
crack Sunehri up as Nayan clownishly smiled and tried to show all his 32 teeth. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">“I will smile only if you stop adding ji-ji in the
end. Just call me Sunehri” She replied wiping her tears with her kerchief. “You
need more than one kerchief. Here, borrow mine too” said Nayan and like a
magician removed a kerchief from Sunehri’s ears. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sunehri was smiling more widely now. “Thanks
for cheering me up Nayan” “Please do not thank me Sunehri, you cheered me up at
the audi and I returned the favour in this empty classroom. Hisaab Baraabar”
There was a roguish charm about Nayan that could improve the spirits of the
dourest and sourest individual. Sunehri, the born optimist stood no chance. She
immediately felt a lot better and clasped Nayan’s hand in gratitude just like
he had in the auditorium. Along with their hands, their eyes connected and it
gave birth to Nayan’s great love for Sunehri.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">If Nayan was asked subsequently when did he fall in
love for the first time in his life, he would reply that it was the exact
moment when Sunehri clasped his hands. It felt like a great opening up of his
heart, as if someone had showed him a treasure chest of emotions for the first
time. Sunehri was the golden key that could unlock pathways to feelings he
never knew even existed. Once again Sunehri noticed a diamond like gleam in
Nayan’s eyes. She could not help remarking “Your eyes shine a lot, Nayan.”
Unfortunately, as soon as Nayan fell in love he suddenly started feeling tongue
tied. The emotions and feelings whirling inside were so overwhelming that he
could no longer produce coherent speech. “Th-thanks” he stammered awkwardly and
abruptly left the classroom and ran away from the person who could create such
intense turmoil inside.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Sunehri felt a lot better as she got up to leave the
empty classroom. Nayan’s charm had done the trick. It felt like a great burden
had been removed from her chest. The symptoms of shock still existed but it was
much more tolerable after Nayan’s cheering up session. Yes, there is so much to
look forward to. For example, the ‘Mr and Miss Junior’ title was up for grabs
and Sunehri would be out of the reckoning if she showed the attitude of someone
who had just come back from a funeral. The pageant was a week away and she
could win it if she played her cards right. There were three rounds. The
Costume Party where you could dress up as anyone or anything, the talent round
and finally the ramp walk.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">The winners, ‘Mr and Miss Junior’ would get to perform
a bollywood style dance as a tribute to the cult movie DDLJ and its video would
be uploaded in social media. As the college placed a lot of emphasis on art,
significant budget and talented seniors would be at disposal to work on the
project. Sunehri had always dreamed of performing to a throwback themed
bollywood dance and did not want to lose this golden opportunity. Being busy
would also help her in getting over the pain of love failure. She prepared a
plan to ensure her win.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">As expected, Shlok and Sunehri emerged as winners of
the pageant. But there were other highlights too. Harshad, the college clown,
had come in his underpants with just a few leaves covering his private parts.
Eventually, the Principal had to intervene as even parents had come to watch
the pageant. Harshad protested that he was wearing the costume of Tarzan and
should be permitted his costume. Only when Principal Khosla threatened Rustication,
did Harshad back down “Take a chill pill sir, you don’t need to use the R-Word
so easily.” he muttered under his breath. Nayan participated too and managed to
dazzle the audience with a beautiful piece of guitar work in the talent round.
Farah won the Miss Congeniality contest and Junaid seemed more proud of it than
even Farah herself. “Hey, Farah is my girlfriend by the way” he would tell with
a huge grin to anyone who would care to listen.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Sunehri was going through bittersweet emotions once
she was announced the ‘Miss Junior of Carmel College’. The rapturous applause
from the audience gave her an adrenaline rush that she would remember for a
long time. The prospect of the video performance was also something to look
forward to. The only dark cloud interloping the glorious sunshine was the fact
that she would have to perform with Shlok. It was told to all pageant
participants beforehand that the dance performance would include an intimate
romantic scene where the winners would kiss at the end of the video. The very
idea of kissing Shlok brought a pukish sensation in her stomach. She had never
really kissed anyone before. She had managed to peck Ambuj on the lips once but
that no longer counted in hindsight. It was as if life was turning out to be a
tragicomic parody with every passing moment. Her first kiss, the moment that
had previously filled her with such delicious anticipation, was turning out to
be a dud moment as it would be with Shlok. She would rather kiss a pig happily if
it meant she would not have to kiss Shlok. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">The verdant environment of the college park was chosen
as the setting for the shooting of the video. When the shooting started, Shlok
looked like a man on a mission. Sunehri had to admit that Shlok was a superb
dancer. Why does he have to be such an all-rounder? She wondered to herself.
After the scene was over, Shlok came eagerly towards Sunehri hoping for words
of approval. In spite of her aversion to Shlok, it brought a smile on her face.
Shlok’s expression reminded her of a street dog hoping for biscuits from
passersby. “You are just an average dancer Shlok, there is a huge scope for
improvement” she remarked. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">When have I learnt to lie through my teeth? She
thought to herself. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fact that
Sunehri had smiled was something that Shlok had observed like a hawk. Keep
smiling you beautiful angel, he thought to himself. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Finally, the moment that Sunehri was dreading was
about to arrive, the kissing scene. Sunehri almost wanted to back out of the
project but decided to stay seeing the hard work everyone had put on the
project. On the other hand, the kissing scene was the moment that Shlok was
waiting for the most. He could not stop smiling and seemed to be in the best of
spirits. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">“Eh, Chipku” Sunehri muttered to Shlok as they stood
facing each other “As soon as you hear ‘Cut’, you back off alright, or else get
ready for a nasty kick in your groin” she whispered threateningly. “Of course,
my good lady” Shlok replied, bowing his head and tipping a pretend hat in a
mock gentlemanly manner. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">And Actionnnnn! Shlok began to kiss Sunehri, and
before Sunehri could realize what was happening, wonderful music started to
play in her mind. Neither of them heard the cut signal which the director
shouted thrice before giving up to watch them kiss, the director could no
longer bear to interrupt something this beautiful. Everyone who was present
could not help but gape in amazement at what they were witnessing. It was truly
a magical moment which uplifted the spirits of everyone watching. Sunehri and
Shlok had seemingly melted into each other and kissed for what felt like an
eternity. Eventually, the kiss ended only when Sunehri lost her balance and
fell on the floor as her knees collapsed with pleasure. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Nothing had prepared Sunehri for this experience; the
sensual delights that erupted inside her as their lips converged, the
intoxicating rhythm of the music in her head, the soft delicate movements of
Shlok’s tongue merging with the movements of her own inexperienced tongue. Shlok
too had lost his footing and looked dazed but he was aware enough to offer his
hands to pick Sunehri up. Extremely embarrassed, Sunehri fled from the scene as
fast as she could.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Sunehri could not make sense of what had just
happened. All she knew was that she had just experienced paradise. As she sat
in the taxi which was carrying her back home, she suddenly remembered the words
of Nayan “When one door closes, another door opens”. Even in her wildest imagination,
Sunehri had not contemplated even for a second that Shlok would be the one who
would open the doors! The doors of love; it was love which was flowing within
her with an unbridled passion, for the one who had opened the doors. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">She felt an inexplicable longing for Shlok with an
intensity that took her by surprise. She tried to recall the minutest details of
what she had gone through during the kiss. All the prior dislike she felt for
Shlok was a relic of a distant past and even seemed silly in retrospect. All
she could now remember was the surreal journey that Shlok had led her towards. The
kiss had changed everything. It was something more than just sensual or erotic.
The experience with Shlok had touched the deepest core of her soul.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">“Calm down, young woman. Relax. Take a deep breath and
get back to reality.” A calm voice had emerged inside Sunehri’s head. “It’s
just a kiss. No big deal”. A part of her, the emotional one, wanted to keep
going back to the moment of the kiss; while the logical part of her kept trying
to steer her away from it. For the time being, logic prevailed as she was just
about to enter her flat. She could not afford to look like she was high on
drugs in front of her parents. She had never taken drugs before but she now had
an idea what it felt like.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">The next day as Sunehri woke up; she could not wait to
go to college. To meet up with Shlok and talk to him about the previous
evening’s experience. She now understood why so many people went gaga about
Shlok. Sunehri felt a glow of happiness as everything around her seemed more
beautiful and colourful. Her heart was beating faster and she felt the proverbial
butterflies in her stomach. As she waited for him near the college entrance, she
was counting the minutes and even the seconds as any moment, Shlok would arrive
to college. And there he was; he had arrived. She flashed the brightest smile
that her face could offer as he walked towards her. Shlok acknowledged her with
a curt nod and walked past her as if she was just another member of his fan
club. “Hold on Shlok, wait. We need to talk” she shouted. Sunehri half expected
Shlok to keep walking away and ignore her. But Shlok hesitated and walked back
reluctantly towards her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Sunehri had by now realized that they were operating on
two different wavelengths. The roles had been reversed. She was no longer
pursued by him. “Yeah, so about yesterday” Shlok drawled to Sunehri as if he
really wanted to be somewhere else. “Whatever it was that happened between the
two of us, just forget about it alright Sunehri”. “Forget about it? What do you
mean forget about it? Don’t you want to at least talk about it?” Sunehri tried
not to sound pleading. She was stronger than that. “There is nothing to discuss
about Sunehri. The shoot is over. Everything is over. Please do not pursue me
like the others. I have better things to do than indulge in a romance.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">“Why are you acting like this Shlok, this sudden
change towards me?” Sunehri said, trying to keep her out of control emotions in
check. “Is it because the thrill is in the chase? Now that the chase is over,
there is no thrill. Is that what you seek, Shlok? You chase me as long as I am
not interested and as soon as I do get interested, you begin to ignore me. So,
all I am is just another notch in your belt, right?” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">“That’s right, Sunehri. As soon as you flashed that
smile today, you became boring. As you said, the thrill is in the chase. So as
this chase is now officially over, please do not bother me again”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“But Shlok,
what about the kiss? Did it mean nothing to you? Answer this one last thing and
I will never bother you again?” Sunehri hated the sound of pleading in her
voice. She was now on the verge of crying but she willed herself to not cry.
Shlok could not be allowed to break her. She was raised better than that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Shlok hesitated before answering. He found it
difficult to look her in the eye but finally managed to maintain eye contact. “I
will be honest with you Sunehri. I was being mean to you on purpose right now,
but even I am emotionally impacted as much as you are. Just like you, the kiss
shook me to the core. I could not sleep the whole night. Yesterday, for the
first time in my life I felt I am in love. You managed to penetrate all my
defenses and made me vulnerable. But I do not want to feel vulnerable or
fragile. Not know. Not ever. I do not allow anyone to get too close to me. My
life is not a fairy tale like how others believe it to be. My parents are
separating. My life is a mess and love will only make it messier. I just want
to be left alone as I always have been all my life. Stay away from me Sunehri.
You deserve better than me. And I deserve to be alone” Shlok gave her one last
look of longing and started to leave.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Sunehri could not believe what was happening. No one
deserved to be alone, especially someone like Shlok who was too complex for his
own good. She could not allow him to leave a good thing that was beginning to
develop between them. She tried to stop him. “Don’t walk away Shlok. I am
giving you one last chance. If you walk away, you lose me forever. And remember,
I am the one person who sees you for who you are beyond your looks, body or
wealth. And even though you are the weirdest person I have ever met, I like you
for who you really are” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">“I like you too. In fact, I love you. But love is the one
thing that scares me the most. It’s better for both of us if I walk away.
Goodbye Sunehri”. And he walked away. Because he truly believed that he
deserved to be alone and unloved. Sunehri bowed her head down in sorrow. In a
strange way, she understood why Shlok had walked away. She wished he had stayed
and allowed love to take its course. But in Shlok’s complicated mind, love was
much more dangerous than loneliness. In his own weird way, giving up on love
was his path to liberation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Sunehri shrugged her shoulders and proceeded towards
her class to meet her friends. The gang of four had been extended to five with
the inclusion of Nayan who had finally regained speech in front of Sunehri. Her
friends began to notice a change in Sunehri as she had become quieter and paler
after Shlok had walked away. Concerned by the change, Nayan and Ambuj went to
meet Sunehri at her home late in the evening. Sunehri’s mother was also worried
as Sunehri had completely lost her appetite. When Sunehri again refused to eat
when her friends came to visit, Nayan took matters in his own hands by feeding
her Roti Sabzi himself. As usual, it was difficult for Sunehri to refuse Nayan
when he turned on his charm. To make Sunehri feel better, Ambuj suggested that
they visit a nightclub and dance away her sorrows as she was really fond of
dancing and music. Sunehri initially refused, but she reluctantly agreed when Ambuj
and Nayan insisted.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">As soon as they entered the nightclub, Ambuj handed
Sunehri a glass of wine. “Cheer up girl. Here, this will help raise your
spirits” he told her with a wink. Sunehri immediately started feeling better after
a drink and in spite of everything, her mood was improving. She started swaying
to the groovy tunes that was being played by the DJ. She instantly became the
center of attraction as she was a very talented dancer. She had an innate grasp
of music and dancing came very naturally to her. After the party was over,
Sunehri felt lucky to have friends who cared.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Seeing Sunehri’s interest in music, Nayan began to
share with her the music he had composed and asked her feedback. The lyrics of
his songs had a common theme; it was about the poet’s great love for his
‘Mashooqa’. But his beloved who was unaware of the poet’s love had fallen in
love with someone else. All the lines flowed from Nayan’s heart and soul as the
lyrics were inspired by the feelings that Sunehri generated in him. But when he
was questioned about his Mashooqa, Nayan pretended she lived in Lucknow and
refused to share her name or details. One evening, he suggested to Sunehri that
she sing the lyrics that were to be delivered by the Mashooqa in the poem. She
was hesitant as she had no prior experience in singing but as usual, Nayan
managed to cajole and convince her to sing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">When Sunehri started singing, Nayan was blown away by
the quality of Sunehri’s voice. Even though her voice was untrained it was
incredibly melodious. Nayan had been looking for the right ingredient to
complete his songs. Now his songs felt complete. “You are a freaking sensation
Sunehri. Where were you hiding that voice all along?” Sunehri immediately
brightened up after hearing the pleasant compliments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After Shlok, she was beginning to go into a
shell but it was Nayan and his music which was bringing her out of it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Even Sunehri was impressed with how the songs were
turning out. She decided that they were good enough to be recorded in a music
studio and then released on social media. Nayan and Sunehri shared the studio
expenses and worked on fine-tuning their songs. Sunehri suggested that only the
audio should be released as making a video would be too cumbersome. But Nayan
was vehement that they should make the video too. “Sunehri, why waste the immense
beauty that God has gifted to you. We have to capture it on video”. Sunehri
felt herself blushing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">A total of six songs had been composed and recorded as
audio, out of which the best one had been made into a video with Sunehri
starring in it. Ambuj and Junaid who were handy with camerawork and Farah who
was good at Editing contributed to the video-making process. The gang was
hopeful that it would be well received by the public. They had put their heart
and soul in making the video.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">After a hard day’s work of recording, shooting and
editing; Sunehri and Nayan were spending some time in the canteen and enjoying
a well deserved break. The two had gotten closer over time, and a deep
friendship was developing between them. Sunehri felt a powerful feeling stirring
within when she was around Nayan but it was a feeling she was not ready to
acknowledge. Sunehri knew how deeply Nayan felt for his ‘Mashooqa’ and did not
want to trespass on Nayan’s emotions. Sunehri decided that she wanted to know
more of this mysterious ‘Mashooqa’ who was the source of such brilliance in
Nayan and inspired such beautiful creation of music. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Nayan smiled at the paradox, Sunehri wanting to know
about ‘Mashooqa’! How he wished to bare his heart out and proclaim the deep
emotions that he felt for Sunehri.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
wanted to explain to her about how he felt more alive, energetic and happy
whenever he was around Sunehri. That ‘Mashooqa’ was none other than Sunehri. But
as luck would have it, Nayan suffered from a profound sense of self-doubt. He
felt deep inside that he was not good enough for Sunehri, that she was too good
for him. She was too beautiful, too intelligent and too classy for him. And now
Sunehri wanted to know more about his ‘Mashooqa’.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">What could Nayan say? He began describing the
qualities of Sunehri to Sunehri herself. The more Nayan described his Mashooqa,
the more despondent Sunehri became. “I wish someone loved me as much as you
love your Mashooqa, Nayan. But all I have in my destiny is rejection and
abandonment. I have such an infinite capacity to love but no one wants to like
me, let alone love me. Your Mashooqa is lucky that someone has such intense
emotions for her”. It was at that moment that Nayan decided that he would
reveal his feelings for Sunehri. He was sure that Sunehri would be delighted to
know that she was the very ‘Mashooqa’ whom she envied so much. He did not mind
getting rejected as long as it brought a smile to Sunehri’s face. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">But just as Nayan was about to reveal the true nature
of ‘Mashooqa’, they were joined by the rest of the gang and Nayan lost his
opportunity. The rest had brought their laptops and had a look of excitement in
their faces. The editing process was complete and now the video was ready to be
shown to the world. Sunehri pressed the enter button to simultaneously upload
and broadcast the video in YouTube, Instagram and Facebook. The gang looked at
each other with pride and happiness, confident that their efforts would be
appreciated.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">The response to the video was better than anyone’s
expectation and the reactions were phenomenal. It was catching on like wildfire
and people from all over the country were transfixed by the video. Sunehri’s
beauty as well as her soulful voice and Nayan’s magical composition turned out
to be a winning combination and took the internet world by storm. The video had
notched up more than a million views within a span of two weeks. Everyone in
college were now recognizing Sunehri and appreciating her talent. Even Nayan
was getting his fair share of recognition for his composition and lyrics. He
was not used to being the centre of attraction as he preferred being in the
background and let others hog the limelight. But when musically inclined people
in the campus recognized him and shook his hands, the shine in Nayan’s eyes got
even brighter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">The making of the video and its subsequent success had
made Sunehri and Nayan inseparable. They began to spend more and more time
together. They needed the slightest excuse to meet each other alone which even
prompted Farah to ask Sunehri if she was dating Nayan. Sunehri just smiled and
informed her that they were just really good friends. For Sunehri, the past wounds
had not completely healed. Love just seemed to jinx everything and desecrate
the emotions that she held sacred. Again her vivid imagination was activated to
assuage the void she felt inside. As she would lie in her bed, preparing to go
to sleep, she would imagine that she was Nayan’s ‘Mashooqa’, his beloved, and
not some random girl in Lucknow. Just the thought that she was the inspiration
for Nayan’s rhapsodies gave her goosebumps and produced within her electrifying
sensations of delight which she found very difficult to shake off.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">For Nayan, hanging out with Sunehri itself felt
magical and powerful. He could listen for hours as Sunehri shared everything
about her life. The expressions of her beautiful face and the soft looks of her
innocent eyes could hypnotize him and put him in a state of profound satisfaction.
