Golden Girl

There was a palpable sense of excitement in the air as nervous enthusiasm intermingled with pulsating energy. It was the first day of college at Carmel College of Arts & Commerce; the most elite, prestigious and renowned undergraduate college in Mumbai. It was no easy task to gain entrance to this college. Students had to be exceptional in one way or the other to make it to the hallowed grounds. Most students had made it on the merit of academic scholarship and there were others who made it on the basis of their accomplishments in sports, dramatics, music and other spheres of life. 

The first year students were the most nervous lot. Even though Carmel College was too cultured to tolerate excessive ragging, many students were tensed about fitting in with their peers and their seniors. Everyone had a similar aim which was to be accepted, make good friends and be popular. Many of the first years were also excited because it would be the first time they would experience a co-ed atmosphere. The St. Mary’s Convent for Girls and St Anthony’s school for Boys supplied the bulk of students to Carmel mainly due to the emphasis on discipline.

All the students had gathered around in a massive Gathering Hall to hear the commencement speech which was to be given by Prof. Raj Khosla, the Principal of the college. At first glance, the first year students were enamoured by the charismatic personality and the elegant poise with which the Professor carried himself. To the delight of the first year students, Prof. Khosla made it very clear that Carmel College focused on developing a well rounded personality of its students. Unlike other colleges which excessively focused on academics and made life miserable for students, Carmel Philosophy incorporated a holistic approach. Extra-curricular activities were as important as studies in building the foundations for success in later life. The second and third year students vehemently nodded in unison to show their agreement while the first years were bursting into wide grins. They could not have expected a better first day!

Among the first year students, four childhood friends had already formed a small group at the back. There were high fives and fist pumps all around in the group at the announcement given by Prof. Khosla. The four friends Sunehri Malhotra, Ambuj Kothari, Farah Tyrewala, and Junaid Khan had grown up together in the same apartment complex in Bandra. There was no doubt that Sunehri was the magnetic centre of attraction within the group. She was the glue that kept the four together. There was just something fascinating about Sunehri.

There was a hypnotic quality in Sunehri’s eyes that would mesmerize people around her. Many boys in her colony had tried their luck in initiating romance with Sunehri but other than Ambuj, she never had a deep enough connection with any other boy. Though she could make friends with any boy or girl in an instant, serious romance was something that eluded her. She had a long list of boys who had been friend-zoned but that did not stop the boys to constantly vie for her attention. It was as if a smile from her face would light up their whole day. There was a majestic magnificence radiating from her inner being.

Junaid and Farah had decided that they were the one for each other ever since they were fifteen years old. Everyone in their apartment and even people in their colony were aware that they were a couple. Farah’s parents knew too and they completely approved the relationship as they liked Junaid a lot. Yet Farah’s Ammi was slightly traditional and expected Farah to follow some rules. No more than hand holding was allowed till they were 21 and if ever Junaid tried to kiss Farah’s cheeks she was to immediately bring it to the notice of her Ammi and Abbu. Boys of Junaid’s age need to be kept in a tight leash lest they assert themselves too much, she warned. Farah put on her most angelic expression and assured her Ammi Jaan that she will maintain all propriety by keeping Junaid in check.

It is the irony of contemporary era in New India that parents are innocent and gullible while their children are street smart and cunning. Farah’s Ammi would have been distraught if she ever discovered that Farah was the assertive partner in the relationship while Junaid was coy and docile. When Junaid was too hesitant to make the move towards their first kiss at their apartment’s terrace, it was Farah who warned Junaid to stop doing time pass as she did not have the whole day. Get on with the business, her dancing eyes were expressing and make sure it’s memorable. Junaid did as he was told with the thought that their first kiss better be special if he ever hoped to win Farah’s heart for good.

Sunehri, on the other hand, tried to make up for her lack of real romantic adventures with a vivid imagination. When she would get too bored of studies, her mind would drift off into a pleasurable day-dream about Ambuj. She would imagine that they were the only two survivors stranded on a desert island. Ambuj would lift Sunehri with his muscular arms when she would be too tired to walk and take her to a cozy fire-lit corner where they would make out gloriously. Other times she would imagine that the two are travelling the world in a cruise ship having amazing conversations with interesting people from around the world. 

Yet, she would wonder why she and Ambuj had not seamlessly intertwined as a couple just like Farah and Junaid. It was obvious that Ambuj cared for her the most and made her laugh all the time. Many times, Sunehri was plagued with self doubt that maybe she was not as attractive as she believed she was. Maybe the mirror was a lie, reflecting a different picture which did not match true reality. But there was always a hope inside her, alive and kicking, regarding Ambuj. Maybe Ambuj did not prefer displaying affection as easily as she did.

On the first day of college, the gang of four was lucky to be placed in the same section, which was section C.  Harshad, who was well known to the gang as a lighthearted prankster who always had a trick up his sleeves, had colorfully named the class as ‘Sec C Stallions’ winking naughtily while emphasizing the words ‘Sec C’. Harshad’s announcement met with wild approval from all his classmates. 

