Buckle Up! We are hurtling towards a global stock market crash.

The title is self explanatory. We are headed towards a crash of biblical proportions. I do not mean to be a harbinger of bad news or a prophet of doom. It is the circumstance which compels me to articulate on the subject. Let me enumerate why I claim that we will shortly face financial rupture. 1. The AI Bubble: Bubbles are a hallmark of financial crises historically. For example, the internet bubble which accompanied the Dot Com boom and bust was finally pricked in March 2000 when fundamentals met reality. The market participants correctly assumed that Internet would revolutionize society but they got two things very wrong. a. The Timeline: The participants assumed that internet adoption would take place rapidly but in reality the pace was much more gradual. Once the true timeline became apparent, the markets had to quickly readjust profit and revenue assumptions. Since the stocks were heavily overvalued, tech stocks could not bear the shock of readjustment and NASDAQ quickly fell from the highs. b. The winner takes all effect: The markets assumed that the internet would reward companies in a proportionate manner as seen in other industries. Dozens of large companies existed in any segment in finance, manufacturing, consumption etc but internet sector had an inherent winner takes all effect which meant that only a handful of companies would benefit in a disproportionate manner. Only one or two players would go on to make meaningful returns in any segment (Like Amazon and E-Bay in E-Commerce) while the others perished quickly. This meant that most dot com stocks were doomed to failure. Similarly, markets are implying an unrealistic future when it comes to AI stocks. Just like Dot-Com, AI has become a buzzword to generate investor interest. AI may eventually have an extra-ordinary role in the future but the timeline of adoption will be much more gradual than what market is assuming. The investment boom in data-centers and GPUs which is fuelling the AI mania is based on hype rather than merit. Once markets face the truth that the unit economics do not make sense to merit such exaggerated valuations and astronomical investments, the house of cards will come crashing down. 2. The US China Trade war: Enough and more has been written and said about the Trump tariff tantrums. Both USA and China have demonstrated that they are at loggerheads with each other on the economic front. I do not wish to elucidate on the intricacies of the trade war as it has been well documented. Yet, equity stock markets across the globe have chosen to ignore the dangers and consequences emanating from the ongoing trade war. Markets assume that Trump Always Chicken Out (The TACO meme) once financial market corrects and this has lulled the participants into a false sense of complacency. In reality, markets have become completely disconnected from underlying fundamentals. The main reason for this disconnect is the abundance of liquidity. Central Banking actions post Covid have flushed financial institutions with excessive liquidity which has led to ballooning of asset prices. Asset managers and financial institutions across the globe are forced to invest in speculative assets even in the face of danger. The excessive returns have in turn pulled in the retail investor who does not want to be left out due to FOMO. This dangerous combination has led to asset prices being bid up continuously. The smallest of corrections are bought and this has disrupted the natural waves of asset price cycles. Gravity will eventually overcome these market distortions. Once the excessive liquidity dries up, it is just a matter of time for the equity markets to get upended. Markets are underestimating further escalation of tariff measures. USA is currently planning to place an additional 100% Tariff on China by November 1. If this measure is not rolled back, China too will place retaliatory Tariffs. The repercussions of these actions will be severe and it will lead to a severe global supply chain shock. So far, both countries have averted drastic steps but there is no guarantee that the November 1 deadline will be rolled back. Markets are facing an imminent crisis yet the indices are at an all time high willfully ignoring what is in front of us. The trade war can be the trigger for an apocalyptic crash. In such a scenario, panic will set in and stock prices will meltdown faster than an ice cream cone in the Sahara desert. 3. Japan debt crisis: Japan is trying to solve its debt crisis by taking on even more debt. Once the excess liquidity is exhausted, there will be a moment of reckoning. With a debt to GDP estimated to be around 235%, Japan is hooked to debt. The debt market is dependent on its central bank to print more money and keep on providing for its debt requirement. Recently, we have seen a paradigm shift in Japanese monetary policy. The Bank of Japan cannot keep buying government issued bonds as it already owns more than half of the Government bond market. The central bank is slowly moving away from its ultra loose monetary policy and moving towards quantitative tightening. This paradigm shift will unravel the true contours of the mess that reckless borrowing has inflicted in Japan. The Former Prime Minister of Japan, Shigeru Ishiba himself admitted in May 2025 that the financial situation of Japan is worse than that of Greece in 2009. In simple terms, it means that Japan is on the verge of bankruptcy. Excess liquidity has sugarcoated this reality but there is no denying the truth. Greece had to undergo deep financial restructuring and severe austerity to overcome its debt woes. Japan may have to undertake a similar exercise but it will be an extremely painful endeavor with global repercussions. 4. The Middle East crisis: The confrontation between Israel and other Middle Eastern countries has reached a boiling point. A major flashpoint in Middle East is the conflict between Israel and Iran. For the sake of its survival, Israel is ready to take drastic steps to maintain peace and stability. The drastic steps could involve sponsoring a regime change in Iran to thwart Iran’s nuclear ambitions. Any major escalation between these countries could mean the closure of the Strait of Hormuz which would mean the choking of the oil supply chain disrupting about 20% of global oil consumption. The resultant supply side shock would mean that crude oil price which is around 60 dollars per barrel goes into the triple digits. We saw a similar shock in the 1970s which led to global duress. The economic disharmony caused by spiking oil prices was one of the contributing factors towards Indira Gandhi declaring emergency in 1975. As India is a major importer of crude oil, any supply chain shock will create a huge reversal in Indian stock markets. This is not a speculative theory. The 12 day war in June between Israel and Iran could be a sign of things to come. What all of this portends for India: While nothing can be said with utmost certainty in financial markets, there is enough circumstantial evidence to suggest that we are currently in a bubble with overstretched valuations. Like all bubbles, this bubble too is waiting for a pin to prick it. The trigger for the crash can be any one of the reasons that I have mentioned above. There is a high probability that we have reached an inflection point where things will take a turn for the worse. Even gold price spiraling upwards is a warning signal that all is not well. The risk factor to my view is that the bubble can keep on bubbling higher but then it only means that the higher we go up the more we fall down eventually. India cannot escape the global repercussions of the crash. The global liquidity that has propped up asset prices all over the world has done the same for Indian stock markets as well. Hence, Indian stocks too will suffer when the bubble pops. Nifty is currently at around 25,600 as on 16th October 2025. My target for Nifty is 13,000 by December 2026. This is just my point of view. This is not financial advice. Please do your own due diligence. I reserve the right to be wrong. Author: Smiran Bhandari Note: This content is not AI generated.