He no longer wanted to reveal to Sunehri that she was the ‘Mashooqa’, his
beloved, and not some random girl in Lucknow. He was scared that revealing it
would drive her away from him and he would lose her friendship that he
cherished so much.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">After the first term was over, Principal Khosla
announced that the college would organize a trip to resorts in Manali so that
students could unwind, relax and release the tensions which accumulated during
exams. Farah and Junaid could not hide their excitement as this news came out on
the notice board. There could not be a more enchanting place to further explore
their romance than the scenic foothills of Himalayas. The trip would last a
week, and most students of Carmel would be taking the trip including Shlok, Sunehri
and Nayan. Ambuj had to miss out as he would be vacationing to Europe with his
family during the same time as the trip.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">As the college students reached Manali, the whole mass
of students got divided into smaller groups. Within the gang, the two lovebirds
Farah and Junaid cocooned themselves away from the world while Sunehri and
Nayan stuck to each other like glue. There was something in the mountainous air
of Manali that made Sunehri and Nayan even more joyful in each other’s company.
After a tiring day of games, fun and frolic the two sat around the fireside
holding hands and snuggling up to each other as closely as two friends would.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">The radiance of the joy that was emanating between
them could not seem to contain itself. Shlok, who was nearby caught a whiff of
it and was mysteriously drawn to the fireside where Nayan and Sunehri were
sitting and watched them slyly from a distance. Seeing them together, Shlok
could no longer suppress the feelings that were bursting inside his heart.
After he had walked away from Sunehri, he had continued his string of
meaningless and pointless relationships. But now that he had experienced
something deep and real with Sunehri, everything and everyone else felt vapid
and artificial.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The sight of Sunehri and
Nayan so close together made his heart burn with jealousy, which was a feeling
he had rarely experienced before. He realized that he could not digest Sunehri
being with anyone else. A rage was building up within Shlok and was almost
reaching the point of explosion when to his relief Sunehri got up and bid Nayan
goodbye. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Shlok followed Sunehri to her bedroom and seemed
hesitant and confused about knocking on her doors. The confidence and swagger
that he was well known for was deserting him at this crucial time. He finally
mustered his guts and knocked on Sunehri’s bedroom. Sunehri quickly opened the
doors expecting that Farah, who was her roommate in the resort, was back. She
gasped with surprise when she saw it was Shlok. She quickly steadied herself
and asked Shlok the reason for visiting her. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A barrage of pleas, explanations and
proclamations of undying love streamed forth from Shlok’s mouth as he held
Sunehri’s hands. Sunehri’s head was reeling as a mixed set of emotions began to
engulf her. She could sense how strongly Shlok felt about her.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Shlok had not been the only one who had been
suppressing emotions. All this while, Sunehri had tried to keep at bay the
flood of emotions she felt whenever she remembered the kiss. Shlok had walked
away and there was no point harking back to the kiss that changed everything.
But now that Shlok had suddenly turned up at her doorsteps pleading for her
love, it felt like someone had turned on the tap of emotions. All the feelings
and emotions that had been kept locked leapt forth as if a caged wild animal
had just been freed. Noticing that Sunehri was reacting positively, Shlok
stopped groveling and became more of his charming and suave self. He had been
scared that Sunehri would not respond to his display of love but the look in
Sunehri’s eyes showed that she was totally smitten by him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">As Sunehri looked deeply into Shlok’s eyes; she was
completely swept by the torrential flow of her emotions. The unbridled passion
that the kiss had ignited was re-emerging with a force that was ferocious. She
recollected the divine rhythm in her mind that Shlok’s lips had composed and
she wanted to re-live it yet again. And so did Shlok. He took Sunehri by her
arms and drew her closer. Just as Shlok was about to kiss her, Sunehri was
struck by an intense flash of clarity: The image of Nayan’s smiling face
suddenly etched itself in Sunehri’s mind. Before Shlok could kiss her, she
backed off and pushed him away. Shlok stood dumbfounded by her behavior. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Sunehri broke into a wide smile as she realized the
magnitude of what she had done. She had incredibly resisted the irresistible.
“Don’t get me wrong Shlok. This is nothing personal. In fact I want to thank
you.” Sunehri said excitedly by way of explanation. “All this time, I was
shying away from the truth but when you were about to kiss me I realized how
badly I want to be with Nayan. You can imagine my love for him by the fact that
I am refusing you, the guy who blew my mind away and swept me off my feet! Thanks
for everything once again. Goodbye Shlok.” Sunehri hugged him warmly and kissed
him on the cheeks before turning her back on him. She hurriedly left her room with
a determined sense of purpose in her strides.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In a strange way, Shlok understood why Sunehri had walked away. He was
only glad that he had lost her to a worthy person. There was no shame in losing
out to a more deserving opponent. Shlok was no sore loser. If Sunehri would be
happier with Nayan, who was he to complain? He shrugged his shoulders and
returned to his own room, defeated but not dejected.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">As Sunehri was rushing towards Nayan’s room she
realized winning Nayan’s love would not be that easy. There was that stupid
‘Mashooqa’ to contend with. “Mashooqa ki aisi ki taisi. Nayan should not care a
rat’s ass for someone like that silly ‘Mashooqa’ who fell in love with someone
else.” She concluded to herself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
confidently reached up to Nayan’s room and knocked on his doorsteps. A bleary
eyed Nayan opened the door, looking like someone who had been woken up from deep
slumber. Once he saw it was Sunehri, he immediately brightened up and welcomed
her inside his room. As soon as Sunehri sat on the chair, she directed the most
colourful curses and abuses that were available at her disposal and aimed them
at the Lucknawi Memsaab ‘The Mashooqa’. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Noticing the irony of the situation, Nayan immediately
shushed her “Sssh Sunehri. Stop cursing her. I love her.” “And I love you
Nayan” Sunehri replied passionately. “I love you from the bottom of my heart. I
can understand if you choose your ‘Mashooqa’ over me. It was wrong of me to
abuse her. But I could not help it. I really do love you” </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Finally, Nayan connected the dots as he saw Sunehri
looking at him doe-eyed with love immeasurable in its capacity. Just like the
moment when his great love had first struck him, Sunehri’s look of forlorn love
left him too overwhelmed for words. He was feeling tongue tied and incapable of
speech yet again. He pointed his fingers at Sunehri and somehow gurgled out the
words “You are Mashooqa. Always.” At hearing these words, it was Sunehri’s turn
to connect the dots. “Ohh. I am Mashooqa!!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sunehri exclaimed and broke into uncontrollable peals of laughter with
tears of joy raining down her cheeks. With regards to Nayan, words have not
been invented yet to describe what he felt at that moment. It would be an
injustice to even attempt to explain it. Suffice it to say, the shine that gleamed
from his eyes was enough to illuminate the darkest corners of earth. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Sunehri’s laughter of joy eventually abated after a
considerable amount of time. She crashed into Nayan’s waiting arms and kissed
him with a feverish fervor. As they embraced, it would not be an overstatement to
say that their souls merged into one. An eternal, everlasting and timeless love
had found its home. </span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Written by
Smiran Bhandari</span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Email:
smiranb@gmail.com<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b></div>
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</div>
Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-7445394095775346372016-12-07T22:14:00.002-08:002017-10-12T10:08:09.497-07:00Happen Stance<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I was an agnostic all my life. I just could not believe things that I had not seen or experienced myself. Some people I knew were militant atheists. These people were quite certain that God did not exist and they mocked anyone who believed in God. But there was something about the extreme certainty about God's non existence that Atheists subscribed to which bothered me. I did not believe in God because I had not met one but there was no way I could rule out the possibility.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">God's existence was a concept that fascinated me as I saw more of life. I wanted God to exist but I had a sinking feeling that there were no such thing. Living beings existing on Earth looked like it was just a random occurrence. Our placement on Earth seemed to have no divine connection. But just when I was coming to terms with my inner conflict about God, I came into contact with a person who would reignite my fascination with the Divine subject.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At first, it seemed remarkable to me that such a brilliant person would even contemplate befriending a common person like me. He was one of the most sough after intellectuals in the world with a plethora of achievements to his name. He had made the most of life. Money, fame, intellect, success; he had it all. Though I was not doing too badly myself, there was very less chance someone like him would ever seek out someone like me for company. But that is exactly what happened.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was a crowded restaurant and I was sitting alone at my table minding my own business. Just when I was about to leave, he tapped me on my shoulder and asked me if he could sit next to me as there was no place available. I was only too happy to oblige. And then we struck a conversation. I was immediately impressed with his erudition, wit, humour, intellect and sagely wisdom. Two hours flew by and there we were discussing the finer details of anything and everything. I was lucky that I was taken by surprise. If I was prepared I would have been too inhibited to even blurt out two sentences properly.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As fate would have it, he had enjoyed my company very much. There was a glimmer in his eyes as we parted company. We decided to meet again as soon as his busy schedule permitted. A few months later, I got a call from him regarding meeting again and I jumped at the opportunity. Even though he had scheduled only for an hour we ended up talking for four hours. As were about to part, I decided to ask him a question whose answer would change my life. I asked him "So what do you think about God? Do you think the chap exists?" "Ofcourse God exists. I have even met God" he replied smilingly and walked away</span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The
next few weeks I was obsessed with that revelation. My friend was a highly
intelligent person, infact the most intelligent person I ever encountered. And he
said he had met God! That shook the very core of my existence. I could think of nothing else. Of course, there was an off chance that he had meant it as a joke but I knew it in my bones that he was not kidding. I decided to pursue the matter further by inviting him for another meeting. We met and discussed as usual. I had kept this issue for last and when we were about to depart I asked him what he had meant about meeting God. I expected him to be his jovial self while replying to the question. Instead, his discomfort was readily apparent. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">After much cajoling and prodding, he told me "If you really want to experience God, then wish for it with your entire heart and soul. If you are worthy, you will have your wish fulfilled." With those cryptic words, he departed. We were never to meet again as his work took him to another city but the memories of his ready warmth, generosity and friendship stayed with me.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I had failed to make head or tail about his proclamation regarding experiencing God. It did not provide a practical protocol which I could easily follow. I just needed to wholeheartedly remember God and somehow if I was worthy, God might emerge. It reminded me of holy religious scriptures wherein a form of God would appear before true devotees. This approach did not seem too likely to work. Nevertheless, out of respect for my friend's intellect, I followed his suggestion with utmost sincerity. Every day for the subsequent three months, I meditated for hours at end wishing to experience God first hand.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Some times I would go to a park near my home where I would close my eyes and embark on my meditative journey. After one such meditation session, I slowly opened my eyes and right in front of me was a gentleman observing me intently. I had never seen him before but there was a powerful vibration around him which was immediately noteworthy. He had sharp features and a radiant countenance. He also looked like he was from another country. "Do you wish to meet God" he asked. "Yes" I muttered, quite astonished with the turn of events. "Then come with me. If you are lucky you may experience divinity"</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It all seemed too surreal to me. I pinched myself to check if I was dreaming. But the pain from the pinch suggested otherwise. He took me to a nearby hotel which was exceedingly glitzy and posh. I did not know what to expect anymore. I was curious to know more about the Gentleman who had led me to the hotel. He turned out to be a European politician who had a highly distinguished and accomplished career. He had even been the Finance Minister of one of the smaller countries in Europe. I was wondering what I was doing with a person of such stature. It all felt like an unreal fairy tale.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"So are you ready to meet the all knowing and all seeing Supreme Lord." he asked with an eager look in his eyes.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Yes. Absolutely" I said with conviction as his enthusiasm was highly contagious. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Moments later we were joined by another person whose name I never got to know. I named him "The Worrier" in my head as he had three parallel worry lines on his forehead which was marring his otherwise good looking face. The three of us proceeded to the hotel's restaurant where we sat in a rather private corner. The worrier was looking at me rather appraisingly as if he was sizing me up. I decided to return the favour and observed him carefully. The first thing I noticed was that he seemed highly disturbed about something and was looking furtively at the European gentleman. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"What does God want me to do?" he asked the European</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I don't know" was the reply.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Just tell me what am I supposed to do?"</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I really don't know"</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The worrier gave a defeated sigh at that reply and went back to appraising me.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"What about him?" he asked pointing at him.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"We need to fix up a meeting between him and the Supreme Lord" said the European matter of factly.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"But you are the messenger of God. You decide"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"No. Since he is from your country, you have the honour"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The worrier looked at me with a grin and responded "The meeting will happen at an appropriate time and place. I will reach out to you when you are ready". With those words he led me out of the hotel and waved a silent goodbye. He then proceeded to join the European at the restaurant. I stood at the exit of the hotel not knowing what struck me. The meeting had ended as abruptly as it had started. I was flummoxed and perplexed like I had never been before.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It has been seven years since that incident and I have not been contacted by either God or his messengers. But I have hope in my heart that the parting words of the worrier will come true. I know it in my bones that he meant them. </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">All said and done, the incredible turn of events that
I experienced left an indelible impression on me. The experience transformed me
from a sceptical cynic into a firm believer. It convinced me of the existence
of a Supreme Force which is All-Pervasive and All-Powerful. </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-74069724039415413922014-09-23T20:45:00.002-07:002023-07-22T01:33:39.027-07:00A change of life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Kris was
staring at his glass of whisky quite intently, the golden liquid that had
changed his life. It had made him a miserable and pauper lout from the decent
person that he used to be. He had known many people who had ruined their lives
because of alcohol but they were all alcoholics who had abused their poison.