The junior class was happy that the first week of college had a light schedule so that students had time to orient themselves. The college seniors had arranged for an icebreaking session at the college auditorium where all juniors would introduce themselves and say something interesting which would strike a chord with the seniors. It was in this icebreaking session that Ambuj first noticed Shlok Mehta and excitedly pointed him out to the rest of the gang.

Shlok had already developed a reputation in school as a ‘Heartbreak Kid’. His extra-ordinary good looks and athletic personality had girls swooning left, right and centre. The fact that his father was a big time Real Estate tycoon immensely added to his charm. He was an intense loner who hardly hung out in groups and he only travelled in a chauffeur driven Mercedes during day time and rode a Hayabusa superbike by himself during night. He was also a champion football player who had helped St Anthony’s win the inter-school trophy. As soon as he entered the auditorium where the orientation was taking place, time seem to have paused to allow everyone to soak in the sight of Shlok. Even the seniors were impressed by the assured ease with which Shlok carried himself as if he was a royal prince who deserved all the attention showered on him. 

Most of the girls at St Mary’s school had heard about Shlok and his reputation but seeing him in person was even more enthralling. There was intensity in his aloofness which went well with his personality. Junaid felt a pang of unease as he saw Farah ogle at Shlok. Sunehri could not suppress her giggles at the sight of Junaid’s visible discomfort. Sunehri found his attempts at hiding his jealousy cute and funny. It seemed only Sunehri was immune to the immense charm of Shlok. Hmmpf, what was so special about Shlok she could not imagine. She thought he had an oafish expression as if he had just been struck in his head with something heavy. She thought Ambuj would be pleased to see Sunehri’s complete lack of interest in Shlok but Ambuj himself was too busy being mesmerized by Shlok as if he was a celebrity film star. 

She looked around to see who else was as uninterested as her and was happy to notice that the boy sitting right next to her seemed to take no interest in being a part of Shlok’s fan club. She caught his eyes and was startled to see a shining gleam in his eyes. He introduced himself as Nayan Lakhanpal, who had come all the way from Lucknow to study at the esteemed Carmel College. He shared to Sunehri that he was nervous at the prospect of talking in English in front of such a huge audience as his English was weak. Sunehri was touched by his polite demeanor and shyness and tried to make him feel better. “Arre don’t worry; just speak in Hindi if that makes you comfortable. We are a chill crowd you know. We don’t judge like that”. That brought a smile to Nayan’s face and immediately decreased his anxiety.

When Nayan’s turn came he conversed confidently in Hindi and explained that he was a Poet and Musician with a ‘Sufiana Andaaz’. He even sang a couple of lines from his own poetry which was a hit with the audience. When he got back to his seat, he clasped Sunehri’s hand gratefully and thanked her profusely for making him feel at ease. Sunehri instinctively developed a liking for this old school kid who looked wise beyond his age. She immediately introduced him to the rest of the gang who welcomed him warmly.

Sunehri had a fondness for standup comedy and when her time came to introduce herself she gamely entertained the crowd with a couple of jokes that she had created herself. But the crowd was too busy appreciating her enchanting beauty and hardly paid attention to her words. She got a raucous applause from the audience more for her personality than for her jokes. She had particularly created a great impression on Shlok, the only person she had managed to dislike so far. Shlok could not take his eyes off Sunehri even after she had resumed her seat. Sunehri’s beauty was unmatched and there was a depth in her personality that he had never seen before. Farah had observed that Shlok kept craning his neck back towards where Sunehri was seated. When she shared her observation, Sunehri replied “That mannerless, uncouth oaf can go to hell for all I care”. The next time Shlok craned his neck, Sunehri squinted both her eyes and stuck her tongue out and gave him a scorching go away look. 

But that was not enough to shake Shlok off her tail. He approached her after the session and gave her a friendly smile and tried to strike a conversation. Sunehri saw a group of junior girls who were already star-struck by Shlok and were looking at Sunehri with venomous envy for catching Shlok’s fancy. Sunehri tried to shoo Shlok away but he was not to be deterred. He was used to winning, and winning easily. 

“Have you heard about the ‘Mr and Miss Junior’ pageant that the seniors are conducting?” Shlok said hoping for a long conversation. “Of course I have. Who hasn’t” Sunehri interjected rudely. “Well, they don’t need to take the trouble. They should just hand over the prize to us right away” Shlok replied. “Don’t be so cocky, Mr. Shlok Mehta. There are far better deserving people than you”. “Who is it Miss Sunehri Malhotra? Can you name even one?” 

“Ambuj! He is way more beautiful as a person than you can ever be” Sunehri instantly replied. Sunehri realized that she was being more rude than necessary but she could not help it. Something about Shlok repulsed her. Yet, the more caustic Sunehri was the more interested Shlok became in her. Here, finally he had found a worthy girl who was not so easy to catch. He loved the prospect of wooing a girl and winning her affections.