Rahul Gandhi Prophecy

I received a divine message in 2023. Modi would become PM in 2024. In 2029, there will be a reversal of fortune and Rahul Gandhi will become PM in 2029. Enough Said.

The Mind Reader

It was a near perfect Sunday morning. Clear blue skies and a cool breeze which would kiss your face softly if you stepped outside. It was a great day to relax, unwind and get ready for the upcoming battles in the coming week. I made myself a cup of tea and started reading the newspaper. Tea and newspaper was a satisfying experience, especially on Sunday mornings. So, while I was reading the newspaper an ad caught my attention and it suggested an interesting way to spend my afternoon. A saint claimed that he was enlightened and was giving a discourse on the inner workings of our universe. I decided to attend the discourse as I had nothing better to do. I was mostly suspicious of Godmen and organised religion but the saint's claim of enlightenment made me curious to know more. Not that I believed in the concept of enlightenment but I definitely had a fascination for it. Listening to what the saint had to say would be an interesting experience.

Anyhow, I arrived at the place of discourse and saw that a substantial number of people were interested in what the self proclaimed saint had to say. I hoped whatever he had to say would be interesting enough to make my sunday afternoon worthwhile. I took my seat in the hall and eagerly awaited the saint's arrival. I was expecting an old gentleman in flowery robes and a beard that would reach till the man's stomach. But, I was quite surpised to see a young professional looking gentleman in his late-thirties. He wore a prim blue shirt and nicely fitting black pants with formal shoes to boot. His rimless glasses, clean shaven face and neatly combed hair reminded me of a news reporter. I could see that I was not the only one who was surprised as many of the people had bemused expressions on their face. The person sitting next to me thought he had arrived at a business conference accidentally until I assured him that he was indeed at the right place.

The saint began his discourse by clarifying that he was not really a saint but a philosopher. A philosopher who had experienced enlightenment and that's why people considered him a saint. His philosophy was quite straightforward and personally I thought that it was a ripoff of Buddha's teachings. Anyways, his idea was that all human actions emanated from one source. Thoughts. The stream of words and sentences that come in our heads quite randomly. Thoughts were random but they defined our lives and would be a precursor to our behaviour, actions, emotions and feelings. But his philosophy was not the reason he claimed enlightenment. He claimed he could read people's thoughts with pinpoint accuracy. And hence he could understand any person's feelings and emotions. He claimed he could even predict people's future actions as thoughts propelled action. To prove that he could read thoughts he would randomly pick five people from the audience and predict their thoughts. He was a human thought detecting machine. And he claimed only an enlightened being could be that. He argued that thoughts signified the true inner nature of an individual. After hearing these words, the atmosphere in the hall had become electrifying. The experience was akin to attending a magic show where incredible things could be witnessed. Even I was eager to see how things would proceed from here.

The saint initiated the process by randomly picking a woman in the audience as his first volunteer. The lady promptly walked to the stage and stood beside the saint. The saint explained that to access any person's thoughts he would have to gaze at the individuals eyes for a minute while holding the person's hands. He proceeded to hold the lady's hands and looked at her intensely for around a minute. "Whom have you lost recently my dear lady. I can see so much of grief in your thoughts" he asked her abruptly.