His case was a strange one as he knew no one else who had suffered like him. He
was a victim to a strange affliction caused by alcohol. It caused a disorder
that nobody could believe or understand. Alcohol would randomly trigger such
psychological effects in Kris that it would change him as a person. It would
drastically alter his personality in such a way that he would become a
different person after the attack. He would retain no resemblance to the person
that he used to be. The only aspect that remained with him was his memories. He
had been four different personalities in his lifetime. Four totally different
lives. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">And today he
was drinking so that he could change yet again because his current personality
was the worst. He could no longer face his life as he had lost everything. Now,
the only option left with him was to change and the only way he could do it was
to trigger the attack deliberately. He had been drinking every day for the past
ten days in the hope that it would lead to an attack. So far, it had eluded him
but he had a feeling that today would be the day it would strike him. He had a
feeling in his gut that at the end of the day he would be a changed man. And
this time hopefully, for the better. He poured himself a fourth glass of cheap whisky,
the only kind he could afford, and waited patiently for the magic to unfold. As
he was drinking, he started reminiscing about what he used to be and what he
had become. He could vividly remember the night the first attack had hit him.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">It was five
years back, on the night of a friend’s birthday. Then, he was twenty six and
happy and was leading a quiet life with a well established business of
distributing pharmaceutical medicines in his hometown Bombay. It earned him
enough to lead a comfortable lifestyle if not a lavish one. He was devoted to
his cute wife, Martha, who in-turn loved him and cared for him genuinely. He
would always joke that their two individual souls had fused into one
intertwined unit; such was the power of their love. He was respectful to people
and generally followed rules as long as it made sense. That time, everyone
liked him as he had a soft and endearing personality. He used to drink
moderately and only during social occasions. On the fateful night, he
remembered he was having a glass of Scotch and was enjoying the celebrations
around him when he suddenly felt giddy. He excused himself and sped to the
spare room at his friend’s place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">As soon as he
lied down on the bed he knew he was in trouble. He could hear sirens all around
and everything was spinning around him. He closed his eyes and felt that he was
transported into some sort of a nightmare. He was visualizing things he had
never seen before. Colourful images of ghost-like creatures which were
constantly rotating. His past life was moving in front of him in fast motion
and there were constant noises of ambulance sirens which seemed to be very near
to the room. Then, all of a sudden, things slowed down significantly and he was
facing some sort of a countdown. He could see two distinct images in his visual
imagination. One image was plain dark which </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">would</span><span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"> sometimes
change into faces of his loved ones. The other image was a swirling collection
of colours. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">As moments
passed, the colours started overpowering the plain dark image and slowly and
steadily the plain dark images were reducing. The colours were dominating his
visual screen and as soon as the colours completely covered the screen, the
sirens started again. The colours started rotating in his mind. First, slowly
and then the pace increased as each moment passed. Kris eventually fell asleep
as the rotation and the sirens subsided.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">He woke up the
next morning when his friend shook him up and greeted him with a knowing smile
as if understanding the after-effects of drinking too much. Kris was still
disoriented after the previous night and quickly excused himself to leave for
home. He could not wait to reach home and make sense of last night. He was
noticing that his hands were shaking while he was driving his car. He did not instantly
realize that he had changed as a person. But over time, he started realizing
that the night had altered him in a fundamental way. He had stopped taking care
of his business. His wife was filing for divorce proceedings as he had turned
violent on her which he had never done before. His friends were deserting him
as he had developed a fiery temper. He also became a more charitable person as
he started distributing cash to the first needy person he met. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">He informed
his parents that he was quitting his business as he no longer had any
inclinations for it. His parents attributed his change to the divorce and they
felt that the trauma of separation was affecting him severely and thus were
supportive of his decision. After a month of staying with his parents, he
decided to become a canvas painter. He felt urges to convert the images that he
could see in his head into the canvas. Following his natural instincts, he
bought himself a canvas and painting tools. He had never done serious painting
before and the new experience was exhilarating. He painted half a dozen
paintings in no time and was getting recognition of his talent whenever he
displayed his paintings to others. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">After six
months of the first attack, he took stock of the situation. He knew that things
had changed after the incident but he was not able to pinpoint alcohol as the
trigger. He was leading a different life in the past six months as he had
become a different person. He was noticing the minute and not so minute changes
in his personality. Before, he was a very tidy person who wanted things at its
place. After, everything in his room had become a mess. Before, he liked simple
movies with simple messages whereas after he no longer enjoyed such movies and
preferred complex and abstract movies. Before, he loved chocolate. After, he
detested it. There were more than hundred traits that had changed after the
attack. Before, he seldom experienced sadness. After, he was seldom
experiencing happiness.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">On the whole,
he felt that his life had taken a turn for the worse as the separation from his
wife had left a huge vacuum in his life. He could not fathom how he could get
aggressive with the person whom he cherished the most. He was yet to completely
come to grips with the overwhelming changes in his personality as he changed in
the most fundamental of ways. The only aspect that provided comfort to him was
his paintings. The reviews provided by other artists were mostly positive. They
criticized the lack of technical knowledge but without exception everyone
realized his talent with colours. He could add dimensions to colours and create
visuals that would leave people open-mouthed with delight. His paintings were
now the only area of his life that kept him going.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">He had also
started drinking more regularly as he believed alcohol provided him inspiration
for his paintings. One day, while he was having a drink alone at home, the
attack struck him again. He looked at the glass of whisky and finally made the
connection that it was alcohol which triggered his attacks. As the attack was
engulfing him, he understood that only alcohol could have been the catalytic
trigger which could change him instantly. He crisscrossed his way to the room
and fell into the bed with a thud. The nightmare had begun. This time, the attack
was even worse than the previous one. He felt that he was falling down deep
into a never ending abyss and was virtually hoping for a crash. Strange music
was playing inside his head, a hypnotic rhythm which kept repeating itself.
Suddenly the music stopped and a scream started as if his subconscious was
ringing the alarm bells. The scream kept increasing its intensity until he felt
his head would explode. The nightmare lasted for more than an hour until he
finally fell asleep.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">The next
morning when he woke up, he was a changed man. His thought process had changed.
His perspective had altered from the previous night. His focus was distorted
and his observational skills were diminished. He also felt more relaxed and the
rate of his heartbeat was also perceptibly slower from his previous avatar. At
first, Kris did not realize the change in his personality. But after a few
weeks, he slowly started realizing the deep and structural changes that he was
going through as a human being. After the attack, his paintings skills had
completely vanished. He was painting like a ten year old with no propensity to
wield the brush. It all hit him at once. He was first shattered that he had
lost the ability to paint and later he slowly started piecing together the
jigsaw puzzle. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Finally, he
pieced together the facts and realizations and understood that the attacks post
drinking were causing him to change as a person. He promised himself that he
would never drink again. But by this time, he was feeling completely depressed.
His well-wishers, especially his parents, were wondering how a capable person
like him had morphed into a crazy ball of despair. After his initial display of
painting prowess, he was hoping that it would help him sustain his life while
providing a channel for his suffering. Now all hopes seemed lost. For around 6
months, he was completely unproductive. He had stopped talking to people, slept
for around fourteen hours every day, and whiled away his time watching TV,
mostly cartoons. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Kris’ parents
were extremely concerned about the mental state of their child. In fact, even
Kris’ father was falling into depression after seeing his son’s deterioration.
The only person who managed to keep the atmosphere lively was Kris’ mother. She
was always looking for ways to cheer up her husband and son. One evening, she
prepared Apple cake for his son as she thought it was his favourite. She went
into his room and lovingly fed him the cake with her own hands. Kris, no longer
liked Apple cake as his preferences had changed since the last attack, but his
eyes welled up with tears as he ate the cake. His mother carefully wiped his
tears and hugged him for what seemed like an eternity. Kris suddenly felt a
surge of power and energy by the affection shown to him by his mother. It was
an act of unconditional love that mothers are known for universally. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">At that
moment, he decided that he would stop disappointing his loved ones and would
start providing a direction to his life. He took the classified sections of the
newspaper and carefully scrolled his eyes for a job opening in the
advertisement section. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">He
concentrated for half an hour but he could not seem to find a job of his
liking. Finally something caught his eyes. It was an ad for a land sale. He
instinctively felt that he should pursue this opportunity. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">He had savings
accumulated from his pharmaceutical distribution and the land owner was asking
for an amount which would take up slightly more than half his savings. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">It would be a
significant risk for him but he decided to go with his intuition and pursue the
land deal. And anyways, he was also sick of the inaction of the past 6 months.
Finally, there was an opportunity for action and he would not let go of this
opportunity. He called up the number that was displayed on the ad and fixed up
an appointment with the land owner. He felt a surge of excitement. At last, he
was getting out of the rut. When he informed his parents about his intent to
purchase the parcel of land, they were wary at the beginning but eventually
relented after seeing Kris’ excitement.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">The next day,
Kris met the landowner at the site of the property to discuss the terms of the
sale. After five minutes of routine conversation, Kris had an intuitive
realization that something was amiss with the behaviour of the landowner. He
concluded that either the land owner was swindling him about the legality of
the property or he was utterly desperate to sell the land. He immediately asked
the land owner probing questions about any legal issues in the property. The owner
satisfactorily answered all the questions and even showed him the legal
documents pertaining to the property. This then meant that if he had to rely on
his intuition, the landowner was desperate to sell the land. He decided to
again rely on his intuition and offered the land owner half the rate that he
was asking in the ad. Kris expected the land owner to laugh at the ridiculous
offer and was scared that he would be shooed away for being so naïve. Instead,
the landowner gulped and almost begged Kris to increase the offer considering
the market rate of the land. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">This was the
moment when Kris realized that his intuition was indeed right. Only a person in
desperate need of money could contemplate selling the land at such cheap rates.
Kris, initially pleaded lack of funds with the owner but eventually relented to
increase his offer marginally. The owner heaved a sigh of relief and readily
shook hands on the revised offer. Kris later realized that the owner was
heavily in debt and had to sell the land at such distressed rates to avoid
bankruptcy. After the meeting, Kris readily made arrangements to purchase the
property. Within a few days, the site was registered in his name and the
documents were transferred. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Kris felt deep
satisfaction as he held the property documents in his name. He knew that he was
back in the game and felt proud that he was recovering from the abyss that he
had fallen into. He then decided to talk to his father about the potential
action steps to be taken on the land as his father had a fair idea of real
estate. After analyzing all options, he concluded that constructing a
residential apartment in the land would be the best choice as there were a lot
of commercial spaces and offices around the property. He intuitively felt that
people would prefer residing near to their office place and save on the commute
time. But since he had no construction experience, he decided he would have to
hire a contractor to construct the building. He immediately placed an ad in the
newspaper to hire one.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">The next week,
he received a call from a person who expressed interest in taking up the
services. Kris scheduled an appointment for the same evening at a coffee shop
near to his home. At the coffee shop, he saw a young man in his mid-twenties
who seemed to be looking for someone. Kris ignored him as he was expecting the
contractor to be a middle aged person. But he was utterly surprised when the
young man approached him and asked for him and introduced himself as Mark. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Kris would
have normally rejected the young man immediately looking at his youth and
perceptible inexperience. But something within him was stopping him. It was his
intuition again. And by now, he had developed great respect for his intuition. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">He gave Mark a
chance to explain his capabilities and was not disappointed. In spite of his
youth, Mark showed a lot of clarity of thought and understanding which
extremely impressed Kris. And since this would be Mark’s first project he was
offering his services at a 40% discount to the market rates prevailing for
contractors. Kris hid his excitement and expressed that he was sceptical of
hiring Mark due to his inexperience. Immediately, Mark offered a further 20%
discount to add to the earlier discount. Kris could not control his glee and
burst out into a smile. He hired Mark on the spot.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">With his
remaining savings, he started the construction of the residential apartment
along with Mark. Mark proved to be a quick learner and was hard working and
honest to boot. With his dedication and intelligence, Mark was able to complete
the construction quickly and cost effectively. It took no time for Kris to
realize that he would be sitting on handsome profits once the apartments were
sold. He thanked his stars for the luck and his intuition for the insights. He
vowed never to drink again as he did not want to risk losing his enhanced
intuition.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">As Kris had
expected, there was huge demand for the apartments from office goers who
preferred the convenience of a home nearby to their office. The apartments were
sold out in no time and in the process made Kris extremely rich. Kris had never
seen so much money and did not know what to do with it. He paid Mark an extra
bonus for his hard work and reserved the rest of the money for his next
project. All this while, he had resisted all temptations to drink. These were
the best times of his life and he did not want to ruin it. He was also glad
that he was able to make his parents happy again. The only person missing in
his life was his ex-wife Martha. Kris still missed her a lot and was cursing
his previous version for being such a stupid fool. He had heard from one of
their common friends that Martha was also anguished at the prospect of losing
someone whom she cared for deeply. Krish deeply wanted to get back with her but
could not muster the guts to face her after his previous debacle. His own
behaviour had posed a question mark subconsciously about whether he deserved to
be with Martha again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">With this
experience of constructing an apartment, he realized that real estate was his calling
and was now on the hunt for the next property. He diligently started
researching and came to know that there was a particular property that was
being coveted by all the major real estate players. The property was in a
central location of the city and many property developers in the market
recognized the value in the property. But somehow, all the developers had
failed to negotiate on the price with the owner of the property. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">The owner was
an old widow who had just lost her husband and was planning to relocate to her
daughter’s home as she did not feel comfortable staying alone at her home. For
this reason, she was looking for buyers to sell her home to. This news had
created a lot of buzz in real estate circles as the home was located in a prime
locality. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Kris again
intuitively felt that a commercial property built at the widow’s home would
sell like hot cakes and decided to give a shot at purchasing the property. The
profits that he had made from the residential apartment would be more than
enough to purchase the widow’s home and construct at it. Without scheduling an
appointment he directly approached the widow’s home and rang the bell. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">A servant
opened the door and Kris was led inside to the hall after he mentioned the
reason of visit. It looked like the servant was used to entertaining strangers
looking to buy the property. A few minutes later, an old lady entered into the
hall and introduced herself as Mrs. Thomas. Kris struck a conversation with her
and talked to her about her daughter and her grandchildren. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">After an hour
or so of routine conversation, the lady began discussing the sale of property.
Mrs. Thomas asked Kris at what price he would be comfortable in purchasing the
property. Kris’ intuition suggested that the price would be an important
parameter for Mrs. Thomas in deciding the buyer. So, he decided to quote the
prevailing market price rather than haggle for a discounted price. At the
offer, Mrs. Thomas looked at Kris intensely for a while and then offered her
hands. She had accepted the price! Kris could not believe his luck. He had been
awarded with something that the major and experienced developers were coveting.
He asked her the reason for accepting him as the buyer and not the other
developers who had even more resources at their disposal. She replied that
without exception all the developers who had approached her had considered her
vulnerable and wanted to take advantage of her old age. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Even though
she was aware of the market price, the developers perceived her to be ignorant of
market conditions. She said that Kris was the first potential buyer who had
treated her with respect and offered her the proper market price. And that was
all that Mrs. Thomas was looking for. Within a week, the transaction was
consummated and Kris was the proud owner of Mrs. Thomas’ home. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Immediately he
contacted Mark and asked him if his services were available again. Mark gladly
assented and in no time got to work on the construction of a business centre at
the property. As expected, the response for the property was phenomenal and
again resulted in windfall profits for Kris. His quick growth in the real
estate market had generated a lot of respect for Kris and he was considered as
the one to watch out for in the future. Kris was overwhelmed with the success
that he had secured in such a short period of time. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Even in his
wildest imagination, he had not expected to earn so much money. He had never
felt happier in his life. He recollected how depressed he was a couple of years
ago. The magical moment when his mother fed him the apple cake had turned his
life around. His intuition was also pivotal in getting him to where he was. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">But the more
successful he was the more he felt that he was missing Martha by his side. He
had kept track on Martha to see whether she had remarried and was glad that she
had not. He considered calling her but he could not place the call. The shame
of having abused her in his previous avatar was still there and he felt that he
could not face her anymore.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">He tried to
channelize the pain and pour it into his real estate efforts. He was keen to
continue his winning streak in real estate. He had organized a huge celebratory
bash to mark his arrival in the big league. All the reputed people in the real
estate industry were invited for the bash. He also wanted his parents to soak
in the success and was looking forward to the bash with immense enthusiasm.
When the celebrations began, he saw everyone enjoying their drinks and having a
good time. Many people even asked him why he was not drinking. He initially resisted
his temptations to drink but eventually caved in. He rationalized that if he
drinks for one day it will do him no harm. And anyways, the celebrations were
very important to him and he wanted to enjoy it to the fullest. It was worth
the risk. When he took the first sip he felt his whole body relaxing. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">He had
forgotten how good it felt. He involved himself in the celebrations with full
gusto and poured himself another drink. While he was having the third round of
scotch, he suddenly felt intuitively that he was committing a grave mistake and
had gotten carried away in the celebrations.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">He immediately
threw away the remaining drink and hoped that he would not have to suffer
another attack. Unfortunately, it was not to be. A few minutes later his head
started feeling heavy and giddy. He knew he had to crash to a room quickly or
the invitees would feel that he was suffering from a bout of fits. He quickly
approached Mark and asked him to find him a room in a nearby hotel. Mark was diligent
as ever and quickly placed Kris in a room. Kris told Mark to take care of the
guests in the party while he rested in the room. As soon as Kris crashed into
the bed, he realized that this attack would be more powerful than the previous
two attacks. He was blinded with intense pain on his temple and felt his heart
pounding rapidly. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">The attack was
taking him to never seen before places within his mind. He could see the
massive, complex cosmos and yet within the unstructured universe he caught a
glimpse of a tiny organised world. It seemed like a beautiful oasis amidst a
mammoth wilderness of randomness. It felt like he had penetrated a veil and had
witnessed the unseen which was not supposed to be seen. It was a glance at the
unknowable. The brilliance of this forbidden sight was dazzling as well as
blinding just like the radiance of the afternoon sun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then he began to experience synaesthesia, a
condition where one can simultaneously experience two senses together. Kris
could hear loud music being played in a faraway place which was getting
converted and transmitted as images in his head. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">In the images,
Kris could see his mother giving an impassioned defence about the innocence of
her son in a strange language that Kris could not understand. The universe
itself was the judge and the universe proclaimed a judgement in its infinite
wisdom in another strange language. Kris appeared within his own images and
bowed his head in misery after listening to the judgement. Then the music
stopped and so did the images. The next few hours, Kris had to go through
intense headache and suffering before the pain subsided and he fell asleep.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">The next
morning, as Kris woke up, he understood he had changed. He groaned loudly and
slapped himself on the face for getting carried away and breaking his promise.
Just when things were finally working out so well for him he had ruined it. The
previous night’s attack had left him extremely fatigued and exhausted. But he
consoled himself that this time at least he had a lot of money and he would be
able to cope up in his life. He would not be crushed with sorrow as he was the
last time the attack had struck him. Yes. He would have to cope up with the
change. He was a changed person and he had to deal with it. At that moment, he
looked out of the window to get some fresh air and on an impulse, started
counting the cars that were running on the street. He had never done this
before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had never been a numbers
person in his life but now all he could think of was numbers. He was analyzing
the distance from the bed to the bathroom. And at other times, he was taking
two random numbers and multiplying it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Before he used
to think in terms of images and words but now he could think of nothing but
numbers. The amount of time it would take him to have a shower. The sum of
money he had in his wallet which he calculated to the exact rupee. He then
started calculating the amount of money he held in various bank accounts which
was again a first in his life. He instantly realized that now that he had changed
he would no longer have the enhanced intuition that had served him so well. As
if on cue, he starting counting the number of times his intuition had helped
him in the previous version of his life. He was surprised to feel that he no
longer felt excited about his real estate business. What he had felt was his
calling before no longer interested him. He felt more excited in drowning
himself in numbers and making sense of the world through numbers. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">He turned on
the TV and was flicking through the channel when he came across a business
channel. He was suddenly intrigued by the stock tickers that kept whizzing by
on the bottom side of the channel. He had seen it in the previous lives as well
but it had never intrigued him before. Now, he was completely fascinated by the
numbers that suggested so many things to people who understood what it meant.