“So do you think you are dating Ambuj?” Shlok asked while making an unbelieving face. “Yes, I am!” Sunehri replied proudly and vehemently. “But you are not his type Sunehri. I went to school with him, so I know. Oh, you are so clueless, sweetheart. Catch you later” Shlok took his leave with this cryptic remark. Sunehri was shocked by what she had heard. He had caught her weak point and pinched her where it hurts the most. Her relationship with Ambuj was not progressing beyond a point and Shlok had sensed it somehow. His mocking words were ringing in her ears which prompted her to run towards the canteen where Ambuj was hanging out with the rest of the gang eating pakodas along with a steaming cup of chai. “Ambuj, I need to talk to you alone” She remarked urgently. Ambuj knew that it was no use to argue with Sunehri when she was in such mood.

Sunehri took Ambuj by his hands and placed him in an empty classroom. She immediately confronted him about what Shlok had said. Ambuj bowed his head and replied “I owe you an explanation, Sunehri. You mean the world to me; I can do anything for you. But it’s true. You are not my type. I did not mean to lead you on, but you took this romantic fancy towards me and just ran away with it before I could explain”

“What do you mean that I am not your type? What the heck do you mean Ambuj? Am I not beautiful enough for you or not smart enough?” Sunehri began to sob. She did not cry easily but now the dam was bursting and overflowing. Ambuj wrapped her in his arms and consoled her “It’s not like that, Sunehri. You are really amazing. It’s just that.. It’s just that I prefer boys. But please, please keep this to yourself. There are many people in this world who are yet to get out of medieval age. You have no idea how regressive people can be” 

“What!” Sunehri exclaimed. “How did I never realize this? We hung out with each other all the time. You could have told me at least. Don’t you trust me?” For the first time ever there was bitterness in her voice when speaking to Ambuj. She had placed him in a pedestal and had imagined a future with him in such intricate detail. But all of that came crashing down right in front of her. Now it was Ambuj’s turn to break down “You have no idea what I have gone through Sunehri. My family is not liberal like yours. They will never accept me for who I am. Do you know how I felt, when my own parents reject people like me as freaks, as disgusting creatures who should be jailed? You were the only person I wanted to talk to but you complicated things by falling in love with me.  You are my best friend and yet I could not talk to you, just because I knew you would get hysterical.  Please try to understand. I have enough on my plate and have suffered enough by keeping this bottled up inside. I cannot reciprocate your love but I do genuinely believe we are besties forever. Right?” 

Sunehri melted completely at this outpouring of emotions by Ambuj “I am so sorry for shouting Ambuj. Please forgive me. Your pain is much greater than mine. Of course we are besties forever. I always wanted a gay bestie and I had one right under my nose! You are really cool Ambuj. I am sure your parents will understand. Give them some time, they will eventually grow up and get matured enough to accept you.” She hugged Ambuj with all her might as tears rolled down both their eyes. “But tell me one thing Ambuj; how the fish did Shlok know about you. Is he actually smarter than he seems?” Ambuj looked a little embarrassed and his cheeks were getting rosier by the second “Actually, I have been crushing on him since forever. He must have noticed. Now stop crying silly. Let’s go, Farah and Junaid are waiting for us” he started to leave, wiping his own tears with a kerchief. “You carry on, Ambuj. I need some alone time right now” replied Sunehri

Sunehri had shown a brave face when Ambuj was around, but as soon as Ambuj left, she completely broke down. Sunehri was a person who felt things deeply and intensely. When she loved, she did it completely and her love poured from every cell in her body. The shock that Ambuj did not feel the same way towards her was too much for her to handle. As she sat crying alone in the empty classroom, Nayan Lakhanpal noticed her while passing the corridors.

“Sunehriji, what happened? You looked so happy just like an hour back. Is everything alright?” Nayan asked. “Nothing happened, Nayan. I just realized that the one love of my life, the perfect one, does not love me. It was just a stupid one sided love affair from my side. It was all an illusion.” “So what Sunehriji, the whole world is your oyster!” Nayan replied dramatically.  “When one door closes, another door opens! So please stop this ‘Dil ke armaan aasuyo main behe gaye’ and smile! This outdated tragic queen look does not suit you. Smile please. It’s really simple Sunehriji. Just widen your lips and show your teeth. Like this” That managed to crack Sunehri up as Nayan clownishly smiled and tried to show all his 32 teeth. 

“I will smile only if you stop adding ji-ji in the end. Just call me Sunehri” She replied wiping her tears with her kerchief. “You need more than one kerchief. Here, borrow mine too” said Nayan and like a magician removed a kerchief from Sunehri’s ears.  Sunehri was smiling more widely now. “Thanks for cheering me up Nayan” “Please do not thank me Sunehri, you cheered me up at the audi and I returned the favour in this empty classroom. Hisaab Baraabar” There was a roguish charm about Nayan that could improve the spirits of the dourest and sourest individual. Sunehri, the born optimist stood no chance. She immediately felt a lot better and clasped Nayan’s hand in gratitude just like he had in the auditorium. Along with their hands, their eyes connected and it gave birth to Nayan’s great love for Sunehri.