The lady seemed genuinely startled at this proclamation and she looked a little unhinged. " I lost my son three weeks ago" she answered slowly.

"And I sense guilt too in your thoughts. Do you feel you could have saved your son's life"

"Yes. I feel extremely guilty. I feel I could have taken better care of him. Maybe then he could have survived"

"No my lady. There is nothing that you could have done. You cannot fight destiny. No one can. Forsake your guilt. I can see that it is crushing your heart. Take a deep breath. Let go and be free."

"Thank you Sir" the lady replied gratefully and proceeded to take her seat in the crowd. The gathered crowd was both impressed and shocked at this magical display of mind reading. My logical brain was inferring that this was probably staged and rehearsed. But my instincts were telling me a different story altogether.  I felt that the reaction in the lady was extremely genuine. There seemed to be a visible improvement in the demeanor after the saint reassured her. Her drooping shoulders had picked up and it looked like a huge burden had been taken off her shoulders. That gave me reason to believe that perhaps it was not staged. Still, some people were just good actors and hence any judgement at this stage would be premature.

The saint then began to pick another person from the crowd. He picked a sleek and sophisticated person in his late twenties. The person was slightly hesitant to go to the stage as if he was scared of his thoughts being strip searched. But he eventually took the plunge and reached the stage.

The saint held both the volunteer's hands and looked at him squarely. After a minute or two, the saint remarked "You should not have come to the stage son. Now I know why you were fearing to come to the stage son. You wanted to hide your thoughts"

"No no. There is nothing like that" the sleek man stammered in a rather alarmed way.

"Ofcourse it is like that. I can sense fear in you. Fear due to infidelity. You have cheated on your wife haven't you"

The lady who was sitting next to the sleek man, presumably his wife, suddenly broke down at those words and started crying incessantly.

"It's not true. It's not true at all" denied the young man.

"Do not give me untruths and insult my powers by suggesting I am saying untruths" shouted the saint. "I suggest that you confess everything to your wife. the burden of lies will eventually eat you away to the core. Go and unburden yourself without regard to the consequences."

The sleek man stood there for a while before meekly nodding his head and proceeded to his seat. It looked like he was going to take the saint's advice and confess to his wife.

The whole family drama that had unfolded in front of our eyes had elicited a lot of gasps in the crowd. This time, nobody seemed to be in doubt about the saint's capabilities. Meanwhile, the sleek man and his wife had left the hall with the wife still crying profusely.

The third person the saint called for volunteering plainly refused to go to the stage. A few people laughed and someone in the crowd made a wisecrack statement of hidden affairs and dirty underwear being washed in public. I personally could not blame the person for not volunteering as the idea of having your thoughts being X-rayed publicly was indeed scary and not everyone's cup of tea.

Eventually, the third volunteer was found in the form of a thirty something male with a moustache. The saint again responded by holding both the hands and staring intensely at the volunteer. This time the saint reacted differently. He quietly hugged the volunteer and clenched his shoulders. "Do you want me to share your thoughts. I can understand if it's too personal" asked the saint.

"No. You can share whatever you have to say I have no problems with it."

"Thats very brave of you I must say. So, have you attempted it or are you planning it" the saint asked.

"Attempted?"

"Yes. I think you know what I mean. Suicide"

"I attempted it three days back. I was about to hang myself but my wife intervened and saved me"

This time there was an uproar in the crowd with quite a few "Oh my gods" from the people at this revelation. I was taken aback and shaken too. I observed the volunteer closely and saw a normal looking person. I could never have guessed that the person was suicidal.

"What led you to this situation. I am not able to pinpoint the exact reason" asked the saint.

"I lost all my money in the stock market. I gambled it all away" the volunteer replied solemnly.

"I do understand your anguish. But I suggest that you do not take this extreme step. If you go who will take care of your family. Do not orphan them. Restart your life. Get a job. And build your wealth again."

These words seemed to re-energize the volunteer. He nodded vigourously and worked back to his chair with what seemed like a spring in his step.

After this episode, I was virtually convinced of the saint's thought reading skills. And so was the crowd. Whether this constituted enlightenment was debatable but even I had to admit that what I was seeing was remarkable and extraordinary. After seeing the three volunteers, I was quite confident that the process was not staged. No one could be this good in acting. Not even Oscar award winners.

The saint called on the next volunteer. She was a middle aged woman, most probably a housewife. I cannot recount the exact details as her thoughts were mundane and unremarkable especially when compared to the other volunteers. She was worried that her daughter was not eating her food properly or something on those lines. One of the crowd yawned loudly at that. That was perhaps the most remarkable incident with regards to the fourth volunteer. Even the saint seemed a little disappointed at the anti-climax.