At that moment, he realized what his new calling would be. The stock markets!
It was a treasure trove of numbers which could be understood and analyzed. He
was seized by enthusiasm to convert the numbers into meaningful information and
stock markets would be an adequate platform to pour his energies into. He
immediately called up a stockbroker friend of his and fixed an appointment to
know more about the mysterious world of stock markets.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">The next day
he met his friend and tried to understand the mechanics of stock market. The
meeting went on for hours but it could not assuage his thirst for knowledge of
it. When the meeting was about to conclude, Kris decided that he would start
trading in the markets from the next day itself. As he was about to leave, his
friend warned him about the pitfalls that could entrap the self-assured and
asked Kris to be cautious. Kris nodded and smiled and told him not to worry.
That evening, Kris began analyzing reams of data regarding the price movements
and business financials of companies. The more he researched the more he was
confident that he would master the game. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">His analysis
suggested to him that the markets were up for a huge bull run and he could make
money by buying stocks. He tested the waters by investing a part of his savings
in the market. And as luck would have it, the markets increased significantly
and landed Kris a neat profit. His first moves in the stock market provided
Kris a huge sense of exhilaration. Bolstered by his initial success he decided
to invest all his savings into the stock market. And the markets obliged. In 3
months he had increased his net worth by 60%. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">He had fallen
in love with the game of stock markets where profits were the way to keep
points. But something within Kris was not satisfied. His initial success had
increased his confidence and he wanted to amplify the gains that he was making
in the markets. He researched and found out that stock futures could be used as
lever to magnify the gains that he was making. He realized that he could
magnify the results by 4-5 times by using futures. Had he used futures from the
start his gains would potentially have been up to 300% rather than 60%. He
decided that without further ado he would start purchasing stock futures and
make more profits than he could imagine in his wildest imaginations. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">With the money
he had made in real estate and stock markets he could retire and lead a
luxurious life for the rest of his lifetime. But he felt that it would be no
fun when compared to the excitement he felt in the stock markets. The next day
he allocated 80% of his net worth into stock futures and waited for the cash to
roll in. A week went by and he made further profits which were now magnified by
the leverage he was using. Kris could now see nothing but numbers in front of
him. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">He was
constantly calculating various permutations and combinations in different
scenarios. In essence, for Kris, the money he was making no longer mattered. It
was the thrill of winning the game of stock markets that truly excited him. The
more money he made the more he felt like a winner in life. He called up his
stockbroker friend and informed him about the success that he had garnered in such
a short period of time. When his friend realized that Kris was playing in stock
futures he tried to convince Kris about the dangers of it and how he had
personally witnessed clients getting ruined by the game of Futures. But Kris
scoffed at him by telling him not to envy his abilities to make money in the
markets and kept the phone on his friend’s face.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">But the
stockbroker’s words proved to be prescient. A few days after the conversation,
a huge terrorist attack took place which created pandemonium and panic in the
markets. Kris was dumbfounded. He was betting the markets would move up but due
to the attack the markets collapsed by 25% within a week. Kris was frozen by
the change of events and he was sitting on huge losses which would virtually
wipe out 98% of his net worth. He received a call from his broker who informed
him that he was closing all his positions as there was a huge negative
shortfall in Kris’ account. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Kris was left
with no option but to sell the luxurious condominium that he was living in and
use almost all of his reserves to clear the shortfall. Unfortunately, as soon
as he cleared the shortfall, the markets recovered dramatically. Had he not
been over-leveraged he could have the staying power which would have reduced
his losses to a meagre 10% instead of 98% that he had to endure. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">After this
turn of events, Kris was a shattered man. He had lost everything. From being
extremely successful he had become a pauper. He felt hopeless and depressed. He
kicked himself for not paying heed to his friend’s words. He was back in his
parent’s place, had lost almost all his money, had lost the love of his life
and was completely devoid of energy. He hated his life. All this while, he was
so absorbed by the markets and was enjoying the ride so much that he had
avoided drinking lest he change again. But he had realized that he was so
blinded by numbers that he had forgotten everything else. The numbers had made
him blind to words and other people’s feelings. His friend’s words of warning
kept haunting him every day and troubled him deeply. He hated himself for being
so foolish. His self-hatred led him to deciding to change as a person. And that
was when he turned to alcohol. For better or worse, it was an instrument that
could change him in an instant.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">The next ten
days he drank consecutively. On the tenthth day, while he was reminiscing about
the past gone by, he had a feeling that it would be the day that would lead to
change. As he finished going back in time to recollect his past four
personalities, his feelings proved to be right. As soon as he finished his
fourth drink, he started feeling giddy. He progressed to his bed and lied down
waiting for the change to take over. This time, he could see images of his
childhood floating in his head. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">He saw himself
when he was around eight years old smiling rather innocently. Then the images
turned to memories. He was accessing long lost memories that were hidden deep
within the realms of his mind. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">He was tapping
imagination of his very early childhood. He was not certain of the exact
timeline of the childhood but he could guess it was when he was around two or
three years old. It seemed like a different world to him. There were no words
or numbers. It was pure images. Colourful images that a child imagines. Kris
was enthralled by what he was visualizing in front of him. Something at the
back of his mind told him that he was back in his childhood which was a lot
happier and simpler time. It brought him back to a period of time where
everything was looked at with wonderment and amazement. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Image after
colourful image kept floating past him. This time the trigger was surprisingly
pleasant. He was taken over with feelings of bliss and harmony. And then time
suddenly stopped. He was accessing memories that he had experienced when he was
an infant. Time seemed completely paused. He was transported into a time where
he had access only to the most basic emotions. The next ten minutes passed away
as if it were hours. Then the attack took him further back in time. He accessed
memories that had occurred to him while he was in the womb. He experienced
complete nothingness. It was complete darkness and blankness. No images. No
words. No numbers. No emotions. No feelings. No thoughts. It was pure
nothingness. He was floating in time. And then he fell asleep.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Next morning
when he woke up, he had a smile in his face. Last night’s experience had truly
transformed him for the better. He was feeling extremely happy and satisfied.
And the happiness did not depend on any external validation like success,
achievement, fame or money. He was happy because it was the natural state of
being for him. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">Past
experiences had been tumultuous. Scarring him and exhilarating him by turns.
But currently he felt he was undergoing a self-healing process underneath. He
was feeling peace and contentment that he had never experienced before, even
when he was the owner of extreme wealth and had achieved unbelievable success.
And since he was feeling happy in spite of being poor he knew that the feeling
was for good. He secured himself a managerial position in a nearby bank and
worked on it diligently and satisfactorily. He no longer felt the urge to gain
material success or wealth. He also no longer felt the urge to drink again.
But, just like before, he felt a void in his life. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">The absence of
Martha was still haunting him. He realized that he had to win her back. She had
always been supportive, caring and loving until he had betrayed her trust by
physically abusing her. But that brute was long gone. He had transformed. He
was simple and honest and could not hurt a fly. Eventually, when he could no
longer be without Martha, Kris decided to muster his courage and meet her. On
the way, he was thinking of all the things he was going to say to convince her.
He would honestly bare all and let her decide if she still wanted to return in
his life. He was feeling extremely jittery as he walked to her doorsteps. He
was mentally rehearsing the lines he was going to tell her as he nervously
pressed the bell to her home. He crossed his fingers and waited tensely for
someone to open the door. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">It was Martha
who opened the doors. Kris tried to mumble something and remember the words
that he was just memorizing but no words came out. Finally, he was able to
stutter the words “I love you. I am sorry I hurt you” to Martha as she was
staring at him wide-eyed with surprise. Martha nodded and invited him inside.
He could see Martha was trying her best not to reveal what she was feeling
inside. He understood that she was terribly hurt by his previous conduct. He
could still see fear in her eyes when she looked at him. He was unsure whether
she would believe him but he decided he would nevertheless narrate the events
that had transpired. Martha seemed sceptical of what she was hearing but Kris
diligently explained everything to her. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">He could see
that Martha was grappling with an internal dilemma and did not seem completely
convinced. She then decided to gaze intently at his eyes as though his eyes
would reveal the answers to her. Kris met her gaze, hoping she could see the
honesty in his eyes. After a while, Kris noticed the doubts melting away from
Martha as her shoulders relaxed and her eyes became softer. Martha broke into
tears and lovingly hugged him with all her might. She had chosen to believe him
and wanted to be with him too. It was the most amazing moment Kris had ever
experienced. He had finally reclaimed his life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">As Kris and
Martha started living together again, it felt like they had never separated.
Two united souls which had become disjointed were beginning to fuse back again.
Kris was thankful for having gained Martha back in his life. He was
appreciating her value and importance much more now that he realized how
painful it was to lose her. Martha too was feeling happy after a long time.
Once she had separated with Kris, she had forgotten how to smile. Now she was
laughing heartily at the smallest things. The world felt alive again. Her eyes
gleamed with energy and hope. The fact that Kris had lost most of his wealth
did not bother her one bit, but she realized that it was something that worried
Kris. Alone, Kris did not mind the lack of wealth, but now that Martha was a
part of his life again he was ashamed that he could not provide her a similar
quality of life like before. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">To assuage his
shame, Martha had an idea to reclaim his lost wealth. She asked Kris to show
her the six paintings that he had drawn while being an artist. Kris did not see
the point but reluctantly agreed to show her. She was aghast that Kris had
thrown away five of the paintings in a dirty corner without bothering about its
impact on condition. She berated him for his lack of responsibility. Kris
sheepishly responded by showing her a portrait of hers which he had kept in top
class condition by framing and covering it. Martha was spellbound by the sight
of the painting. It took her breath away and she began to weep. The painting
was about a constellation of stars shining brightly in the night sky and bang
in the middle was a giant star that looked eerily like Martha having a happy
moment. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">As she
recovered her emotional bearings, she called up a certain Mr. Hormuz
Taraporevala for whom she had worked for on an administrative capacity.
Taraporevala was a renowned philanthropist and art collector, who was well
known for his generosity. He immediately agreed to meet them and appraise the work
of Kris. When Kris saw Taraporevala, he felt that he was in the company of a
character from the Wodehousian fantasies of Blandings castle who had been
transported mysteriously into Cuffe Parade. Perhaps, Mr. Taraporevala was the
Lord Emsworth of Cuffe Parade. There was a childlike innocence and curiosity in
his mannerisms which instantly transformed into alert awareness as his eyes
came across the paintings. His eyes surveyed the paintings like a Hawk as he
deftly appraised each of the paintings. He could not suppress a gasp of
pleasure as his eyes came upon the framed portrait of Martha.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">After he had
deeply analysed all the six paintings, Taraporevala looked at Martha and said
“Dikri, put these five paintings on one side and your framed portrait on
another side. These five paintings are alright, they show glimpses of raw
talent but this portrait is a class apart. Your chokra has not created a piece
of art; it is a work of devotion. It should be celebrated as such. These five
paintings I value at not more than Rs. 20 lakhs all put together, but this
constellation portrait is worth at least Rs. one crore!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN" style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;">At these
words, Kris felt tears of joy pouring out of his eyes. When he glanced at
Martha, he saw even Martha was overwhelmed with joy. Taraporevala looked at the
two of them and even he could not help but feel an outpouring of joy and
happiness. Tears of joy started flowing out of his eyes uncontrollably. It was
an odd sight. Three grown-ups laughing and crying together at the same time and
yet all the three realized that it was a moment of pure bliss that had been
captured permanently in the depths of their collective hearts.</span></div>
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Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-46302926637729718762013-01-04T10:08:00.000-08:002013-04-23T10:05:06.731-07:00Him<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">He was giggling needlessly. He was not even feeling happy. In-fact he was feeling totally useless. The world felt he was too fucked up. Too neurotic. Too dopey. Too stupid. And the world was right in its own way. He was all that and more. He went to a friend's home to have a cup of tea. The tea was really good. He could taste the milk in the tea and if he wanted to he could just taste the tea powder. The bitterness of tea powder. The strange aftertaste it left after gulping down the tea. He could imagine the tea powder in his head. He smiled. It reminded him of similar looking things. Things that could stone you to death or worse. It was good shit anyways even though he did not know what it meant and did not know where it was taking him.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The next sip of the tea gave him an overpowering taste of sugar. Sugar reminded him of the world. The world was sugary sweet from the outside and full of alcohol from the inside. The world made him nauseous. The world and its society and its structures and its impediments and its smartness and its ugliness and he went on and on in his head. He was a bit dazed inspite of the tea. He went outside to have a walk in the park and to see if God was around. He was not sure if God existed but there was no harm in finding out. Instead he saw a butterfly. He started chasing it. The butterfly was really beautiful. Its wings kept fluttering on and on. The butterfly was whizzing around rather quickly but he could swear it was flapping its wings rather seductively. He noticed the world looking at him. They thought he was insane. He gave them an insane smile just to freak them out. Kids in and around the park were wondering why someone so old would be having so much fun. Grown-ups were not allowed to have fun. They have forsaken that right. That's the look the kids gave him. One of the kids gave a rather jealous look to him as his mum was around and was really screwing his happiness. He had a thought that the kid had become a grown-up already and must be having mundane thoughts already. Mundane thoughts the world has about success and achievement and all that shit that scares the fuck out of you. By which the world judges each and everyone around them. " I am more successful than him. He is such a loser. Haha". That is what the world generally used to think of him when they are around him. But when the world is around someone more successful than them they think "He is so wealthy and successful. He has 2 BMW's and makes a numerical amount of money. I suck" The world always thinks in numbers. In numbers and in objects and what they own. "What do you feel" he used to ask the world "Get away from me. I have all these numbers to achieve. I am not like you. I want to wake up in the morning. Unlike you. I want to do something. Unlike you" the world used to respond. "But what do you feel" he used to ask again. "Fuck you, you dimwit. You fucking retard. You stupid twit. I am judging you. Look into my eyes" Then he looked into their eyes. That used to scare the shit out of them for some reason. The world is full of liars and liars will not be able to see you in the eyes because they are freaking scared. Phoney people used to say that eyes are the gateway to the soul. He believed the phony people had a point even though they did not even
understand what they were talking about. Stupid and phony people are though
less stupid than him. Freaking gateway to the fucking soul. People saying
things they don’t even understand. People knowing things they do not even know.
Yet the world was alright. They were too judgmental yes but they were alright
as long as they left him alone. They were alright from afar. Their stupidity
was contagious as one song used to say. But they were pretty ok otherwise. Trying
to reach the goals they had set for themselves. Trying to make people happy.
Trying to love and be loved. Most often they wanted to think of themselves as
smart. Thinking themselves as smart was a common disease amongst all the
mankind. He did not care for that shit at that moment. He was lost in his own
world. The outside world did not seem to bother him too much. He giggled at the
world and the world responded with a funny look which seemed to crack him up
further. All that giggling had made him hungry. He went to the nearest
restaurant around him and munched away to glory.</span></span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">He was feeling happy. Nothing seemed to bother him at that moment.
He knew he was going crazy but even that thought did not seem to bother him. He
knew nobody would understand him either. The world was going through too much
shit of their own to bother about other people’s shit and understand others. He
carried on munching till the waiter gave him a weird look for eating so much.