If Nayan was asked subsequently when did he fall in love for the first time in his life, he would reply that it was the exact moment when Sunehri clasped his hands. It felt like a great opening up of his heart, as if someone had showed him a treasure chest of emotions for the first time. Sunehri was the golden key that could unlock pathways to feelings he never knew even existed. Once again Sunehri noticed a diamond like gleam in Nayan’s eyes. She could not help remarking “Your eyes shine a lot, Nayan.” Unfortunately, as soon as Nayan fell in love he suddenly started feeling tongue tied. The emotions and feelings whirling inside were so overwhelming that he could no longer produce coherent speech. “Th-thanks” he stammered awkwardly and abruptly left the classroom and ran away from the person who could create such intense turmoil inside.

Sunehri felt a lot better as she got up to leave the empty classroom. Nayan’s charm had done the trick. It felt like a great burden had been removed from her chest. The symptoms of shock still existed but it was much more tolerable after Nayan’s cheering up session. Yes, there is so much to look forward to. For example, the ‘Mr and Miss Junior’ title was up for grabs and Sunehri would be out of the reckoning if she showed the attitude of someone who had just come back from a funeral. The pageant was a week away and she could win it if she played her cards right. There were three rounds. The Costume Party where you could dress up as anyone or anything, the talent round and finally the ramp walk.

The winners, ‘Mr and Miss Junior’ would get to perform a bollywood style dance as a tribute to the cult movie DDLJ and its video would be uploaded in social media. As the college placed a lot of emphasis on art, significant budget and talented seniors would be at disposal to work on the project. Sunehri had always dreamed of performing to a throwback themed bollywood dance and did not want to lose this golden opportunity. Being busy would also help her in getting over the pain of love failure. She prepared a plan to ensure her win.

As expected, Shlok and Sunehri emerged as winners of the pageant. But there were other highlights too. Harshad, the college clown, had come in his underpants with just a few leaves covering his private parts. Eventually, the Principal had to intervene as even parents had come to watch the pageant. Harshad protested that he was wearing the costume of Tarzan and should be permitted his costume. Only when Principal Khosla threatened Rustication, did Harshad back down “Take a chill pill sir, you don’t need to use the R-Word so easily.” he muttered under his breath. Nayan participated too and managed to dazzle the audience with a beautiful piece of guitar work in the talent round. Farah won the Miss Congeniality contest and Junaid seemed more proud of it than even Farah herself. “Hey, Farah is my girlfriend by the way” he would tell with a huge grin to anyone who would care to listen.

Sunehri was going through bittersweet emotions once she was announced the ‘Miss Junior of Carmel College’. The rapturous applause from the audience gave her an adrenaline rush that she would remember for a long time. The prospect of the video performance was also something to look forward to. The only dark cloud interloping the glorious sunshine was the fact that she would have to perform with Shlok. It was told to all pageant participants beforehand that the dance performance would include an intimate romantic scene where the winners would kiss at the end of the video. The very idea of kissing Shlok brought a pukish sensation in her stomach. She had never really kissed anyone before. She had managed to peck Ambuj on the lips once but that no longer counted in hindsight. It was as if life was turning out to be a tragicomic parody with every passing moment. Her first kiss, the moment that had previously filled her with such delicious anticipation, was turning out to be a dud moment as it would be with Shlok. She would rather kiss a pig happily if it meant she would not have to kiss Shlok. 

The verdant environment of the college park was chosen as the setting for the shooting of the video. When the shooting started, Shlok looked like a man on a mission. Sunehri had to admit that Shlok was a superb dancer. Why does he have to be such an all-rounder? She wondered to herself. After the scene was over, Shlok came eagerly towards Sunehri hoping for words of approval. In spite of her aversion to Shlok, it brought a smile on her face. Shlok’s expression reminded her of a street dog hoping for biscuits from passersby. “You are just an average dancer Shlok, there is a huge scope for improvement” she remarked. 

When have I learnt to lie through my teeth? She thought to herself.  The fact that Sunehri had smiled was something that Shlok had observed like a hawk. Keep smiling you beautiful angel, he thought to himself. 

Finally, the moment that Sunehri was dreading was about to arrive, the kissing scene. Sunehri almost wanted to back out of the project but decided to stay seeing the hard work everyone had put on the project. On the other hand, the kissing scene was the moment that Shlok was waiting for the most. He could not stop smiling and seemed to be in the best of spirits. 

“Eh, Chipku” Sunehri muttered to Shlok as they stood facing each other “As soon as you hear ‘Cut’, you back off alright, or else get ready for a nasty kick in your groin” she whispered threateningly. “Of course, my good lady” Shlok replied, bowing his head and tipping a pretend hat in a mock gentlemanly manner. 