For the next volunteer, the saint pointed at the general direction of where I was sitting. "You!" he exclaimed. I looked around me wondering whom he had chosen.

"You in the yellow shirt" said the saint. Yellow shirt! I thought excitedly. That has to be me. I looked at my shirt and confirmed the colour. Of all the multitudes of people, I was chosen as a volunteer. Wow, what were the odds! I had no reason to object going to the stage as my thoughts were as boring as the lady's before me. After this, there would not be a semblance of doubt about the saint's thought reading abilities since I would be a part of the experiment.

My head was in a tizzy as I was walking towards the saint. I was extremely nervous and excited and my knees trembled as I walked. Someone was going to read my innermost thoughts and feelings and perhaps my innermost nature. I was generally skeptical of people who purported to do anything supernatural. But if there was ever a person who could read my mind the saint was one. I reached the stage and stood next to him. He clasped my hands as he had done with the others. His hands were ice-cold and sent shivers through my body. The first thing I noticed about him were his eyes. They seemed glazed and intoxicated. Yet he seemed in total control. He then went on to look at me intently. I realised that he was not looking at my eyes alone. Infact for the first thirty seconds, he looked everywhere but at my eyes. My shoulder, my chest, my stomach, my legs, even my crotch before he finally settled on my eyes. I looked back confidently, comforted by the fact that I had nothing to hide and no troublesome thoughts. Meanwhile, even I was also staring and observing him. His arms were twitching involuntarily. Something told me he was getting uncomfortable. He took around four minutes before he eventually stopped staring at me. My instincts were telling me that there was an art and science behind what he was doing. I felt he was trying to tune in to my body language by mimicking it and thus understanding the vibes. His approach seemed extremely scientific.

When he finally spoke he seemed disturbed about something. "Since you are my fifth and final volunteer and there were so many others with whom I have accessed their inner nature, I feel exhausted. That explains why I have taken more than my due time. Anyways, here are your thoughts, my friend. You like to be alone. Intensely alone. You can remain alone without company than most people can. And, uh, you are worried about the health of someone beloved. Isn't that true my friend" His diffidence in mentioning the second part told me that he was not completely sure of it.

"Yes sir. You are right. I have a tendency to be alone. And yes, my father has suffered an accident. I am extremely concerned about his health" I replied.

The saint heaved a sigh of relief. "Meet me after the discourse" he said quietly as he shook my hands.

I walked towards my seat and as expected the crowd were none too happy with my thoughts. The crowd had got used to fireworks after the first three volunteers. But, I was quite satisfied with the experience. I sat down at the seat while the saint went into the finer details of his philosophy. There were far more buyers to his philosophy now that he had impressed everyone with his performance. I was not paying much attention to the discourse as I was busy piecing together the experiences I had with the saint. The more I thought about it the more I was getting confused. He had successfully penetrated my thoughts and found out something very few people were aware of. Was it due to a supernatural ability that he was able to access my thoughts. What he had done was unbelievable. He had guessed what could be considered my inner nature. And most remarkably, he knew I was concerned about someone close to me. Unless he followed me regularly there was no way he could have done that. What he had done was truly magical.

I was shaken from my introspection when I heard a loud applause from the crowd. His discourse had ended. Many people decided to honour him with a standing ovation. I stood up too and clapped enthusiastically. While everyone were departing, I proceeded to the backstage as he had asked me to meet him.

The saint seemed to be waiting for me and shook my hands warmly as I entered the backstage. "Hey. I found it really difficult to access your thoughts. I would like to conduct the exercise once again. For my satisfaction. I take this very seriously. Would you care to join"

"Of course. I would love to join" I replied.

"Great. Meet me at Hotel Ramada then. Say tomorrow 6 P.M"

"Sure. I will be there" I said excitedly.

"Very well. Thank you so much for catering to my whims and fancies" he said smilingly. "By the way, do you play Poker?" he asked.

"Yes. Occasionally"

"That explains. Anyways, see you tomorrow" he said and departed to his room backstage.

I could not believe my luck. I would get another opportunity to interact with the magician. In my eyes, that's what he was. And I wanted to find out his tricks. Because every magician had one. I could not wait to see him the next day

The next day, I reached the Ramada hotel at the designated time. I had a hard time sleeping the previous night as I was recollecting and analysing the events of the day. I felt that I was missing something. Some trick or sleight of hand which could explain something as mysterious as thought reading.But, I was hoping that my meeting with the saint would change the equation.

I knocked at the saint's room and almost immediately he opened the door and led me inside. "I am glad you could make it. You know, yesterday I found it difficult to understand what was going on in that head of yours. I almost guessed at what you were thinking and going through. But for me there is no room for guessing. That is why I take it really seriously. So I want to take another shot at it"

"Sure" I replied.