He gave a blissful look to the waiter and the waiter responded with a “Stay
away” look. He stayed in the restaurant for hours together but eventually he started integrating with the world and was
becoming just like them. He paid the bill, started to leave and was walking
towards his home. Someone in the road gave him a brotherly smile but he could
not care any less and walked away without responding. He wasn’t fucked up
anymore. He had landed to the ground.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-53650827063764022632012-11-18T11:32:00.001-08:002012-11-20T08:58:13.487-08:00Roger's night out<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Roger could not handle his drinks well. His head was swirling around and he was trying to make sense of the world. The hostess was talking kindly to him and was perhaps pointing at the dinner table. Maybe she had not realized that he was too drunk to understand he was drunk. "Ofcourse, my dear lady" giving her a smile which could mean anything but most probably did not mean anything. "Oh, what a pleasant Gentleman" thought the hostess. "He did not flirt with me and neither did he stare down my neck. Perhaps I should date him. A nice find!!" she thought while greeting her next guest.<br />
<br />
Roger then proceeded to the drinks table. Not because he wanted another drink. He wanted to undrink himself. The bartender was too used to drunks like himself. He pointed out the restroom to Roger. "Thanks my Lord. I will be damned if you are not Jeeves the Butler. You can solve anything. I wanted to undrink myself and you pointed out the restroom!" Roger said. He continued towards the restroom but he was stopped by an anaconda or what he thought was an anaconda. The anaconda seemed to have that Brazilian dirt still hanging around its crease. Now Roger was an immaculately dressed gentleman and could not afford to get his party shirt dirty. He shied away from the anaconda. The anaconda slithered away from Roger as if he was a snake charmer. Snake charmer? Maybe. Or perhaps he was just some uninteresting individual with whom the anaconda had no chance of having any fun. It is anybody's guess that it could have been due to Roger's spectacles which gave the impression that any moment Roger could begin a discourse on some lengthy but inconsequential philosophical debate which hardly anybody else is interested in. It may have been tolerable during normal times but is quite boring during party hours. Anyways, by all accounts, the anaconda just slithered away to its next destination leaving Roger behind to complete his toilet formalities.<br />
<br />
Roger decided to take a walk in the park. He was hoping that people did not realize he was finding it difficult to walk in a straight path. He was also finding it difficult to spell things. In this state, he would definitely find it tough to pass the third grade exam. Second grade would have been a breeze but not the third one. He noticed a random stranger singing a song to himself. Roger felt a weird bonding with the random dude as they were fellow co-habitants of the park at that moment. Roger came close enough to the stranger to make sense of the wordings of the song. "Dont ignore me just cause I m ignorant. Save me from me. I m warning you. Its not best to leave it till its too late. Dont ignore my warning just cause I m an ignorant" went the song. "Makes sense" Roger thought to himself. Quite proud of his analysis of this song, Roger decided he had enough of the walk and went inside to the party hall.<br />
<br />
Roger was still an immaculately dressed gentleman sitting in a corner during the function. His brain wasn't functioning too well because he had had one drink too many. The thoughts were getting intertwined and intermingled with one another. He could feel it. He had a feeling that everyone around him thought he was going crazy. And he could not blame them completely either. He was losing control of his faculties. But he wasn't crazy yet and he was not ready to give up yet. Roger knew there was still one last chance for redemption. But he thought that he might be going crazy. He was thinking of the Arabs who weren't too well dressed themselves but they did not leave any opportunity of making fun of him. Rogie Rogie they cried. Roger the Dodger was his nickname. Then the music started. It was slow to begin with, but then it got slower and slower. It got smoother and more refined, like high quality whisky. It got more rhythmic and slower till it got really exhausting. Too exhausting to handle. Till he fell fast asleep, Roger did.<br />
<br />
And when he woke up the next morning, he was sober again. Just a slight hangover and embarrassment of sleeping over at someone else's place without notice. After that, there was nothing to write home about. It was just the drudgery of normal sober life. Until the next party happened. But that's another story.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-71617783171097767672012-09-19T13:51:00.002-07:002012-11-20T09:04:49.726-08:00Hahaha<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"I am gonna have lot's of fun with you my boy"<br />
<br />
"Wha"<br />
<br />
"Hahahaha. Oh yes, I am gonna have a good time all right"<br />
<br />
"What are you talking about. Dint I just kill myself"<br />
<br />
"Yes. You did. And that's why you are with me. Those who kill themselves end up with me. And that will teach you to have killed yourself"<br />
<br />
"Is this life after death"<br />
<br />
"No. And it is neither heaven nor hell and neither is this judgement day. And nor am I a devil. Though I am something even worse. Haha haha hahahaha"<br />
<br />
"Why am I here. My back really hurts"<br />
<br />
"You my boy are going to be roasted and boiled like you did to all those eggs and meat. You are going to feel how they felt. Hahaha"<br />
<br />
"But I was a vegetarian"<br />
<br />
"Were you? Then I may not have done my homework properly. Then lets look at your last days before you killed yourself so brutally. That would be fun, wouldn't it"<br />
<br />
"Why are you tormenting me"<br />
<br />
"Because I am a tormentor. You have just killed yourself. Thats where I come in. You have done a grave sin by killing yourself and cutting that soul's life short. I have to teach you a great lesson by tormenting you. And it gives me great pleasure to do so. Oh, don't give me that sad look. Come on, we haven't even started already"<br />
<br />
"What are you going to do"<br />
<br />
"Now, my boy we have the privilege to watch your life backwards. I love doing this. This way I will get to know you better. Hahaha. Three days before you shot yourself in the head, you in your desperation to stave off your financial crisis, bought a lottery ticket. You checked out the results the next day, found out you had not won anything and then you continued being dejected with life, dint you my boy?"<br />
<br />
"Yes"<br />
<br />
"Hahahaha. Wouldn't it have been nice had you won the prize dear boy"<br />
<br />
"Ofcourse"<br />
<br />
"Do you remember that before buying that lottery you met an old beggar in the street and you gave him some change"<br />
<br />
"Yes"<br />
<br />
"Well, my dearest boy, that nice little gesture of yours lost you a bunch of money. The person who bought the lottery ticket just before you did, won the lottery. Had you not spent that extra time giving money to that beggar, you would have got that winning ticket. Hahahahahahaha. And we would not have been here together Santosh my poor chap"<br />
<br />
"Unbelievable. Fate raped me again"<br />
<br />
"Hahahahahahaha. Funny! Isn't it boy. It is. It is. It is my boy"<br />
<br />
"The first prize was 15 crores. Even after paying my loan I would have had more than enough. I would have had a great life afterwards"<br />
<br />
"Oh yes. Absolutely. Have to agree on that. Now lets go further back into your life. When you were 16. You dated this girl for a few months, dint you boy"<br />
<br />
"Yes. I remember her. Shweta her name was"<br />
<br />
"Yes. She had killer herself too. And she had killed herself because of you Santosh"<br />
<br />
"No, she dint. I dint do anything"<br />
<br />
"Hahaha. Oh, you poor kid. You give me so much pleasure. Two weeks after you two stopped dating each other she killed herself. She even called you three days before she killed herself. Had you been considerate in that conversation she would have been saved. Instead, you shouted at her and told her to go to hell. Poor girl. She was so obedient. A few days after talking to you, to hell she straight went. And now she must be burning in hell. Hahahahahaha. Oh, am I funny. Hell, yes I am."<br />
<br />
"I am sorry"<br />
<br />
"Do you know why you dated her"<br />
<br />
"I liked her"<br />
<br />
"No"<br />
<br />
"She was beautiful"<br />
<br />
"She was beautiful yes. But that's not why you dated her"<br />
<br />
"She was caring"<br />
<br />
"No my boy. It was because you were horny and stupid as well. Like any other kid your age. You cost that girl her life but. Do you want to know how she felt before she put fire to herself"<br />
<br />
"Yes"<br />
<br />
"Now, that's an unusual answer. Most people attempt hitting me and screaming at me by this time. Nevertheless, your words pleases me immensely. You see that girl Santosh. There, about to light that fire. Lets get into her head my boy"<br />
<br />
"I am so ugly. So ugly. He hates me. I wore that pink dress when he ditched me. I used to think I look good in that dress. Oh, I am so worthless. I cannot make anyone happy. And nobody can make me happy. Ever. Never. Now light that fire, Now! ....."<br />
<br />
"Hahahaha. My poor boy. You are not used to it. Are you not. It was brave of you to have faced this but this is not punishment enough for killing that girl"<br />
<br />
"Why did she do..."<br />
<br />
"Befuddled you are Santosh. I have more news for you. There is more punishment in store for you. You cant get away with it just like that my boy"<br />
<br />
"Now what, I am ready to face it, whatever it is. I deserve the punishment for what I did to her"<br />
<br />
"You think you are brave don't you boy. But you were not brave enough to face that world of yours. And you ran away by killing yourself like a fool. Now listen. You think that wife of yours, whom you love so much, was working at office while you were shooting yourself in the head"<br />
<br />
"Yes"<br />
<br />
"Hahahahahaha. No she was not. She was having mind-blowing sex with her colleague Rajeev. The best sex of her life. Hahahahaha. Hahahahhahahahahahhahhahahahhahaahaha"<br />
<br />
"Aaaah. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Nooooooooooooo"<br />
<br />
"What happened Santosh"<br />
<br />
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. No. No. No"<br />
<br />
"Santosh. Look at me. It's ok. It's just a nightmare. Listen to me"<br />
<br />
"Huh. What?"<br />
<br />
"It was a nightmare Santosh. A bad dream while you were sleeping. Its Ok Santosh. What is happening to you?"<br />
<br />
"Yes Latha. It was a nightmare. Yes"<br />
<br />
"What was the nightmare about. It must have been horrible?"<br />
<br />
"Nevermind Latha. Nevermind"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-51365627531212343382012-09-16T12:38:00.000-07:002018-07-21T09:11:07.201-07:00Doggy Style<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was around 6 in the evening when I had finally completed my work in office. I was all too eager to seek the company of my bed at home with other companions being a book and a cup of hot tea. It had been a difficult and tiring day at office.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The place where I was staying was a 10 minute walk from office. But the route was beset by unfriendly dogs who hated the sight of me. Me especially for some reason. The other day, I was walking back home and minding my own business when this dog came running towards me and before I could respond took a bite at my leg. It was almost a playful bite but it did hurt later. After the bite, the dog stared at me mischievously to see how I would react. I just stared back. The dog eventually got bored and galloped away somewhere else with its good deed for the day done.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, basically I was not much of a popular figure among the dogs, which was a pity. When I was a small kid the dogs used to be pretty friendly with me. The puppies especially loved me while the parents acknowledged me with an approving nod. Those were the days. But with the erosion of time, as I grew taller and bigger the dogs first ignored me and then started collectively hating me. Thats life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyways, the distance between my office and that comforting bed at home was 3 dogs. 3 goddamned dogs. Two of them were stationed a few minutes away from office and the other dog, whose ferocity was matched only by its disdain and hatred for me, was a few minutes away from my home. I set out towards my journey watchfully and cautiously. The thing is, all that caution and watchfulness kind of makes you want to pee. Its one of those mysteries of life. A little bit of context is necessary here. I was walking on the streets of India. There is a saying that in America you can kiss on the streets but not pee. India on the other hand, you cant kiss there publicly. No sir. But when you pee on the streets hardly anybody gives a damn. Now I find peeing on the road particularly distasteful. Its shows lack of civic sense and all that jazz. But there are exceptions to the rule. Especially when I am the one who is peeing. This time around it was kind of an emergency so it had to come in the exceptional category. The next step was to find a private place to pee in. The ideal location was a dog free and people free location. And there it was. The perfect place. The oasis in the desert. I hurriedly walked to the location and started the process. Ah, what bliss. Unfortunately, before there could be a happy ending, I heard a dangerous growl a few metres away from me. And then incessant obnoxious barking from another dog. It was the 2 dogs. The pair of lunatics who had undying loathing towards me. I was literally caught with my pants down. A strange philosophical insight occurred to me at that moment. If you search for something really closely you will tend to miss it if its right under your nose. I had miraculously managed to miss looking at the dogs when I was finding a place to pee. I was abruptly jolted out of my philosiphising of fundamental arguments when the two dogs started approaching me in an unfriendly manner. I instinctively pulled up my zip and bolted from the scene as fast as I could. I somehow managed to get lost in the crowds and was able to outwit and outrun the dogs who were chasing me as if their life depended on it. It was a close shave and I had come out of the battle unscathed. Well, to be honest, almost unscathed. In my hurry to flee from the battle scene I was not able to complete the business that I had set out to do in an orderly manner. The dogs had interrupted when the fountain was flowing in all its glory. The end result was an event that normally occurs to small kids when they are sleeping. I believe that a storyteller should never forsake realism and should always safeguard it. But some details can be omitted, especially in exceptional circumstances, if you know what I mean.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now there is a reason for me punishing the readers with an in-depth analysis of my ill-mannered bathroom exploits. There is a very practical lesson in store for the reader who paid attention to the story. The lesson is that do not, intentionally or unintentionally, pee in a dog's territory. No matter what the urgency or emergency. And especially if they harbour deep, inexplicable and murderous resentment towards you. Dogs dont take too well to competition in territorial matters. You pee on their territory and you are asking for trouble.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After that brief but scary encounter with these two dogs I carried forth with my journey. Now only one dog separated me from my destination. And there it was. Around 100 metres away from me. We looked at each other. Neither of us making any move. It reminded me of those western movies where 2 enemies keep looking at each other and are about to pull a gun any moment. Basically, I had two options. The first option was to be brave and walk past the dog anyway. Hoping that the dog gets confused with the apparent foolishness and lets you go. The second option was to be safe (Or be a coward. Depends on the way you see it and which side you are on) and take a longer route to my home which would circumvent the dog. Obviously, I opted for the safer route. The dog, as I had previously mentioned, was pretty ferocious.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even though the safer route would increase my travel time by 5 minutes it would ensure that I would land up 200 metres ahead of the dog while taking the lane to my home. I congratulated myself for being a sensible person and for outwitting another one of the dogs once again. I had almost reached the lane to my home when suddenly out of nowhere that giant, unfriendly, monstrous and ferocious dog leapt into the road with only a few meters between us. It was an ambush! I was completely taken by surprise and was virtually caught with my pants down yet again. The last time the dogs chased me, there was a teeming crowd which helped me get away. But this area was almost deserted. Also, this would be my second sprint in a matter of minutes and thus would not be able to sprint as hard due to tiredness. Taking everything into account, the odds of me evading that dog were on the lower side. If I had to bet, I would give myself a one in twenty chance. I had to shake myself off from my mathematical meditation as the dog started approaching me and I could almost imagine a grin on its face. I sprinted away as fast as I could. But as I had foreseen, the dog was winning the chase and would be on me any moment. Just when all hopes seemed to be lost, a kid on a bicycle came to my rescue and threw a handy stone at the dog. The stone missed, but the dog was startled by the entry of a third force. This called for a change in strategy. The dog had not accounted for allies who would come to my support. If you see it from the dog's perspective, the bicycle would seem like a tank and the stone would seem like a bullet. The dog made the tactical decision to go for prudence rather than valour. And quietly and sulkingly retreated to its territory.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I thanked the wonderkid for his unexpected help and support and awarded him with an ice-cream for his valiant efforts. The kid was happy with the ice-cream but I have a feeling he felt sorry for me. I was hoping that the kid could accompany me till my home but unfortunately our paths diverged at a park some 300 meters away from my home. We shook hands graciously and separated as friends while parting. All alone, I decided to sit in the park for a while. I was tired with all that sprinting and running around and wanted a breather. And, uh, I was waiting for the coast to get cleared. You never know, the dog might be lurking around for another ambush.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I sat on the first bench I could reach. Two small kids and a maid were sitting on the bench next to me. One of the kids was a boy of around 3 years and his elder sister was around 6. The boy seemed like a pain in the neck. A bit like me when I was a kid. His sister on the other hand, seemed to be in love with that rotter. She played with him, told him stories and held him affectionately. The rotter was a jerk but. He would make a big scene when his elders told him to not play in the mud. When nothing worked, his sister pulled out her trump card- a packet of chips. The rotter's eyes were wide open now and he was greedily eyeing the packet. The sister was struggling to open the packet. After eventually opening it, she took a couple of chips in her hand and offered it to me. "Here Uncle, have some chips." she said sweetly. Though I was a bit offended at being called an uncle I was touched by her offer and thanked her for the chips. The rotter was staring at her furiously for distributing the treasure to strangers. While she was handing me the chips, he had grabbed the packet and was guarding it close to his chest. He gave a few chips to the maid but refused to give any to his sister. The sister was trying to cajole him but to no avail. The maid offered some of her chips to the sister but she steadfastly refused even though I could see she was tempted to have one. I then heard her saying "We should offer it to everyone should we not". The punk responded by giving one more chip to the maid but none to his sister. I thought to myself "I really hope I have a daughter. Sons are nothing but punks and rotters"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The sister was then telling the maid "You know how the other children at school make fun of me. They say I am Ak Ak Ak Akshata. As if they are sneezing". The rotter had a sadistic smile on his face as if enjoying his sister's torment. That's when I decided that enough was enough and intervened. I approached the sister and said " Thanks again for the chips. And Akshata, you are a good girl". "Thank you Uncle" she replied shyly but happily. Then, with as much depth in my voice as I could muster I told the rotter "You should give some of those chips to your sister". The rotter turned from bully to pussy in front of authority and immediately offered a handful of chips to his sister. "Thats like a good boy" I replied and left from there. When I looked behind my shoulder, Akshata was happily putting chips into the mouth of that rotter.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I carried on my journey towards my home. It wasn't too far now. The bed and the book were beckoning. I was looking around carefully for another ambush from the ferocious dog but the surprise came from another source altogether. A cow and a smaller bull were galloping straight towards me!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Woooooooooooooooo" I cried and jumped away in the nick of time while the cow and the bull passed me dangerously closely. The Cow and the Bull were excited because the smaller Bull was trying to hump the larger Cow. And the Cow was either not interested and was looking to avoid the Bull or it was trying to find a private spot in a hurry. The Bull was making repeated attempts to climb the Cow. The Bull's penis kept coming in and out and was sharp and pointed. It reminded me of a Swiss Knife I had seen. In and out. Sharp and pointed. "You bloody motherfucking Bull. That Cow is old enough to be your mother" I thought and proceeded towards home. I finally reached home and opened the gates to my apartment while warily checking for crazy creatures around the corner. It felt good to be home and to be alive and kicking.</span><br />