And Actionnnnn! Shlok began to kiss Sunehri, and before Sunehri could realize what was happening, wonderful music started to play in her mind. Neither of them heard the cut signal which the director shouted thrice before giving up to watch them kiss, the director could no longer bear to interrupt something this beautiful. Everyone who was present could not help but gape in amazement at what they were witnessing. It was truly a magical moment which uplifted the spirits of everyone watching. Sunehri and Shlok had seemingly melted into each other and kissed for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, the kiss ended only when Sunehri lost her balance and fell on the floor as her knees collapsed with pleasure. 

Nothing had prepared Sunehri for this experience; the sensual delights that erupted inside her as their lips converged, the intoxicating rhythm of the music in her head, the soft delicate movements of Shlok’s tongue merging with the movements of her own inexperienced tongue. Shlok too had lost his footing and looked dazed but he was aware enough to offer his hands to pick Sunehri up. Extremely embarrassed, Sunehri fled from the scene as fast as she could.

Sunehri could not make sense of what had just happened. All she knew was that she had just experienced paradise. As she sat in the taxi which was carrying her back home, she suddenly remembered the words of Nayan “When one door closes, another door opens”. Even in her wildest imagination, Sunehri had not contemplated even for a second that Shlok would be the one who would open the doors! The doors of love; it was love which was flowing within her with an unbridled passion, for the one who had opened the doors. 

She felt an inexplicable longing for Shlok with an intensity that took her by surprise. She tried to recall the minutest details of what she had gone through during the kiss. All the prior dislike she felt for Shlok was a relic of a distant past and even seemed silly in retrospect. All she could now remember was the surreal journey that Shlok had led her towards. The kiss had changed everything. It was something more than just sensual or erotic. The experience with Shlok had touched the deepest core of her soul.

“Calm down, young woman. Relax. Take a deep breath and get back to reality.” A calm voice had emerged inside Sunehri’s head. “It’s just a kiss. No big deal”. A part of her, the emotional one, wanted to keep going back to the moment of the kiss; while the logical part of her kept trying to steer her away from it. For the time being, logic prevailed as she was just about to enter her flat. She could not afford to look like she was high on drugs in front of her parents. She had never taken drugs before but she now had an idea what it felt like.

The next day as Sunehri woke up; she could not wait to go to college. To meet up with Shlok and talk to him about the previous evening’s experience. She now understood why so many people went gaga about Shlok. Sunehri felt a glow of happiness as everything around her seemed more beautiful and colourful. Her heart was beating faster and she felt the proverbial butterflies in her stomach. As she waited for him near the college entrance, she was counting the minutes and even the seconds as any moment, Shlok would arrive to college. And there he was; he had arrived. She flashed the brightest smile that her face could offer as he walked towards her. Shlok acknowledged her with a curt nod and walked past her as if she was just another member of his fan club. “Hold on Shlok, wait. We need to talk” she shouted. Sunehri half expected Shlok to keep walking away and ignore her. But Shlok hesitated and walked back reluctantly towards her.

Sunehri had by now realized that they were operating on two different wavelengths. The roles had been reversed. She was no longer pursued by him. “Yeah, so about yesterday” Shlok drawled to Sunehri as if he really wanted to be somewhere else. “Whatever it was that happened between the two of us, just forget about it alright Sunehri”. “Forget about it? What do you mean forget about it? Don’t you want to at least talk about it?” Sunehri tried not to sound pleading. She was stronger than that. “There is nothing to discuss about Sunehri. The shoot is over. Everything is over. Please do not pursue me like the others. I have better things to do than indulge in a romance.”

“Why are you acting like this Shlok, this sudden change towards me?” Sunehri said, trying to keep her out of control emotions in check. “Is it because the thrill is in the chase? Now that the chase is over, there is no thrill. Is that what you seek, Shlok? You chase me as long as I am not interested and as soon as I do get interested, you begin to ignore me. So, all I am is just another notch in your belt, right?” 

“That’s right, Sunehri. As soon as you flashed that smile today, you became boring. As you said, the thrill is in the chase. So as this chase is now officially over, please do not bother me again”

 “But Shlok, what about the kiss? Did it mean nothing to you? Answer this one last thing and I will never bother you again?” Sunehri hated the sound of pleading in her voice. She was now on the verge of crying but she willed herself to not cry. Shlok could not be allowed to break her. She was raised better than that.

Shlok hesitated before answering. He found it difficult to look her in the eye but finally managed to maintain eye contact. “I will be honest with you Sunehri. I was being mean to you on purpose right now, but even I am emotionally impacted as much as you are. Just like you, the kiss shook me to the core. I could not sleep the whole night. Yesterday, for the first time in my life I felt I am in love. You managed to penetrate all my defenses and made me vulnerable. But I do not want to feel vulnerable or fragile. Not know. Not ever. I do not allow anyone to get too close to me. My life is not a fairy tale like how others believe it to be. My parents are separating. My life is a mess and love will only make it messier. I just want to be left alone as I always have been all my life. Stay away from me Sunehri. You deserve better than me. And I deserve to be alone” Shlok gave her one last look of longing and started to leave.