"If you don't mind, I would like to take this medicine before I start. It really helps me you know" he said pointing at a box containing a green coloured powdery substance.

"The medicine helps you in the process?" I asked. I was quite intrigued. The medicine looked like a psychotropic substance and maybe it was the reason for the saints glazed look that I had noticed the previous day.

"Yes. This is no ordinary medicine. Without this, it is virtually impossible to access other people's thoughts" he said while putting two spoons of the green powder into the glass of water. Once the powder dissolved, he quickly gulped down the glass.

And sure enough, his eyes had become glazed and his body had completely relaxed while he was sitting in his chair. His eyes were gazing at me intently as if trying to penetrate me.

"Now come here my friend. Let me hold your hands" the saint said calmly.

"Wait. Can I try this too. Can I try to gauge your thoughts and inner nature.

"What. How can you? You don't know how to"

"What if I try the medicine too"

"No. You still wont be able to. You are not me. You are not a saint. You need enlightenment for that"

"I know I am not. And if I am not able to do what you do, it will just confirm you are a saint. If I am also able to gauge your thoughts then it is basically the medicine which does most of the work. Right?"

The argument struck a chord with him but he was not totally convinced. I realised that he still had doubts of his saintliness. So, I decided to use that point in convincing him further

"If I fail to read your thoughts which I most probably will, it will show for sure that the medicine only works for saints like you. There will be no disputing that you are a saint and not some street magician"

My persuasion seemed to be working. "There is no way you know a thing about this. You wont be able to read my inner nature and what I am and what I have done. And that will prove I am a saint" he said while handing me the medicine.

"Surely" I said while gulping down the medicine. The medicine tasted like a pungent version of vanilla. It was nothing like I had ever tasted before. And its effects were instant

The colours in the room suddenly looked brighter and with a clarity I could not imagine existed. I looked at the saint and smiled at his smiling face,. But after the medicine the saint was looking like a totally different person. After around two minutes, the effects of the medicine really started kicking in. It exponentially improved my observation and made my thinking extremely sharp and acute. I stared at the saint and observed him intently. I could observe the minutest of his expressions in his eyes, face and even his nose. The medicine introduced intuitive, perceptive and discerning abilities that I never knew I had.

"So, how does it feel my friend. Is it working" the saint asked curiously.

"You have trained for years haven't you"

"Trained in what" said the saint taken aback at my observation. He had not expected this.

"Trained in the field of face reading and body language. I can see that in you." I replied. "That's how you are able to make the accurate judgements about people." I said. The medicine was actually working. It was not like I was reading his mind. I was just reading the signals that his mind was emitting through body language and facial expressions. I was just able to discern things that I normally wouldn't. Someone like the saint  who had years of extreme training could combine his experience of reading people along with the acute observation that the medicine induced to make it look like he was mind reading.

"Listen. It's enough. Stop observing me. The medicine seems to be working to an extent. I don't want you to read me anymore" the saint said. His expressions were changing. He was extremely worried about something. I wish I had his skills to make more refined judgement. But my mind was still piecing things together slowly. The saint had something to hide. That had become clear to me.

"I think you better leave. It was a bad idea to give you the medicine" the saint continued.

"But don't you want to read my thoughts anymore"

"I want to but I don't want you to read mine. Do you know who I am" he asked. His voice had suddenly changed. It had become more edgy and dangerous. He looked at me without smiling. I suddenly realised what he seemed to be hiding. His eyes reflected the answer. I got the vibe that he was a hardened criminal. He was not your usual conman who pretended to be a saint. He was far worse. I suddenly realised that he could sense the fear in me. He could read my mind and know that I had found out.

"Do you have a revolver with you" I asked. I did not intend to ask that but the sentence just poured out of me.

"No. I do not carry a revolver. But since you already know, the knife is the weapon of my choice" He opened the cupboard in his wardrobe and showed me a large glittering knife to prove his point. "I intend to use this on you if you try any funny business" The way he smiled at me told me that he meant it too. The look in his eyes terrified me. It told me that he was very capable of murder. I had to keep my calm but. I knew I was not dealing with a reasonable person. I knew If I panicked he would use the knife as a reaction. I did not have many options in front of me while he was contemplating killing me.

"But you have changed. I have read you. You are a saint now. The past is behind you. You have reformed now. Killing me will not help you. It will only take you back. And you need to go forward" I said pleadingly. I was bluffing at this point. I had no idea whether he had changed or not. But I was desperate and I could not think of any other choice.

"You have changed right. you are a saint now remember" I continued calmly. He kept looking at me with a strange expression while I said this. I was not sure whether my strategy had worked or not. I knew he could read me much better than I could read him. I half-expected him to say "Nice try kid. But it doesn't work on me" and then use his knife to perhaps slash my neck.