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Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-23058828151231705932012-08-27T10:15:00.000-07:002017-10-17T09:17:49.804-07:00A dinner conversation<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"Robin, Pass me the juice"<br />
<br />
"Sure Mama"<br />
<br />
"Did you taste the Risotto Robbie? It is just the way it's made back home"<br />
<br />
"Absolutely Mama. It reminded me of Aunt Teresa's cooking"<br />
<br />
"Yes dear boy. Did you read the thank you letter sent by Chatterjee? It was so sweet of him don't you think?"<br />
<br />
"Yes Mama. It was nice. It's good he has not forgotten us after becoming President. That's sort of humble"<br />
<br />
"Forget us? My foot! He will never forget us. Not because he likes us. But he knows which side of his bread is buttered. He is a wily cat that Chatterjee. But he is always loyal to the family and you have to grant him that. That's why I chose him for presidency"<br />
<br />
"But Mama, if he does not like us why did you make him the President"<br />
<br />
"Because you cannot be an emotional fool. Robin, hasn't Politics still taught you that trust no one, like no one and respect no one except your family. This decision was for the family. Even if Chatterjee loathes us from the bottom of his disgusting heart, which I think he does, I would still reward him. He has been loyal to the family and that's what matters. Judge everyone by their loyalty first and last. I know that Chatterjee will choose our family over his country any day"<br />
<br />
"That's true Mama. Chatterjee deserves a promotion after all the doggie work he has done for us. I have to appreciate your thinking Mama"<br />
<br />
"Plus he knows things and he understands how to maintain secrecy. If he had not been such an invaluable soldier for the family I would have considered disposing him. In Chess, it is sometimes important to sacrifice minor pieces like soldiers so that other important pieces get a superior positional advantage"<br />
<br />
"Other important pieces like the Queen. Right Mama? Can I watch the news Mama. Please."<br />
<br />
"Not today. The news is too depressing. The laalis are hounding us again today. It must be all over the news. Put on something nice and pass me the roasted Lamb"<br />
<br />
"What do you want to see. Can we watch some soccer?"<br />
<br />
"Yes. If you wish. And Robin, you still need to learn to be discreet about Rosemary. Tell her to quieten down. She cannot be all loud and belligerent. The laalis are always on her lookout so this kind of behaviour is not tolerable. One slip and our reputation goes poof into thin air"<br />
<br />
"I am sorry Mama. I will inform her you were displeased with her behaviour"<br />
<br />
"And be discreet about Tanya as well. You see, I don't want Rosemary to ever know. When you displease a woman you risk your whole empire falling apart"<br />
<br />
"But how did you know about Tanya?"<br />
<br />
"Oh Robin. I thought you would be more sensible than your sister but you have a totally different set of problems. You are turning out to be so gullible so naive and so innocent which just does not befit the man in the family. Try to understand that even if you want to let go of Tanya she will not want to let go of you. You are the goose that will lay her the golden eggs. Really Robin, I am getting sick of your affairs. You think you can hide things from me. If I was so stupid I would not have been in this position. You should be ashamed of yourself. Hiding things from me like this. And make sure you keep your hot-bloodedness in check the next time"<br />
<br />
"But Mama, she was saying things like she cannot be without me and that she worships me and is devoted to me like no one else can ever be. She said she could not live without me"<br />
<br />
"You fool. You get suckered into those things. Next time she contacts you inform me immediately. You cannot tackle a silly girl how will you be able to handle your cunning party people and those horrendous laalis"<br />
<br />
"I will be careful next time Mama"<br />
<br />
"Just remember that when you rule this country you will need to have your wits around you. You will be attacked from all corners. One goof-up and they will tear you apart into pieces. You have to sober down and be more aware. If you don't get smart quickly even your Mama will not be able to save you"<br />
<br />
"I have cut down on my smoking and my drinking"<br />
<br />
"Yes, but that has not stopped you from acting stupid already. Buck up baby. It's very important. Look how our village has become more prosperous. Look at our family back home. You have to carry on the legacy and make the family proud"<br />
<br />
"I promise you Mama that I will take care and be more careful. I will be really smart and cunning as you want me to be"<br />
<br />
"That's like my good boy"<br />
<br />
"By the way Mama, the violence seems to be escalating in the eastern part of this country"<br />
<br />
"Don't worry Robbie. Our dear old Sampath Singh is working at it. And Subramaniam is always there. I have informed him that if need arises he has to divert the issue"<br />
<br />
"Ah. Subramaniam Uncle is on it. Then there is really nothing to worry about. What would we have done without him. What do we have for dessert tonight Mama?"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-53890226307398499712012-08-18T21:32:00.002-07:002012-08-19T01:29:48.502-07:00Memoirs of a sleepless traveller<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have a particularly mixed record of sleeping during train journeys. In some fortunate journeys, I fall asleep instantaneously. Almost as soon as I put my head onto the pillow. But not so in most journeys. During these journeys its a constant battle between sleep and just tossing and turning restlessly in the rather smallish bed you find in Indian railways. This particular journey that I am recounting was one such battle. It was three AM and sleep thus far was successful in evading me. The more I longed for sleep the more it ran away from me. Like a wily temptress. For some obscure reason I always think of sleep as a feminine entity. Perhaps, due to the unpredictable nature the better sex commonly possesses.<br />
<br />
I finally gave up longing for sleep and decided to venture out to the station that had just arrived. It was a chilly night and I had an irresistible urge to purchase a steaming hot cup of tea that was being sold in the station.The tea was excellent but whatever semblance of hope for sleep I had were dashed. The tea had made me wide awake. Instead of going back to my allocated bed I decided to sit near the entrance of the coach. When the train would start, a gush of windy fresh air would strike my face.Its quite a pleasant experience especially if you are in a reflective mood deep into the night.But it seemed I was not the only one with the same idea. The person who was sharing my cabin in the train was already seated there. I sat next to him, slightly irritated because I was looking forward to some solitude and reflection.<br />
<br />
"So you are not able to sleep as well" He asked me cordially<br />
<br />
"Yes. Sleep has been elusive tonight. You are Manjunath if I remember correctly" I replied. We had already exchanged pleasantries and made small talk in the evening. I wanted to test whether I could remember his name. I generally have a bad time recognizing faces and remembering names. So I preferred to sort out the issue at the onset rather than get corrected later on.<br />
<br />
"Yes. My name is Manjunath. Sleep has not been kind to me either. So I thought I might as well get some fresh air"<br />
<br />
"You look especially tired. When was the last time you had some good sleep. Because it looks like you could do with some"<br />
<br />
"Hehe. I would love some sleep. I haven't slept a wink the last 4 days to be honest"<br />
<br />
"No wonder you look so tired. What's bothering you if I may ask". I have generally noticed that people do not mind if you are intrusive in a train journey. So I felt it was a perfectly legitimate thing to ask.<br />
<br />
"Well, there are things of the past that bothers you. You know something that keeps haunting you"<br />
<br />
"You mean something of the past that you regret now". There is something about train journeys that makes you talk. In one instance, a person had revealed to me his darkest and most intimate secrets. Maybe its the fact that you may never meet the stranger again and that makes people tell stuff to strangers that they would never dare to tell anyone they know.<br />
<br />
"Exactly. You have the right word. Its regret"<br />
<br />
"Regret? What sort of regret?" I was kind of piqued. These sort of things make me really curious.<br />
<br />
"You know, general things" he said vaguely. He was suddenly becoming uncomfortable. As if realizing that I am a complete stranger rather than a confidante. I did not want to pester him but my curiosity was getting the better of me<br />
<br />
"Even I have regrets" I replied "Had I studied harder for the entrance exam I would have secured a better college". I hoped me stating my regret would tempt him to reciprocate<br />
<br />
"I do not mean any offense but I advise you to not lose sleep over that. It is a bit childish If I may use the word. Is that all you regret about?" He asked me in an obviously envious tone<br />
<br />
"It may seem childish to you but it is something I regret. What about you. What's your regret?"<br />
<br />
"The thing I regret happened a long time back. Around 6 years ago. When I was around your age"<br />
<br />
"Back when you used to worry about exams" I said tongue-in-cheek<br />
<br />
"Yes. Those were the golden days when I had still not grown-up. I had gone to visit a friend in a neighbouring town. I remember we had gone to see a movie that evening. While we were coming back we witnessed a bunch of people with swords and sticks in their hands going after a man carrying a child. It was a mob. The mob was chanting religious slogans continuously and in front of our eyes they managed to catch up with the man they were chasing"<br />
<br />
He began to hesitate at this point. This time I was not keen on goading him to talk. Even I remained silent. I had half a mind to terminate the conversation and go back to my bed. While the other half was resisting the temptation and wanted to hear the whole story. Before I could decide he got over his hesitation and began again.<br />
<br />
"What I saw next was unbelievable. The mob caught up with the person and in their frenzy started brutally assaulting the person with their swords. And they did not spare the child as well. It was a little girl. Both were being butchered. Their cries were like scared chickens shrieking during their deaths. Luckily, as it was dark, me and my friend were not noticed. After around 10 minutes, the mob started walking away from the scene. Me and my friend were shaking heavily during the carnage. But once everyone left we came out of hiding and approached the man and the child. The man was writhing in pain. He was not dead yet but we could see he would not survive. He had been viciously slaughtered. Inspite of the pain the man was pointing towards the kid. His daughter. As if pleading to us to save the kid. The girl was bleeding as well but not as much as her father. I asked my friend 'We should take the girl to the hospital. I think she may still survive' My friend thought for a while and then replied 'But they started it 2 weeks back when they had slaughtered one of us. Why should we spare these idiots. Its better we leave'. And do you know what I replied"<br />
<br />
"What?" I asked<br />
<br />
"I said 'You are right. Lets leave at once. The idiots need to be taught a lesson'. And I left that little child, that little girl lying there in the pool of blood. I just left her. Heartlessly. Mercilessly. Mindlessly. I even conveniently forgot about it and successfully removed from my mind all traces of guilt that I should have felt. Until a few days back. A few days ago a little girl was born to me. To remind me of my sins.<br />
<br />
And he started sobbing thereafter. A grown up man sobbing in front of a stranger. My mind had become blank after listening to his narrative. I put my hands on his shoulders and tried to console him. He withdrew his shoulder and wearily retreated to his bed trying hard to control his sobs.<br />
<br />
A couple of hours later his station had arrived. Before leaving, he came towards me, nodded his head and gave me a slight grin. With that silent goodbye, he unloaded his luggage and climbed down into the platform of the station.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-55603887345989403592012-07-20T23:04:00.002-07:002012-07-23T22:46:32.979-07:00A day in a Diary<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Tue, 21 Mar: This is one of those days where you feel the whole world conspires to ensure you remain bogged down.<br />
<br />
After 8 days of sobbing over Ted and not leaving my room I had finally mustered the courage to go to office and face my colleagues. Ted was the most difficult person to face but even though I am weak, I did go to office. When I entered it was with my head held high. The 8 day break had sobered me up. I knew I had to put everything behind me and get on with work. Trust me, I had done my best and had wanted to put my best foot forward. But as I entered my office, I saw people glaring at me and staring at me and mocking me. Their face had that look where you try to control your grin when someone trips on a banana skin and makes a fool of themselves.I instantly realized that people had been talking behind my back and most possibly making fun of me. But as I told you before, I was planning to put my best foot forward. I just tried to shake off the feeling of foreboding and humiliation that was engulfing me by brushing off the stares and the glares as mere office gossip. I just kept walking until I reached my cubicle.<br />
<br />
I knew office work would prove to be a good distraction so I started organizing my pending work. Heartbreak, it seemed, was not a good enough reason to take a long break. Some people wanted to prove that point by giving me more work than necessary. But I did not mind. More work meant less thoughts of Ted. And so I got about my work. I prepared a report diligently for 3 hours but I reached a point where I just could not go on. I just had to see Ted. I was trying to convince myself that I had stopped loving Ted but it wasn't that easy. I had really loved him. Sincerely. Fine, he did not love me in return but we did share some special moments. How was I supposed to forget all that. These were the thoughts that were going on in my head at that time. So I decided to take a 10 minute break and just go to the floor where Ted generally hung out. The coffee floor. I would just pretend that I was dropping in to have a cup of coffee. And if I was lucky I would see Ted and maybe even say hi to him politely. I had made up my mind I would be extra civil to Ted. And make sure he did not realize how much the break-up had affected me.<br />
<br />
I took the lift to the coffee shop and there he was surrounded by a couple of his guy friends. He did not seem sad by any stretch of imagination. That was the first thing I noticed. Infact he seemed to be having a jolly good time. He was being really witty and humourous and was making his friends laugh heartily.<br />
<br />
Ted''s back was towards me and so he could not see me when I took a few steps towards him. When I came within earshot I suddenly realized I was the topic of conversation. "And she was wailing like a Banshee 'But Ted what will I ever do without you. You completed me. Please don't leave me. I love you.' And I was thinking to myself 'Ted, you really have to get rid of her. She is so clingy. The melodrama and the soap opera seems interesting for a while but after a point of time you feel like saying CUT THE CRAP"<br />
<br />
Each sentence that he was saying was hitting me like a slap. Their laughter was nauseating me. I could not breathe. I knew I would fall if I did not lean against the wall. I felt like letting out a scream but the comparison with the Banshee was stuck in my head. The way he had mimicked me. All of a sudden, I realized the reason for the stares and the glares. It was not mere office gossip. It was something really disgusting.<br />
<br />
I desperately tried to control my tears and almost ran to the restroom where I burst out crying immediately. It does not feel good to write all this. But I cant help it. Nobody else cares to listen and I cant suppress it anymore... </div>Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-57077265171029919242012-06-27T10:52:00.001-07:002012-06-27T10:52:05.608-07:00Gordon's Shadow<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Gordon had difficulty connecting to people. He could speak to people as long as speech was functional. But as soon as speech would convert into anything near conversation, Gordon would clam up. His mind would stop working, words would dry up and his outward demeanour would change for the worse. People would generally take this as a cue to say goodbye and usually made a mental note to avoid the awkward situation in the future. Gordon had taken steps to treat his social awkwardness but no amount of personality development courses could cure the mental breakdown he would face while conversing with people. Unfortunately, most people mistook his lack of social skills for mental retardation. His office colleagues made snide remarks about him even when he was within earshot not realizing that Gordon could comprehend and feel the pain. His expressionless face would mask the humiliation and the frustration but he would feel the pain nevertheless. Even though he was good at his job as a machinist, he could never make progress in his career. He did not mind the lack of career upgradation as much as he minded the lack of human contact. Gordon's age was 33 and let alone marriage he had not even dated yet.<br />
<br />
The only reason Gordon had survived was due to his 4 pet dogs. All of them stray ones. Somehow, he could connect with stray dogs and he especially bonded with the 4 dogs he kept as pets. He had never talked to his dogs like he had seen the other dog owners do. But the dogs never minded. The dogs loved his company and this is what kept Gordon going.<br />
<br />
Gordon was once feeding his dogs with milk and biscuits when he heard a meek voice behind him say "Can I play with the dogs as well Sir?". It was his 9 year old next door neighbour. They had never met before but it seemed the kid had a liking for dogs. "Yes. Of-course" Gordon replied. "Wow. Thanks a lot. Thats really nice of you.I love dogs. By the way, I am Steve. What's your name?<br />
<br />
Gordon waited for the usual clamming up sensation which would engulf him and would make him stutter his name nervously. But this time something was different. "Gordon" he replied confidently and clearly and with a smile to boot. Maybe it was the kid's enthusiasm and his cheery tone of voice or maybe it was the shared affinity of two dog lovers. Nevertheless, Gordon, for the first time in a long long while, did not mind conversing.<br />
<br />
"What are their names Mr. Gordon?"<br />
<br />
Gordon had never though of naming his dogs. The thought of calling out his dog's name had never occurred to him. But saying all of this to the kid would surely disappoint him. Gordon replied " This one you see here, he keeps scratching his ears. So I have named him scratchy"<br />
<br />
"Scratchy. Hahaha". Laughther. The sweet sound of laughter. Gordon had forgotten how to make anyone laugh. Steve's laughter was the sweetest sound he had ever heard.<br />
<br />
"And what about this dog Mr. Gordon. He is so monstrous. What's his name?"<br />
<br />
'I have named him Little John" Gordon replied with a smile.<br />
<br />
"Hahahahahaha" Steve broke into uncontrollable laughter "Just like in Robin Hood. And what about this dog Mr. Gordon" pointing to a completely black dog.<br />
<br />
"Oh. That's Shadow. She is dark and she always follows me around. Just like me Shadow"<br />
<br />
"Wow. That's so cool. And what about this dog. The one wagging its tail"<br />
<br />
"Thats Gordon Junior. He reminds me of me. You can call him Junior if you want"<br />
<br />
"Yes. He is like you. Mysterious but kind. You are an awesome neighbour, Mr. Gordon. Will you be my friend?"<br />
<br />
"Yes ofcourse. I will be glad to" Gordon replied happily..<br />
<br />
"Thanks! Gotta run now Mr. Gordon. Mum might get worried. See you later!"<br />
<br />
"Bye Steve"<br />
<br />