Sunehri could not believe what was happening. No one deserved to be alone, especially someone like Shlok who was too complex for his own good. She could not allow him to leave a good thing that was beginning to develop between them. She tried to stop him. “Don’t walk away Shlok. I am giving you one last chance. If you walk away, you lose me forever. And remember, I am the one person who sees you for who you are beyond your looks, body or wealth. And even though you are the weirdest person I have ever met, I like you for who you really are” 

“I like you too. In fact, I love you. But love is the one thing that scares me the most. It’s better for both of us if I walk away. Goodbye Sunehri”. And he walked away. Because he truly believed that he deserved to be alone and unloved. Sunehri bowed her head down in sorrow. In a strange way, she understood why Shlok had walked away. She wished he had stayed and allowed love to take its course. But in Shlok’s complicated mind, love was much more dangerous than loneliness. In his own weird way, giving up on love was his path to liberation.

Sunehri shrugged her shoulders and proceeded towards her class to meet her friends. The gang of four had been extended to five with the inclusion of Nayan who had finally regained speech in front of Sunehri. Her friends began to notice a change in Sunehri as she had become quieter and paler after Shlok had walked away. Concerned by the change, Nayan and Ambuj went to meet Sunehri at her home late in the evening. Sunehri’s mother was also worried as Sunehri had completely lost her appetite. When Sunehri again refused to eat when her friends came to visit, Nayan took matters in his own hands by feeding her Roti Sabzi himself. As usual, it was difficult for Sunehri to refuse Nayan when he turned on his charm. To make Sunehri feel better, Ambuj suggested that they visit a nightclub and dance away her sorrows as she was really fond of dancing and music. Sunehri initially refused, but she reluctantly agreed when Ambuj and Nayan insisted.

As soon as they entered the nightclub, Ambuj handed Sunehri a glass of wine. “Cheer up girl. Here, this will help raise your spirits” he told her with a wink. Sunehri immediately started feeling better after a drink and in spite of everything, her mood was improving. She started swaying to the groovy tunes that was being played by the DJ. She instantly became the center of attraction as she was a very talented dancer. She had an innate grasp of music and dancing came very naturally to her. After the party was over, Sunehri felt lucky to have friends who cared.

Seeing Sunehri’s interest in music, Nayan began to share with her the music he had composed and asked her feedback. The lyrics of his songs had a common theme; it was about the poet’s great love for his ‘Mashooqa’. But his beloved who was unaware of the poet’s love had fallen in love with someone else. All the lines flowed from Nayan’s heart and soul as the lyrics were inspired by the feelings that Sunehri generated in him. But when he was questioned about his Mashooqa, Nayan pretended she lived in Lucknow and refused to share her name or details. One evening, he suggested to Sunehri that she sing the lyrics that were to be delivered by the Mashooqa in the poem. She was hesitant as she had no prior experience in singing but as usual, Nayan managed to cajole and convince her to sing.

When Sunehri started singing, Nayan was blown away by the quality of Sunehri’s voice. Even though her voice was untrained it was incredibly melodious. Nayan had been looking for the right ingredient to complete his songs. Now his songs felt complete. “You are a freaking sensation Sunehri. Where were you hiding that voice all along?” Sunehri immediately brightened up after hearing the pleasant compliments.  After Shlok, she was beginning to go into a shell but it was Nayan and his music which was bringing her out of it. 

Even Sunehri was impressed with how the songs were turning out. She decided that they were good enough to be recorded in a music studio and then released on social media. Nayan and Sunehri shared the studio expenses and worked on fine-tuning their songs. Sunehri suggested that only the audio should be released as making a video would be too cumbersome. But Nayan was vehement that they should make the video too. “Sunehri, why waste the immense beauty that God has gifted to you. We have to capture it on video”. Sunehri felt herself blushing.

A total of six songs had been composed and recorded as audio, out of which the best one had been made into a video with Sunehri starring in it. Ambuj and Junaid who were handy with camerawork and Farah who was good at Editing contributed to the video-making process. The gang was hopeful that it would be well received by the public. They had put their heart and soul in making the video.

After a hard day’s work of recording, shooting and editing; Sunehri and Nayan were spending some time in the canteen and enjoying a well deserved break. The two had gotten closer over time, and a deep friendship was developing between them. Sunehri felt a powerful feeling stirring within when she was around Nayan but it was a feeling she was not ready to acknowledge. Sunehri knew how deeply Nayan felt for his ‘Mashooqa’ and did not want to trespass on Nayan’s emotions. Sunehri decided that she wanted to know more of this mysterious ‘Mashooqa’ who was the source of such brilliance in Nayan and inspired such beautiful creation of music. 

Nayan smiled at the paradox, Sunehri wanting to know about ‘Mashooqa’! How he wished to bare his heart out and proclaim the deep emotions that he felt for Sunehri.  He wanted to explain to her about how he felt more alive, energetic and happy whenever he was around Sunehri. That ‘Mashooqa’ was none other than Sunehri. But as luck would have it, Nayan suffered from a profound sense of self-doubt. He felt deep inside that he was not good enough for Sunehri, that she was too good for him. She was too beautiful, too intelligent and too classy for him. And now Sunehri wanted to know more about his ‘Mashooqa’.