"You are a philosopher now. Remember, that's what you said during the discourse. Philosophers are rational people" I tried again.

The final sentence had a definite effect on him. Mentioning the word Philosopher had done the trick. His reaction was completely different. He kept the knife on the table and fell on the chair. He was on the verge of breaking down. My bluff had worked. It was strange to see a self proclaimed murderer almost cry in front of me. But I was more than relieved. He was trying to reform and luckily my words had reminded him of that.

"I assure you that I will not mention this to anyone" I said.

"Get out of here before I change my mind" he replied quietly.

I overcame the temptation to run and slowly walked out of the room and closed the door behind me. As soon as I was outside the room, I ran down the stairs and fled the hotel as fast as I could.

The disillusionment of Sultana

In the eighteenth century, a genie gave a certain Sultan a magic ring which, when rubbed, would force a woman’s private parts to speak, and confess all their indiscretions. In the end, the Sultan’s misuse of the ring led the genie to take it back. Two hundred years later, in Mumbai - just the other day, in fact - the same genie gave the ring to a good woman named Sultana Begum, and told her that it worked just as well on men.

The genie had been looking for a deserving candidate who was worthy of the ring and decided to present it to the most chaste and virtuous woman in Mumbai. From the vantage point of the genie’s astral dimension, Sultana Begum was an easy choice to make as she had never lied or wished ill for anyone in the fifty two years of her existence. She was also a loving, caring and gentle person who could not hurt a fly. The genie visited her in her dreams when she was fast asleep and found her fantasising about devouring besan ke ladoo alongside badam ka doodh to gulp it down with. 

“Sultana Begum” the genie proclaimed “Keep the ladoos aside and pay attention. I am gifting you a magical ring. As soon as you wear it and rub it while pointing at a man’s groin, the man will have no choice but to divulge his innermost secrets. But do not be surprised when the voice comes from the man’s most precious belonging, his genitals. Since you are the most virtuous woman in Mumbai, you are granted this amazing gift. Now go ahead and peek at souls of men you wish to unveil. Take care and do go easy on the sweets my sweet lady. Sweet dreams.”

Sultana awoke with a start and frantically looked around for the genie. All she could see was her husband Mahboob Khan snoring blissfully besides her in their tiny windowless room. As she was going back to sleep, she noticed a gleaming object near the table lamp. She pounced at it and was elated to find that it was the same ring that the genie had shown to her in her dreams. Her dream had indeed come true! She went back to sleep glowing in the satisfaction that she was the most virtuous woman in the city and the proud owner of a magic ring. 

Mahboob Khan awoke the next morning as the sun rose and glanced at the sleeping figure of his beautifully rotund wife. An angelic smile was plastered on her face. She must be dreaming about jalebis dipped in rabdi I am sure, Mahboob thought to himself. Mahboob Khan considered himself lucky that an auto rickshaw driver like him had managed to find a wife like Sultana. It was not just because she was lovely and beautiful albeit leaning on the plumpier side physically; it was because she made it worthwhile to continue living meaningfully in an otherwise difficult and dreary existence. All the aches in his aging body and the never-ending migraine resulting from a stressful day at work became tolerable due to the inexhaustible supply of her smiles, her charms and her silliness. Had he been stuck with a shrew, he would have had run away from home a long time back to become a fakir in some faraway place where no one could find him.

He woke Sultana up as the day was long and the chores were plenty. As soon as she woke up she began to prattle about some genie and a magic ring which made men reveal their secrets. Mahboob gave her a glass of water to contain her jabbering and to calm her down. Once she caught her breath, she showed him the ring and narrated the dream. Mahboob examined it and came to the conclusion it was no ordinary ring. The colourful jewel that adorned the top of the ring glittered luminously; clearly it was worth a fortune.

“There is no such thing as magic Sultana. I hope you have not started lying for the sake of an expensive ring. Tell me where did you really find it?” 

“If you don’t care to believe me then I will prove to you about its powers. All I have to do is rub this ring and point it at your junior and your junior will begin to speak” 

Mahboob looked at her with a quizzical expression. The conversation was getting too weird for him. “Have you lost your mind early in the morning? What do you mean ‘point at my junior’?”

Sultana began to blush like a schoolgirl. Three children and advancing age had not managed to quell her prudishness about sexual organs. She pointed to Mahboob’s groin and covered her face to suppress her giggles.

 “What a fine specimen you are Sultana. Go ahead and let me also see the wonderful powers of your amazing ring.”