Gordon could not remember the last time he had felt so happy. He went into his garage and quietly threw something into the dustbin. It was the rope he was planning to kill himself with.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-25242702982825432782012-01-15T23:37:00.000-08:002012-01-15T23:37:02.113-08:00A Street Dog's Absurd Tale<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">It was with blank eyes and a blanker heart that the dog saw the world with<br />
<br />
The world is incompetent in dealing with me, it thought<br />
And that's why I am in such a state, it thought<br />
<br />
Its morbid self pity and self loathing prevented it from scavenging the bins<br />
Other dogs with better moods and lesser sins were more victorious<br />
<br />
I better not move or i will be hit by a truck<br />
If the food comes its good, if it doesn't then nobody cares a fuck<br />
<br />
A paw away there was a biscuit to be had<br />
But sleep was beckoning and it was necessary to be sad<br />
<br />
Where misery is glory and sadness is to be tomtommed<br />
That life is well lived and even better died<br />
<br />
It's a dog's life after all</div>Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-56478854941518072882011-03-17T07:44:00.000-07:002011-03-17T07:44:31.770-07:00Just a thought<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">He wondered why he kept getting the same thoughts again and again. Over and over again. The same lines and the same words. The sameness was hurting him. The same idea kept repeating over and over again. Again and again with the same lines and the same words. He wondered why.</div>Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-4266215149552094052011-01-27T13:13:00.000-08:002017-10-12T09:59:56.654-07:00Dan<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Dan was lying down on the bed in his bedroom. There is nothing out of the ordinary about this. But Dan was doing too much of it. The only time Dan had left his room in the last week was to eat in the cheap restaurant opposite his apartment. His room was covered with layers of dust and sprinkled with cobwebs all over the place. His room was utterly disorganised, just like the state of his mind. Dan was almost getting comfortable with his decay. He read something, watched a bit of TV, listened to a few songs and slept the rest of the time. Dan was so confused about what to do, that he did nothing. <br />
<br />
His life had come to a standstill.Till the last week, he had a decent paying job. He had an ability to keep the HR managers at bay and thus was pretty much satisfied with the job too. And then all of a sudden, decided he had enough and tendered his resignation. He had to forsake a month's salary for leaving his job without notice but he dint mind. He tried to remember the words he had said to justify his resignation. The words were trickling in."Not job material", "Entrepreneurial", "Pursuit of passion". Now that he looked back, those words were mere excuses to disguise his lack of planning in quitting his job. He quit because he had felt intense suffocation for a matter of two minutes and that resulted in the resignation.<br />
<br />
Now, the only thought that was running in his head was the excuse that he was going to give his mum for not finding a new job yet, when she would call worriedly in a few hours expecting some restoration of sense in her son. Searching for an excuse was being too much trouble so he decided that he would tell her the truth instead. The only issue that was really plaguing him was he did not know what he wanted. Everyone else were so certain of what they wanted. Dan hated his utter cluelessness. He had to find a way.<br />
<br />
"I have to think" Dan thought. His struggle with the lack of understanding over his existence overwhelmed him. He wished he was like the others who did what others told them to do. Dan had a largely uneventful life like the others and that's why he wondered why he could not behave like the others too. Make money, recreate and procreate. And like them, basically try feeling good about yourself and feel important from time to time. It was such a simple and easy way to live Dan thought. Yet he could not follow that path. Dan knew what he did not want but he did not know what he wanted. He had no idea of it. He did not want to follow the path everyone else did but had no alternate path in his head ready.<br />
<br />
Danny smiled to himself. Even infants were better functioning than he was. They cried when they wanted milk, play or a cuddle. And here he was, a 26 year old grown up turning into a semi vegetable with hardly any decision making capacity. The world wasn't such a difficult place to live in as long as you had an ounce of purpose. Take away that ounce and you will have a person like me, Dan reasoned.<br />
<br />
"Life is an illusion" he had heard people say to sound intelligent. Right after saying that, the same people dived headlong into the mundanities of life. "Life Is an illusion and everybody is a part of it, me included" Dan thought. " The illusion will deceive me too. Just like my fellow participants. The trick is to not try to solve the puzzle because the puzzle is unsolvable. The dice of the universe is always loaded against you." Dan was half proud half embarrassed with his philosophizing but happy that atleast things were beginning to make a little sense. The point was not to understand or question the point of existence. The point was to go about that existence as it comes. Like watching a movie for the first time. With that thought Dan went back to sleep.<br />
<br />
Dan woke up 10 hours later, with his head feeling dazed and foggy. Too much of sleep was giving him an intense hangover which he had never felt with any amount of alcohol. Somehow he felt should have felt better than what he was feeling right now. After all life was beginning to make a little sense right. Or maybe it was not. Maybe it was an illusion after all. He started feeling disillusioned. Disillusioned with the way his life was progressing. This was not how his life was supposed to be. Right before falling asleep he had reasoned that life was like a movie that you are watching for the first time. But what if that movie was boring and was progressing backwards. What do you do with a movie you find dreary. You either switch off the DVD player or you move out of the theatre.<br />
<br />
Now he understood why people committed suicide. "This movie is so crappy, I cant watch it no more". In the same lines " This life is so crappy, I cant live it no more". Dan could not help feeling overwhelmed at this thought. He was either too crazy or he was too wise for his age. Or maybe he was neither. Maybe he was just a normal 26 year old fighting usual pangs of disillusionment. Dan knew he wanted to be normal, but hated the thought of being normal. "Do I want to break away from the crowd or do I want to break into the crowd" Dan thought. Dan's headache was getting worse. His confusion had run a full circle.<br />
<br />
Suddenly Dan felt an intense feeling of loneliness. He wished he could tell someone of his suffocation. Anyone. But he knew that everyone would be too busy. Too busy leading a life of direction. A direction, most probably shown by someone else. Dan wondered why he could not follow the direction his mother had shown him. Get a job. Settle down. Save for your retirement. Which meant to Dan leading a life of boredom and despair. I will rather lead a directionless life and face the scorn of people than follow a direction set forth by someone else, Yes! I will lead a life on my own terms.<br />
<br />
Dan felt a surge of excitement with this thought and decided that enough was enough. He experienced a resolve and determination that had been missing all this while. Illusion or not, life was worth it and he would try to live life to its fullest. It was this moment that changed Dan's life. He could sense a huge burden fall off his shoulders as if he had been carrying a rucksack full of stuff all along. A sudden random thought managed to swing Dan's life from despair and provided him with a ray of hope. Dan took a deep breath and felt alive again. Dan had reborn.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<br /></div>
Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-26642902463983948212011-01-11T10:49:00.000-08:002011-01-11T10:49:43.010-08:00For your eyes onlyCherry's head was spinning around. Everything was revolving. Cherry put on her glasses to make sense of the world, but the glasses made the world rotate as well as revolve. Cherry finally understood what her Science teacher had meant when he had said that the Earth moves on its axis by revolving and rotating. Cherry instantly felt better. If she could make sense of the world, surely her life was no big deal. "To hell with life" she suddenly declared in her thoughts, "Why make sense of a thing that is inherently nonsensical". That thought brought a smile on her face. She prided herself on being a nonsense person. Everyone else claimed that they were a no-nonsense person but Cherry claimed instead that she was a totally nonsensical person. Cherry wondered where she had gained such kind of wisdom at such a young age.<br />
<br />
Cherry shook herself off her ruminations as she had a UN job interview scheduled in an hour. She readied herself quickly and galloped away towards the place where her interview was going to be held. She was excited and nervous at the same time. This was her dream job. It would give her full freedom and autonomy to bring forth her ideas to the real world. She had a feeling that she was going to impress the interviewers out of their minds. "Hungry and poor people of the world, here I come" Cherry thought cheerily to herself. Thats when she heard a whining noise right behind her. The noise had come from the most sickly dog she had ever seen. Its bones were sticking out and it was so thin that the wind would have taken the dog along with it, like a piece of paper.<br />
<br />
Cherry instantly realised that the dog would die if help was not given to it. She forgot all about the interview, picked up the dog and took it to the nearest Vet. It did not take the Vet Doctor two seconds to realise that this was an emergency case. She arranged for a glucose drip to be put into the dog and fed it with milk. 3 hours later it looked like the dog would live. It had been abandoned by its mother and was left alone to survive the harsh winter by itself. Cherry vowed to herself that she would help the dog survive the ordeal. The dog had angelic eyes. Cherry fell in love with the dog and named it Lil Cherry.<br />
<br />
Suddenly Cherry remembered that she had forgotten all about the interview. Her heart sank. There was no way the UN interviewers would entertain her after she came so late. She became dejected and started crying noiselessly, with her tears dropping on her palms. Lil Cherry who was nearby started licking Cherry's palms lovingly. "Its all worth it" Cherry thought and gently kissed Lil Cherry on her eyes.Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-90557254207986110022011-01-07T11:20:00.000-08:002014-01-07T10:33:23.654-08:00Sleep induced writings<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
You meet someone who is you<br />
And you wonder why you feel hatred.<br />
<br />
You scoff at his dreams and laugh at his life<br />
Hoping desperately you are not him.<br />
<br />
You see the reflection in the mirror<br />
And see yourself in the human race.<br />
<br />
Life runs in a circle of delusion<br />
After running the whole circle, old age relapses into childhood.<br />
<br />
Your life is as random as a thought<br />
And thats when you realise that life is about nothing at all.<br />
<br />
Chasing dreams that vanish once you reach them<br />
You get fooled by what one chap said was randomness<br />
<br />
What is important is you have a smile at the end of the day<br />
What is important is you dont curse the alarm for waking you up the next day.<br />
<br />
Life is not black, white or grey. Life is sweet.<br />
As sweet as brown sugar.</div>
Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-48030315982943959002011-01-03T10:49:00.000-08:002011-01-28T22:11:34.703-08:00Merchant of Soul<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I hated travelling in planes. They always made me sick. I looked at my co passenger, Mahesh, who was busy reading a magazine. I had shared the routine pleasantries with him and asked him the boring usual questions about what he did for a living. He turned out to be a bank branch manager at some place which i dont remember the name of anymore. He seemed a boring unassuming person who did not have much excitement in his life. The only thing I had found interesting about him was the fact that he was unmarried inspite of being around 40 years. That intrigued me because I had never heard of a 40 year old unmarried banker before. Bankers are conservative folks. They like to have a wife and kids as soon as they could. Maybe this guy was not as boring as I thought he was. I felt like striking a conversation with him. As if reading my mind he asked<br />
<br />
"Where did you get that deep gash on your cheeks from"<br />
<br />
"That was from a bungee jumping accident I had a few years back. The rope that was tied to my legs got cut and I crashed to the ground" I replied<br />
<br />
" I m sure you never tried bungee jumping again"<br />
<br />
"Never. It did a lot of damage. I lost a few of my teeth. These front teeth you see, they are fake. And I was in the hospital for around 4 months"<br />
<br />
"Its lucky that you survived. I hope you know that"<br />
<br />
"I know I m lucky. It was a harrowing experience. I was very close to death. Its a good feeling to be alive"<br />
<br />
"I know what you mean. It feels great to be alive"<br />
<br />
"Why? Did you come close to death as well?"<br />
<br />
"In a way. Yes. I could have died as well"<br />
<br />
"Tell me about it. I m all ears"<br />
<br />
"I havent told anyone about it. Its too personal"<br />
<br />
"Hey. This is not fair. I told you about my experience. And now u need to tell me about yours"<br />
<br />
"Well alright. if you say so. But its a pretty long story. Do you want to hear it?"<br />
<br />
"Sure. I like stories. If its good I may even write it" I said.<br />
<br />
"It goes a long time back. Around 20 years. I was sleeping in a place that I rented a few days prior to that day. And in the middle of the night, I woke up suddenly. I m a light sleeper. Then I saw a white translucent light creeping around my cupboard. And the weird thing was that the white translucent light had eyes"<br />
<br />
"You mean it was a ghost?" I asked him.<br />
<br />
"Yes. Thats what I mean"<br />
<br />
"Surely you are pulling my leg. But anyways carry on if you will. It sounds pretty interesting. I might as well have a listen"<br />
<br />
"Well, the ghost seemed surprised at me waking up all of a sudden. It started panicking, and in the panic, it started swirling round and round in search of a hole to escape"<br />
<br />
"Gosh. Really you saw a ghost?. You must have been freaked out"<br />
<br />
"Oh yes. I was freaked out out of my wits. I shouted and screamed till my flatmates next door came running to my room to see what had happened. All my books and all my belongings were scattered all over the room. She, the ghost did it while swirling around the room."<br />
<br />
"This seems to be out of a Ramsay brothers movie. Are u sure you dint dream it. Maybe you slept-walk and in your sleep you must have disturbed the room while imagining the ghost"<br />
<br />
"In the beginning even I had come to the same conclusion. As the windows were closed and the door was closed. I thought I must have hallucinated and slept walk as you suggested. Thats why I dint even leave the place for another one. But I had not imagined it"<br />
<br />
"Why?"<br />
<br />
"Because I saw her again the next day as well. The ghost. I was reading a book the next day and there she was staring at me. This time she seemed comfortable when she noticed me looking at her, she just kept looking at me. sitting in a corner. And neither did I scream. Even I kept looking at her. Her stare was almost mesmerizing. She never talked. She just stared"<br />
<br />
This banker was saying the most incredible things. He dint look like a raving lunatic. But he definitely talked like one. He spoke as if he was talking about an unexpected roommate rather than a ghost. I was not believing him but I was piqued enough to know more.<br />
<br />
"This is creeping me out. Are you sure you are not delusional?" I asked rather honestly.<br />
<br />
"Maybe I was. Maybe I was not. But you havent heard the creepy part yet. After that day I really wanted to leave. But somehow I also wanted to see her again. See her eyes again. Her figure was not easy to discern, but her eyes were really prominent. When she looked at me, I could see adoration in her eyes"<br />
<br />
At these words, I could not help laughing. This was developing into a love story. And the weird part was that he was saying it so seriously.<br />
<br />
"I cant believe you. You are acting as if the ghost was in love with you. Which is totally unbelievable"<br />
<br />
"Sure, the ghost was in love with me. You got that right. But its not the love you are imagining. Even ghosts become lonely. And she was very lonely. When I discovered her, it was an escape from her intense loneliness"<br />
<br />
"I have no words to say. But please carry on"<br />
<br />
"We had a few more staring sessions that week. She would appear suddenly. I would be tying my shoelaces and there she would be, staring at me. You have no idea what I went through at that time. I was going crazy. I used to imagine she was around even outside that room. I could sense her around me all the time, even though I could not see her. I did not say it to anybody, fearing that they would put me in an institution or worse, take me to a psychiatrist. I had to bear all this alone"<br />
<br />
He was saying it so seriously, I couldnt help symphathise with him. I really felt he needed a trip to the psychiatrist though and I thought it made sense that he dint tell his story to anyone.<br />
<br />
"Why dint u change the room?" I asked<br />
<br />
"Thats the thing. I just could not do that. I did not want to go away from her. I wanted her to leave me but i dint want to let go of her. It was really comforting to see her staring at me like that. But I used to feel messed up after she vanished. I felt like a Junkie does. Desperately wanting to leave the habit but just did not have the control to do it. I started changing. Started getting paranoid and felt that everybody was staring at me. Staring like her"<br />
<br />
What he was saying was shaking my whole foundation of reality and rationality and yet there was a tiny part in my brain that wanted to believe him.<br />
<br />
"Why dint you signal her to leave you alone. If she cared for you, she would have left you alone. Instead of driving you nuts like that"<br />
<br />
"Oh yes. I begged and pleaded. She would not appear for a few days and then after a few days, I would see her peeping at me from the corner of the room. And you know what, I used to feel relieved when she would arrive because I was going crazy without her too. Then one day, I could not take the whole thing anymore. While she was staring at me, I took out a knife and acted like I would slit my veins if she dint leave me. But she seemed pleased that I was going to kill myself"<br />
<br />
"Is it because if you died, then you could join her as a ghost. Is that why?"<br />
<br />
"Yes. I guess. That smile in her eyes deterred me from killing myself. I thought if I killed myself, I would still not be able to escape from her. That, coupled with the fear of dying, ensured that I dint kill myself. Or else, I would have"<br />
<br />
"I m creeped out of my wits. You are scaring me like hell. How did you finally manage to get rid of her. I hope she was not too hurt when you left her"<br />
<br />
"Who said anything about leaving her. I never left her. I can see her even right now. She is right behind you"<br />
<br />
I looked back quickly. I could not see anything except passengers removing their seatbelts.<br />
<br />
"What" I asked him almost in a stutter. I was totally psyched out and I was clutching wildly at the handle of my seat.<br />
<br />
"Oh my God" he replied " You are sweating profusely. Listen it was just a joke. I was playing a prank on you all along. I m so sorry. The plane seems to have landed. We have to part ways now"<br />
<br />
"Not funny Mahesh. Not funny at all." I said. He just waved at me and smiled while moving towards the exit.<br />
<br />
I would have believed him that he was playing a prank had I not seen him wink at someone right behind me. There was nobody I could see behind me.</div>Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-61755188911289679082011-01-01T15:52:00.000-08:002011-01-02T00:36:47.616-08:00Raghav"Do you want to play with me Mummy?" Raghav said.<br />
<br />
"No not now Raghav. I have so much work to do. It is your sister's wedding in a few days. Go play with your sister"<br />
<br />
"OK" replied Raghav sadly. But the thought of playing with his sister interested him and he ran to her room excitedly.<br />
<br />
"Please play cops and robbers with me na didi" he told his sister.<br />
<br />
"Go away Raghav. Cant you see that I talking on the phone"<br />
<br />
"But its been ages since you played anything with me"<br />
<br />
"Really you are missing me. Me too. I m sorry but my baby brother is pestering me. Give me a minute. RAGHAV. Get out of the room. Sorry, what were you saying Tony"<br />
<br />
Raghav ambled along slowly away from the room. His only option left in the house was his elder brother Raman. He expectantly went to the room of his brother hoping that his brother was in a good mood. Otherwise his brother was very nasty and would slap him if he acted naughty.<br />