What could Nayan say? He began describing the qualities of Sunehri to Sunehri herself. The more Nayan described his Mashooqa, the more despondent Sunehri became. “I wish someone loved me as much as you love your Mashooqa, Nayan. But all I have in my destiny is rejection and abandonment. I have such an infinite capacity to love but no one wants to like me, let alone love me. Your Mashooqa is lucky that someone has such intense emotions for her”. It was at that moment that Nayan decided that he would reveal his feelings for Sunehri. He was sure that Sunehri would be delighted to know that she was the very ‘Mashooqa’ whom she envied so much. He did not mind getting rejected as long as it brought a smile to Sunehri’s face. 

But just as Nayan was about to reveal the true nature of ‘Mashooqa’, they were joined by the rest of the gang and Nayan lost his opportunity. The rest had brought their laptops and had a look of excitement in their faces. The editing process was complete and now the video was ready to be shown to the world. Sunehri pressed the enter button to simultaneously upload and broadcast the video in YouTube, Instagram and Facebook. The gang looked at each other with pride and happiness, confident that their efforts would be appreciated.

The response to the video was better than anyone’s expectation and the reactions were phenomenal. It was catching on like wildfire and people from all over the country were transfixed by the video. Sunehri’s beauty as well as her soulful voice and Nayan’s magical composition turned out to be a winning combination and took the internet world by storm. The video had notched up more than a million views within a span of two weeks. Everyone in college were now recognizing Sunehri and appreciating her talent. Even Nayan was getting his fair share of recognition for his composition and lyrics. He was not used to being the centre of attraction as he preferred being in the background and let others hog the limelight. But when musically inclined people in the campus recognized him and shook his hands, the shine in Nayan’s eyes got even brighter.

The making of the video and its subsequent success had made Sunehri and Nayan inseparable. They began to spend more and more time together. They needed the slightest excuse to meet each other alone which even prompted Farah to ask Sunehri if she was dating Nayan. Sunehri just smiled and informed her that they were just really good friends. For Sunehri, the past wounds had not completely healed. Love just seemed to jinx everything and desecrate the emotions that she held sacred. Again her vivid imagination was activated to assuage the void she felt inside. As she would lie in her bed, preparing to go to sleep, she would imagine that she was Nayan’s ‘Mashooqa’, his beloved, and not some random girl in Lucknow. Just the thought that she was the inspiration for Nayan’s rhapsodies gave her goosebumps and produced within her electrifying sensations of delight which she found very difficult to shake off.

For Nayan, hanging out with Sunehri itself felt magical and powerful. He could listen for hours as Sunehri shared everything about her life. The expressions of her beautiful face and the soft looks of her innocent eyes could hypnotize him and put him in a state of profound satisfaction. He no longer wanted to reveal to Sunehri that she was the ‘Mashooqa’, his beloved, and not some random girl in Lucknow. He was scared that revealing it would drive her away from him and he would lose her friendship that he cherished so much.

After the first term was over, Principal Khosla announced that the college would organize a trip to resorts in Manali so that students could unwind, relax and release the tensions which accumulated during exams. Farah and Junaid could not hide their excitement as this news came out on the notice board. There could not be a more enchanting place to further explore their romance than the scenic foothills of Himalayas. The trip would last a week, and most students of Carmel would be taking the trip including Shlok, Sunehri and Nayan. Ambuj had to miss out as he would be vacationing to Europe with his family during the same time as the trip.

As the college students reached Manali, the whole mass of students got divided into smaller groups. Within the gang, the two lovebirds Farah and Junaid cocooned themselves away from the world while Sunehri and Nayan stuck to each other like glue. There was something in the mountainous air of Manali that made Sunehri and Nayan even more joyful in each other’s company. After a tiring day of games, fun and frolic the two sat around the fireside holding hands and snuggling up to each other as closely as two friends would.

The radiance of the joy that was emanating between them could not seem to contain itself. Shlok, who was nearby caught a whiff of it and was mysteriously drawn to the fireside where Nayan and Sunehri were sitting and watched them slyly from a distance. Seeing them together, Shlok could no longer suppress the feelings that were bursting inside his heart. After he had walked away from Sunehri, he had continued his string of meaningless and pointless relationships. But now that he had experienced something deep and real with Sunehri, everything and everyone else felt vapid and artificial.  The sight of Sunehri and Nayan so close together made his heart burn with jealousy, which was a feeling he had rarely experienced before. He realized that he could not digest Sunehri being with anyone else. A rage was building up within Shlok and was almost reaching the point of explosion when to his relief Sunehri got up and bid Nayan goodbye. 