Sultana enthusiastically rubbed the ring and waited for the magic to unfold. Immediately there was a noise of clearing of throat and then a robot like voice arose from the penis of Mahboob and spoke “Your husband Mahboob Khan has hidden many things from you. Once a week he goes to a local bar and gulps down half a bottle of whisky and lies through his teeth once he comes home. He is also in the habit of chewing tobacco everyday but hides the smell by eating cardamom before coming home. Other than you he does not have any other sexual partner even though before marriage he was a total rogue with girls. He would whisper to school girls that he has an amazing secret to tell them but would do so only if they let him caress their breasts. After having his fun he would admit he had no secret to tell and would run away from there. After marriage he almost yielded to your neighbour Nafisa’s charms when she wanted your husband as she was unhappy in her own abusive marriage. But your husband controlled his temptations in time as he remembered your face and remained faithful. Also, once he slapped two children who were renting his auto as he found them making out through his rearview mirror. He was too ashamed to narrate this to you. Enough said.”  

   

The colour drained from Mahboob’s face as this peculiar confession from unexpected quarters left him dumbstruck. There was no doubt in his mind that the ring held powerful magical abilities which could easily extract the innermost secrets of a man as it had done with him. His head hung in shame and he found it difficult to look his wife in the eye. His carefully constructed image of a virtuous person who was pious and upright in his behaviour had been shattered in an instant. To keep his wife in good humour, he had decided he would say only those things that he anticipated would make her happy, thereby hiding those matters which were unpleasant. This he believed was the secret recipe for their happy marriage so far, until the magical ring came along and had other plans in store.

The look on Sultana’s face though was becoming more colourful by the moment. Initially, her face reddened with astonishment but slowly turned a tone of green as she processed the words and became more livid. Mahboob glanced at her uneasily and tried to figure out which of his misdemeanours was hurting her most.

“Don’t you feel ashamed of striking young children? The Almighty will never forgive you and will unleash his wrath on you for hurting them” Sultana shouted while continuous streams of spit sprayed from her mouth and on to Mahboob’s face.

“But they were doing unspeakable things in my auto. You should have seen how that boy’s hand slid inside the girl’s top as he was kissing her. I could not allow this kind of haram to desecrate my auto” Mahboob declared in his defence as he wiped the spit from his face.

“Oh! Haram is it? Have you forgotten what you did when you were a kid? Fooling innocent girls and trapping them with your lies. Hey Almighty, give me the strength to carry on living with this hypocrite!” Sultana exclaimed and began to sob. Mahboob had never seen Sultana this hurt before. He internally cursed the ring for souring his wife’s mood. She had not raised the topic of his hidden vices yet so he needed to think of a way to divert her attention as quickly as possible. He immediately came to the conclusion that the ring should be used on one of their three sons. Hopefully it would distract her from her misery and stop the barrage of admonishments flowing from her mouth. 

He contemplated which of the three sons would be the right choice. Their eldest son Afzal was a lazy good for nothing bugger who whiled away his time doing nothing. The ring could be used on him to extract a distracting enough confession. Afzal would finally be of some use and could be relied upon for this work at least. Mahboob got up from the bed and called Afzal from the adjoining room which he shared with Abdul, his brother. He made Afzal stand in front of Sultana and requested her to test the ring on their eldest son.   

Sultana hesitated for a moment until curiosity got the better of her. She wiped away her tears and rubbed the ring while pointing it towards Afzal. Instantly, a deep electronic voice erupted from Afzal’s crotch. “Your eldest son Afzal has hidden many secrets from you.  His sexual escapades are innumerable. Girls from the age of 14 and women up to the age of 40 have fallen victim to his inexorable seductive charms. His sexual appetite is immense and insatiable. Every afternoon, when you believe he is wasting his time with friends, he is on the lookout for fresh sexual partners as he gets bored easily and needs variety. He visits prostitutes when his daily requirement is not fulfilled and even they who are not easily pleased are enamoured by his abilities and are ready to provide their service for free. Once, he had sex eight times in a single day with three different women...”

Sultana quickly rubbed the ring again to silence the impudent voice as she could not bear to hear anymore of Afzal’s exploits. No words came out of her mouth to rebuke her son. She looked forlornly at Mahboob as if wishing he would tell her it had been a joke all along. Mahboob shook his head and scolded at his son “Had you put half of this energy in a productive business we would not have been so poor. Get out of my sight and make sure you end this indecent pleasure-seeking of yours.” Afzal gave a sheepish grin and went back to his room.

  

Afzal returned soon after, dragging along with him the half asleep figure of his brother Abdul.  “Ammi, please use your miraculous magic ring on Abdul too. Let his true nature be revealed to us. I am sure he is not as sweet as he looks.” Abdul was the apple of the eye of his parents and his pleasant countenance had swept away the hearts of most people in their chawl. His curly hair and the look of wide-eyed innocence bestowed a permanently angelic expression on his face.

