Monday, August 27, 2012

A dinner conversation

"Robin, Pass me the juice"

"Sure Mama"

"Did you taste the Risotto Robbie? It is just the way it's made back home"

"Absolutely Mama. It reminded me of Aunt Teresa's cooking"

"Yes dear boy. Did you read the thank you letter sent by Chatterjee? It was so sweet of him don't you think?"

"Yes Mama. It was nice. It's good he has not forgotten us after becoming President. That's sort of humble"

"Forget us? My foot! He will never forget us. Not because he likes us. But he knows which side of his bread is buttered. He is a wily cat that Chatterjee. But he is always loyal to the family and you have to grant him that. That's why I chose him for presidency"

"But Mama, if he does not like us why did you make him the President"

"Because you cannot be an emotional fool. Robin, hasn't Politics still taught you that trust no one, like no one and respect no one except your family. This decision was for the family. Even if Chatterjee loathes us from the bottom of his disgusting heart, which I think he does, I would still reward him. He has been loyal to the family and that's what matters. Judge everyone by their loyalty first and last. I know that Chatterjee will choose our family over his country any day"

"That's true Mama. Chatterjee deserves a promotion after all the doggie work he has done for us. I have to appreciate your thinking Mama"

"Plus he knows things and he understands how to maintain secrecy. If he had not been such an invaluable soldier for the family I would have considered disposing him. In Chess, it is sometimes important to sacrifice minor pieces like soldiers so that other important pieces get a superior positional advantage"

"Other important pieces like the Queen. Right Mama? Can I watch the news Mama. Please."

"Not today. The news is too depressing. The laalis are hounding us again today. It must be all over the news. Put on something nice and pass me the roasted Lamb"

"What do you want to see. Can we watch some soccer?"

"Yes. If you wish. And Robin, you still need to learn to be discreet about Rosemary. Tell her to quieten down. She cannot be all loud and belligerent. The laalis are always on her lookout so this kind of behaviour is not tolerable. One slip and our reputation goes poof into thin air"

"I am sorry Mama. I will inform her you were displeased with her behaviour"

"And be discreet about Tanya as well. You see, I don't want Rosemary to ever know. When you displease a woman you risk your whole empire falling apart"

"But how did you know about Tanya?"

"Oh Robin. I thought you would be more sensible than your sister but you have a totally different set of problems. You are turning out to be so gullible so naive and so innocent which just does not befit the man in the family. Try to understand that even if you want to let go of Tanya she will not want to let go of you. You are the goose that will lay her the golden eggs. Really Robin, I am getting sick of your affairs. You think you can hide things from me. If I was so stupid I would not have been in this position. You should be ashamed of yourself. Hiding things from me like this. And make sure you keep your hot-bloodedness in check the next time"

"But Mama, she was saying things like she cannot be without me and that she worships me and is devoted to me like no one else can ever be. She said she could not live without me"

"You fool. You get suckered into those things. Next time she contacts you inform me immediately. You cannot tackle a silly girl how will you be able to handle your cunning party people and those horrendous laalis"

"I will be careful next time Mama"

"Just remember that when you rule this country you will need to have your wits around you. You will be attacked from all corners. One goof-up and they will tear you apart into pieces. You have to sober down and be more aware. If you don't get smart quickly even your Mama will not be able to save you"

"I have cut down on my smoking and my drinking"

"Yes, but that has not stopped you from acting stupid already. Buck up baby. It's very important. Look how our village has become more prosperous. Look at our family back home. You have to carry on the legacy and make the family proud"

"I promise you Mama that I will take care and be more careful. I will be really smart and cunning as you want me to be"

"That's like my good boy"

"By the way Mama, the violence seems to be escalating in the eastern part of this country"

"Don't worry Robbie. Our dear old Sampath Singh is working at it. And Subramaniam is always there. I have informed him that if need arises he has to divert the issue"

"Ah. Subramaniam Uncle is on it. Then there is really nothing to worry about. What would we have done without him. What do we have for dessert tonight Mama?"


  1. this story was so much fun!!:):)

  2. Very different from your usual narratives.. Not bad.

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