Shlok followed Sunehri to her bedroom and seemed hesitant and confused about knocking on her doors. The confidence and swagger that he was well known for was deserting him at this crucial time. He finally mustered his guts and knocked on Sunehri’s bedroom. Sunehri quickly opened the doors expecting that Farah, who was her roommate in the resort, was back. She gasped with surprise when she saw it was Shlok. She quickly steadied herself and asked Shlok the reason for visiting her.  A barrage of pleas, explanations and proclamations of undying love streamed forth from Shlok’s mouth as he held Sunehri’s hands. Sunehri’s head was reeling as a mixed set of emotions began to engulf her. She could sense how strongly Shlok felt about her.

Shlok had not been the only one who had been suppressing emotions. All this while, Sunehri had tried to keep at bay the flood of emotions she felt whenever she remembered the kiss. Shlok had walked away and there was no point harking back to the kiss that changed everything. But now that Shlok had suddenly turned up at her doorsteps pleading for her love, it felt like someone had turned on the tap of emotions. All the feelings and emotions that had been kept locked leapt forth as if a caged wild animal had just been freed. Noticing that Sunehri was reacting positively, Shlok stopped groveling and became more of his charming and suave self. He had been scared that Sunehri would not respond to his display of love but the look in Sunehri’s eyes showed that she was totally smitten by him.

As Sunehri looked deeply into Shlok’s eyes; she was completely swept by the torrential flow of her emotions. The unbridled passion that the kiss had ignited was re-emerging with a force that was ferocious. She recollected the divine rhythm in her mind that Shlok’s lips had composed and she wanted to re-live it yet again. And so did Shlok. He took Sunehri by her arms and drew her closer. Just as Shlok was about to kiss her, Sunehri was struck by an intense flash of clarity: The image of Nayan’s smiling face suddenly etched itself in Sunehri’s mind. Before Shlok could kiss her, she backed off and pushed him away. Shlok stood dumbfounded by her behavior. 

Sunehri broke into a wide smile as she realized the magnitude of what she had done. She had incredibly resisted the irresistible. “Don’t get me wrong Shlok. This is nothing personal. In fact I want to thank you.” Sunehri said excitedly by way of explanation. “All this time, I was shying away from the truth but when you were about to kiss me I realized how badly I want to be with Nayan. You can imagine my love for him by the fact that I am refusing you, the guy who blew my mind away and swept me off my feet! Thanks for everything once again. Goodbye Shlok.” Sunehri hugged him warmly and kissed him on the cheeks before turning her back on him. She hurriedly left her room with a determined sense of purpose in her strides.  In a strange way, Shlok understood why Sunehri had walked away. He was only glad that he had lost her to a worthy person. There was no shame in losing out to a more deserving opponent. Shlok was no sore loser. If Sunehri would be happier with Nayan, who was he to complain? He shrugged his shoulders and returned to his own room, defeated but not dejected.

As Sunehri was rushing towards Nayan’s room she realized winning Nayan’s love would not be that easy. There was that stupid ‘Mashooqa’ to contend with. “Mashooqa ki aisi ki taisi. Nayan should not care a rat’s ass for someone like that silly ‘Mashooqa’ who fell in love with someone else.” She concluded to herself.  She confidently reached up to Nayan’s room and knocked on his doorsteps. A bleary eyed Nayan opened the door, looking like someone who had been woken up from deep slumber. Once he saw it was Sunehri, he immediately brightened up and welcomed her inside his room. As soon as Sunehri sat on the chair, she directed the most colourful curses and abuses that were available at her disposal and aimed them at the Lucknawi Memsaab ‘The Mashooqa’. 

Noticing the irony of the situation, Nayan immediately shushed her “Sssh Sunehri. Stop cursing her. I love her.” “And I love you Nayan” Sunehri replied passionately. “I love you from the bottom of my heart. I can understand if you choose your ‘Mashooqa’ over me. It was wrong of me to abuse her. But I could not help it. I really do love you” 

Finally, Nayan connected the dots as he saw Sunehri looking at him doe-eyed with love immeasurable in its capacity. Just like the moment when his great love had first struck him, Sunehri’s look of forlorn love left him too overwhelmed for words. He was feeling tongue tied and incapable of speech yet again. He pointed his fingers at Sunehri and somehow gurgled out the words “You are Mashooqa. Always.” At hearing these words, it was Sunehri’s turn to connect the dots. “Ohh. I am Mashooqa!!”  Sunehri exclaimed and broke into uncontrollable peals of laughter with tears of joy raining down her cheeks. With regards to Nayan, words have not been invented yet to describe what he felt at that moment. It would be an injustice to even attempt to explain it. Suffice it to say, the shine that gleamed from his eyes was enough to illuminate the darkest corners of earth. 

Sunehri’s laughter of joy eventually abated after a considerable amount of time. She crashed into Nayan’s waiting arms and kissed him with a feverish fervor. As they embraced, it would not be an overstatement to say that their souls merged into one. An eternal, everlasting and timeless love had found its home.

Written by Smiran Bhandari

Email: smiranb@gmail.com