By now, Mahboob had become more circumspect about subjecting anyone else to the tyrannical powers of the ring, especially more so when it would be used on his favourite child Abdul. “Sultana, let sleeping dogs lie. Do not use this ring on Abdul or anyone else for that matter” Mahboob pleaded but his entreaties were to no avail. Once again curiousity got the better of Sultana as she pointed the ring at a bleary eyed Abdul and rubbed it vigourously.

 

A squeaky voice emerged from underneath the half pant of Abdul “Your middle son Abdul Khan is a master of deceit and guile. He is a compulsive liar and inveterate cheat. He has kept hidden many aspects of his life from you. He pretends to represent the interests of factory workers in the chawl but secretly relays all information to his paymasters, the factory owners. He even fooled his Chacha Taufiq to accept a far lower amount as gratuity after his retirement. His agreeable nature and sweet demeanour makes him seem very trustworthy which he uses to his advantage. He has splurged most of his ill-gotten income on his girlfriend Alice whom he takes to fancy restaurants and expensive malls. He is also a puppet of the partners of a major real estate development firm who pay him to pretend to oppose them while slowly cornering all premium space in the chawl with his help. In short, your son Abdul is highly corrupt and opportunistic.”

 “Did I not say Abdul’s sweet demeanour is just pretence? But he has crossed all limits and has turned out to be a bigger player than I could ever imagine” Afzal muttered in exasperation.

Abdul’s body language remained defiant. “Just because I am born into a poor family does not mean I have to stay poor for the rest of my life. I will do whatever it takes to lead a good life and no one can come in my way, not even my family” he remarked disdainfully and stormed out of the room. Afzal too slipped out of the room without looking at his parents.

Sultana stared blankly at Mahoob. Nothing made sense to her anymore. A sense of a loss of innocence was creeping into her. The shine in her eyes was dimming and her enthusiasm for life was abating.  Life was no longer black and white as things could no longer be divided into good and bad. The men in her life whom she believed to be as innocent as her turned out to be capable of deceit, guile and cunning which were beyond her comprehension. The battles, lust and greed of men was too much for her to handle.

Mahboob tried to put up a brave face even though he was highly distraught at the turn of events which had transpired.  At that moment, Aamir the youngest son entered the room holding his stomach with both hands to indicate his hunger. Aamir was considered the dullard of the house. He hardly spoke as he seemed incapable of any complex human interaction and stayed in a small corner of the house mostly glued to his cheap smartphone.

Sultana looked at Aamir with hope in her eyes. “Let me try my ring on Aamir. At least he will turn out to be a good person.” She said pleadingly to Mahboob. “Sure, sweetheart. What secrets can poor Aamir hold? His junior will go mute within two sentences” replied Mahboob, not having the heart to refuse her request. Sultana immediately swung into action and rubbed the ring perfunctorily. 

A deep baritone voice began to sing from the groin region of Aamir “Your youngest son Aamir has hidden from you the fact that he is a highly knowledgeable person with genius level intelligence. He is extremely proficient in subjects as diverse and wide-ranging as Sociology, Astrophysics, Economics, Botany and Anatomy. He is an author of many papers across these fields. His most important work “The conclusive refutation of big bang theory” (Which is considered as the origin point of the Universe, Aamir’s junior added as a sidenote for the benefit of Sultana) was not even taken for consideration because of Aamir’s lack of physics degree even though Aamir had backed with considerable evidence that the Universe grew billions of years ago from the size of an atomic particle and gradually kept growing in a slow and steady manner which is contrary to what the big bang model proposes.  Had this evidence been proposed by someone with appropriate credentials, that person would have been an easy candidate for the Nobel Prize because the evidence is presented with scientific precision and mathematical elegance. His other important work “The manifesting force of myths in development of civilizations” was rejected by the Brahmins of the Social Science department because they did not want to encourage a Muslim from a humble background. Aamir pretends to be a good Muslim but secretly prefers the symmetrical verses of Bhagavadgita over the profound wisdom of Quran. The only sexual act that Aamir has ever experienced is when Zaira, his friend’s sister, put me in her mouth more out of pity than out of any real attraction. He has also contemplated suicide many times since no one has managed to understand him yet and he feels extremely lonely but his intellectual pursuits have deterred him from committing the final act. I have no more secrets to reveal”

As the revelation ended, Aamir shrugged nonchalantly and proceeded to the small corner where he could read important ideas in his cheap smartphone without being disturbed.  Sultana felt completely exhausted by this time and could feel the walls of tranquillity, which she had erected so carefully over time, being breached and shattered in her mind. Nothing was the way it seemed and everything was shrouded by illusion and secrecy. Even Aamir, whom she believed to be straightforward, turned out to be deviously complex. He even wanted to commit suicide!  The disillusionment of Sultana was complete. Fearing she would go insane if she was dealt more truth, she closed her eyes to summon the genie mentally and implored him to take his wretched ring back.  When she opened her eyes, the ring had disappeared. Sanity prevailed thereafter.