<br />
"Will u play with me Raman"<br />
<br />
"You are stinking. And you are wearing the same shirt and pant for the past 4 days. And look at your hands. They are so dirty". Raman slapped Raghav hard and said " Dont come into my room until u have had a bath you stinking Urchin"<br />
<br />
Raghav got dejected. It seemed that even Raman was in a bad mood that day. Raghav called up his friend Tarun to ask if he was free. Tarun's mum picked up the phone.<br />
<br />
"Aunty is Tarun home?"<br />
<br />
"Who is this?"<br />
<br />
"This is Raghav"<br />
<br />
"Just a second"<br />
<br />
Then Raghav heard the voice of Tarun saying " mum tell him I have gone out and wont be back for a while"<br />
<br />
"He is not home Raghav.You can call back after a few hours" Tarun's mother said and kept the phone.<br />
<br />
Raghav tried to hold back his tears after hearing this. Nobody wanted to play with him he thought. His father too was always busy working and never had time for him. Raghav then tried his luck with his mother yet again and hoped she was free<br />
<br />
"Mummy nobody wants to play with me"<br />
<br />
"Go outside and play with the other kids. I cant play with you. I have so much cooking to do"<br />
<br />
"But Mummy, I dont want to play with the other kids. I want to listen to a story from you"<br />
<br />
"Not now Raghav, I dont have the time"<br />
<br />
"You dont love me dont you Mummy. Nobody loves me"<br />
<br />
"Stop being silly Raghav". Just then the phone rang and Raghav's mother ran to pick it up.<br />
<br />
Raghav started crying and nobody was around to console him. He started thinking "Nobody wants me. Everyone hate me. If i die, it will be so much fun. Then they will finally value me. They should have realised that they should have played with me."<br />
<br />
Raghav excitedly ran to the terrace that was located above the 6th floor. It seemed like a jolly good game to him. He was fearless in his ignorance. He jumped without hesitation and he felt like he was flying like the Superman when he was hurtling towards the ground. Raghav had an intense wish to play with the toy Superman that he had kept in his cupboard and did not want to die anymore. That was his last wish as his body crashed headfirst into the ground.Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-21017262018337917462010-12-22T11:41:00.000-08:002010-12-22T11:41:16.458-08:00The symphony of lifeSam was confused whether to live or to kill himself. The confusion was intolerable. Living meant that he had to live with the ignominy everyday. His bad policies as the head of the business had meant the bankruptcy of the business. And with it the money and hopes of millions of investors had vanished. Within weeks he had turned from a multimillionaire to a man faced with a gigantic debt. Faced with these thoughts he thought suicide was the only recourse. Anything to run away from the mounting debt. Anything to flee the harsh reality of life.<br />
<br />
Sam had been a good person even when he was rich. He had given away half his wealth in philanthropy and had always lent a helping hand to anyone who asked. Now, once he was branded a failure, everyone shirked away from helping him climb the hole he had dug himself in.<br />
<br />
The empire that he had diligently built over 3 decades had been frittered away in a few weeks. The medicines which his business manufactured to cure common cold turned out to have the side effects of causing cancer and weakening the immunity system. The discovery of the side effects led to a barrage of lawsuits from all over the country. And Sam saw his business crumbling in front of him. He lost all his money, went into debt to pay for the lawsuits and most painfully he had blood in his hands. His medicines had destroyed lives and families.<br />
<br />
Sam was crestfallen as he feeling hopeless. If it wasnt for his wife, he would have killed himself long time back. His wife Stella would be heartbroken if he killed himself and Sam too could not bear to live without her. If only there was a way to get out of the mess, he would repay the debt and live a simple life with Stella for the rest of his life. Sam had never given up in the face of problems before. If he did so now, it would mean deserting Stella. And what would Stella think of him if he killed himself. A coward who could not even tolerate a business setback. No, that would not do Sam thought. He would live and somehow survive the ordeal rather than disappoint Stella. Yes, Sam thought, I will live. All he needed was 30 million dollars. That was the amount he needed to repay the debt. After that, he could start with a clean slate. His many years of business experience and his business acumen would ensure he got a decent job which would mean that he and Stella could atleast live a decent life with that money. He remembered that he had made a 100 million dollars contribution to the Bill Gates Foundation a few years back. He would go to Bill Gates himself and surely his request for some 30 million dollars would not be refused. Sam smiled. There was hope after all. Once he repaid his debt he would save enough money to construct a Cancer Hospital to redeem himself from the guilt that he was feeling everyday. After a long time a wish to survive developed inside him. And all this was due to his dearest Stella. What would he have done without his dearest Stella. He bought a bunch of sweet smelling flowers and almost ran back to his home. Stella would be so happy to see a smile on his face after such a long time, Sam thought. He opened the door and saw Stella talking on the phone. Stella's shoulders were drooped in a defeated posture. That would all change Sam thought. Then Sam saw Stella talking on the phone " Now that Sam has lost all his money, there is no point in staying with him. I have already called up a divorce attorney. I wished he had been bankrupt 10 years back. Atleast I would not have been with such a boring person for these many years"<br />
<br />
Sam was no longer confused after hearing these words. He jumped out of the balcony and killed himself.Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-49595219944629910762010-12-18T14:17:00.000-08:002011-01-20T00:37:03.326-08:00The axis of evil"I Have heard God" said Janus.<br />
<br />
"You are crazy" his friend Mott replied. " What did your God say. That you are his chosen one or did he tell you that you are his son"<br />
<br />
"My God says that I will have to be a Saviour from evil"<br />
<br />
"Saviour from evil eh. Very original. Quit Joking buddy. I have other things in hand. I have a whole newspaper to handle"<br />
<br />
"I have to pass on God's message to the people. Can you publish it for me"<br />
<br />
"You really have gone crazy my friend. I have to arrange a meeting with a quack for you. You can tell him whatever Mr. God told you."<br />
<br />
" I m just asking for a 10 line article. Surely you can manage that."<br />
<br />
"look. I know you for 10 years. And you are among the sanest people I know. I will publish your thing but i m going to give a humorous touch to it, or else I will be the laughing stock. And after that you have to promise me you are coming with me to the psychiatrist once it's published"<br />
<br />
"God's word has to be known. He will be pleased. Spread the word that due to the degeneration of the people, the Devil wants to take over everything. The forces of devil are merciless, cruel and powerful. In USA , thousands will be dead this month. This is the word of God"<br />
<br />
"Buddy, my newspaper is read by millions of people. There is no room for conspiracy theories in there. But your God knows that people need a laugh nowadays. I will make sure that your message is taken as a joke."<br />
<br />
" The believers just need a sign. Just a word from the almighty is enough. You may laugh now. But once the forces of evil are at your doorstep you will realise God's word"<br />
<br />
"I m arranging the meeting with the Doc this Sunday and your message will be "spread" tomorrow"<br />
<br />
" Let the war with evil begin"<br />
<br />
Two weeks later.<br />
<br />
"Janus, you have to come with me to see the doctor. I did as you said, but you have to keep your word"<br />
<br />
" My word is not important. The wishes of my Lord are important. His words are important."<br />
<br />
"God, Janus. What has happened to you. Please come to your senses. You are becoming delusional. God did not speak to you. You imagined it. I have to be honest with you. You saved my son's life. And I will be forever grateful to you. And that is why I m being brutally honest with you. I havent slept for a week now because I m so worried. You are driving me crazy too Janus. Atleast hear me out Janus. You can watch the TV later"<br />
<br />
"You need to watch the TV but. Maybe then you will believe God's word"<br />
<br />
Mott froze when he saw a news shown on TV. He wouldnt believe it. 50000 people were believed to be dead in one of the deadliest terrorist attacks. A very high intensity bomb exploded in a skyscraper in Chicago during office hours and the whole building collapsed. Mott thought that this was some sort of a cosmic practical joke till he saw the dead bodies on TV"<br />
<br />
" This has to be the Chinese venting out their hostility. But they will pay for this. This is unimaginable"<br />
<br />
" These are the forces of evil. My sweet lord had warned you and the people already. I was just his messenger"<br />
<br />
"You almost seem happy that this attack happened. You think that you were right, but let me tell you that this was a random co incidence. Nothing else"<br />
<br />
"I will leave that for the people to judge. They have read the Master's message some time back. This prophecy is enough for the faithful"<br />
<br />
"Yes. This would be enough for most of the people who read your message. I dont doubt it. Sure enough. 20000 people have already commented on our message about your message. Looks like they believe that you are their saviour"<br />
<br />
"And I am. This time I will communicate my sweet Master's message through the internet'<br />
<br />
"Janus, this is not the time to fool around. i request you not to do that. You will cause panic and make the situation worse. Please be logical. I used to envy your logic. You seem to have lost it but"<br />
<br />
"My logic is intact. That is why I m the Chosen one and you are not. The Lord tells me that a very important person of USA will die. We have to be ready for his death. I need to tell the believers to search for the successor to take on the evil"<br />
<br />
"Surely Janus you cannot publish that on the net. Cant you see that you just got lucky. You just got lucky. Dont you understand it"<br />
<br />
" You are foolish and ignorant. I cant waste time talking to you. A lot of responsibilities are on my shoulders. The word of the Creator has to be posted"<br />
<br />
A week later, Mott was at his office when he heard that the President was assassinated in a suicide bomb attack. The suicide bomber was a white male"<br />
<br />
"Maybe the Russians are involved in this Mott. Why dont you track that line. I will send you a bunch of investigative journos" The chief Editor told Mott<br />
<br />
"Sure Boss. That would be Ok" Mott replied. His eye had a faraway look. He knew that the Russians were not that important to him as much as the flurry of activity that would be happening on the net due to Janus' prophecies.<br />
<br />
"Mott, we have an issue. The CIA chief just called. One of the contributors to this newspaper predicted both the events. He must have been an insider. Gosh, These are exciting times for the newspaper"<br />
<br />
Mott had already left the place to leave for Hotel Sherathon in New York where Janus was residing. When he reached he saw Janus surrounded by a coterie of followers. Janus had started keeping a beard and hadnt trimmed his hair for quite a while. Inspite of everything, Mott smiled. No matter how Good janus was at prophetic skills, he scored low on originality. Janus saw Mott and gave him a triumphant smile<br />
<br />
"Mott I m glad you have come. I m scared without you. I cannot handle my followers adoration. You have to manage them. I m the reincarnation of an oriental diety. Thats what my followers say I m. But i dont like to be glorified like this. I m just a messenger of truth"<br />
<br />
"Janus, I still dont believe you. Do you know that there is a woman who won the national lottery twice. In today's world, prophecies like the ones you made can pretty much happen. You just got lucky with the timing"<br />
<br />
" Mott, you disgust me. I think that you are jealous that you do not have the visions I do. Because you were my only friend I used to have, I will give you one more chance to believe me. Very soon,the axis of evil will try to do a daredevil stunt that will stun the world. When this vision comes true even you will believe me. Now I have to leave. I have an interview with the media scheduled"<br />
<br />
800 kms away, a group of people were celebrating the President's assassination. They were a secret society who called themselves Satanists. They believed that they were the descendants of Satan himself and prided themselves to be evil. The society existed for centuries and its members were quietly planning an event that would mark their arrival to open society. the proclamation from Janus in the newspaper was a sign that they were looking for all along. That got the machinery moving that they had put in place.<br />
<br />
Their head was a nuclear Scientist for a US reactor and it was Child's play for him to steal the chemicals required for the high intensity bomb.<br />
<br />
When Janus next proclaimed that a very important was going to be killed, the Satanists took that as a sign. A Satanist blasted himself a little distance away from the US President's car. The ability to make such powerful bombs lied only with American Nuclear researchers, among whom the chief of Satanists was a part of.<br />
<br />
When Janus predicted that the axis of evil would surprise the world, the chief satanist smiled. It was time to deal with the messenger of good.<br />
<br />
The next day, a plane crashed into the Sherathon hotel killing 300 people. It created chaos and panic all over the world. Janus was right yet again. But it was last prophecy he ever made. He was among the 300 killed.Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-27731023247108325082010-11-10T07:24:00.000-08:002010-11-10T07:24:04.409-08:00A bad hair dayKeshav was a lucky person in a way. He did not have to shave that regularly because his hair growth was less. Otherwise he was pretty unlucky. He was effeminate in nature and thus all his manhood was spent in proving it. His schoolmates used to taunt him with nicknames like "girlie" and those taunts used to echo in his head long after they had been said. He longed for a decent friendship with someone but as soon as he neared getting close to someone, the other person would remark about his feminine tendencies. After that, Keshav could not bring himself to be friends with the other person as he lacked self esteem and did not consider himself worthy.<br />
<br />
The one person whom he truly adored was his father. His father was a simple person and treated Keshav with warmth and affection. Keshav, in return, would do anything to gain his father's approval. Keshav's main aim in life was to buy a sparkling high end Mercedes for his dad. He used to envision the pride that his father would feel and the happiness in his father's eyes. These thoughts never failed to propel him in his pursuit of wealth.<br />
<br />
One day, two acquaintances came to meet Keshav and Keshav excitedly introduced them to his father. On meeting them, his father said " Keshav, look at the fine beard these two men have and then look at you. You are such a girl." Keshav felt his heart sinking at these words. He tried to give a smile and replied " Atleast I save money on the shaving razor."Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-7376458863118437932010-10-26T11:43:00.000-07:002010-11-10T07:26:14.935-08:00Tom's day outTom was a wasted genius. Everyone thought Tom was a nobody. Nobody even gave Tom much of a thought. And that was how Tom preferred it. He had his mouth organ and that was the best friend he had. The other musical instruments understood him as well, but the mouth organ was something that he had deeply bonded with.<br />
<br />
Tom could not speak clearly, and strangely his voice had a rough jarring tone which was deeply unmusical. But his hands did the talking and more than made up for the lack of vocal expression. It did not take him more than a few hours to learn an instrument and a few weeks to master it. But his talent was known to no one. When his father discovered Tom playing the mouth organ he threatened to confiscate it or throw it away in the drain if Tom did not study instead.<br />
<br />
Tom was feeling particularly sad as his father had kept up the promise and taken away Tom's beloved mouth organ. It was a week since he had played any music. His hands were itching to play something. He could live easily without talking but not playing music was utmost suffocation for him as that was his only mode of expression. He felt like an addict in search of his weakness. He ran to the music room in his school hoping that it was empty. He could not play if people were around. Luckily the music room was deserted. He looked around for a mouth organ but settled for piano when he could not find it.<br />
<br />
As soon as his fingers touched the keys he was a changed person. It was his craziest performance ever. He had never felt this alive before. The music somehow magically conveyed all the frustration that his stammering lips could not. The music itself carried hope to Tom that all was not lost. That he could co exist in the society too. He was not as maladjusted as he thought he was. In the form of his music. he could offer something of value as well. In his haste to play music Tom had forgotten that it was school hours. When he finished, he noticed a bunch of people standing behind him. For the first time in his life, Tom was happy that there was an audience which had witnessed his performance. He hoped his performance had an impact on others as well, as much as it had on him. He smiled at them. The crowd replied with angry stares and hateful gazes. A school exam was going on in the class next door, and it had taken the authorities 15 minutes to knock down the door of the music class. A teacher nearby took Tom by the ears and detained him in the headmaster's room where he got the shouting of his life.<br />
<br />
The headmaster felt highly satisfied that he had brought a culprit to book and showed him the right path. His shoutings at Tom also vented out the frustration that he was feeling. For not getting the due recognition that he deserved about the fact that the mayor had shook hands with him.<br />
<br />
Tom went away quietly. His hands had stopped itching and he no longer felt the urge to play his mouth organ.Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5938039676900810557.post-56281837118418244912010-10-02T00:02:00.000-07:002010-10-02T00:11:00.808-07:00RobbieThere was something intriguing about Robbie. I never knew I wanted to write a story about him. Then one fine day I met him and I told him " Robbie, I am going to write a story about you". The words just came out. there was nothing intentional or unintentional about it. It was the most natural thing in the world. It was as natural as wanting to eat an ice cream when you see someone else eating it and before you know it, your wallet is lighter and your stomach is not.<br />
<br />
When i got down to writing the story, I started regretting it. The story involved getting into the head of a person and begin to think like him. This is the most unnatural thing in the world. I wanted to chuck the idea of writing a story and eat ice cream instead.<br />
<br />
But my interpretation of Robbie has to be told. Because Robbie being Robbie will never remind me to keep my word about writing a story about him. Or else I would be eating an ice cream right now. By now Robbie might even have forgotten the conversation about me writing a story about him. Some people like Willie would have told their great grand children that somebody wanted to write a story about them. But Robbie would not care. He would already be in the lookout for the next new adventure.<br />
<br />
My interpretation can be done and got over with in one simple sentence. Robbie is a Hedonist. His wily, slimy, cunning and dishonest eyes keep looking for the next new instrument of pleasure. He is addicted to addictions. And thats why I dont see a rosy future for him. Already I feel his mind is becoming numb. Numb to control, numb to responsibilities and most dangerously he is becoming numb to emotions like fear. Thats the danger any Hedonist faces in his life. Hedonists can be most found in two locations. Hospitals or prisons. They have a streak of self destruction in them. Hopefully, Robbie wont self destruct. He is a great guy. One of the funniest and the wittiest around. He loves everybody and thus loves no one in particular.<br />
<br />
MBA's are the creatures who are achievement seekers. Title, prestige, recognition, fame and money is what drives them. A need to feel superior is inbuilt in them. For Robbie, these qualities are conspicuous by their absence. He seems destined to a life of mediocrity because mediocrity is what he seeks. Mediocrity hardly needs responsibilities and that is what Robbie loves best. He loves a reckless life where the only purpose is to look for the next new adventure.Smiranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04297393157540828050noreply@blogger.com0